Saturday, March 27, 2010

FINALLY.....!! phew..!

The "finally" is written for two reasons:

1. my net is working....!!! YO.
2. I got my first ever AWARD.

Well thanks a lot vandy for this award. as per the rules i am supposed to forward this award to 5 more buddies of's the list....

3. PAN

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Life is full of surprises. Peasant, unpleasant both. One you get used to the flow of it, it seems nothing but a cakewalk. But then what’s the fun in living a guarded life. What I mean is that, when you know what you have to do or are supposed to do... you surely, undoubtedly lead an organised life. But hell, you miss the fun filled element in your life. That rush or doing something out of the blue.... totally unexpectedly......!!

There are people with me in college, who come to college, attend all the lectures, jot down all the notes, go back home straight from college. They know they have to fight amongst the likes of them to reach the top position in the class. They have already decided what/ how their future will be. I am nowhere close to them. Believe it or not, I am still totally clueless about my future. What will I do, where will I go..? Will I manage to get a job...? Should I go for an MBA...? All these questions are still unanswered. When in my 12th standard I faced a similar situation. As to WHAT NEXT...? Now after 4 years of this wonderful journey I find myself at the same place from where I started. Someone rightly said “LIFE IS A CIRCLE”. There are moments when I get really worked up and tense thinking about my future. But for the most part, I remain blissfully unconcerned. I have no idea as to what my future will be, where or what I ll do. So, at this point of time I want to enjoy the few left moments of my student life.....

The feel of sitting in a classroom, texting in the classroom, eating the Tiffin in the classroom, fighting over seats, exchanging looks and smiles, the numerous plates of momo’s @ canteen, photography (which is imperative to my existence now)....! Want to enjoy the spontaneity of a moment. When suddenly a plan is made. Fights over the bigger slice of pizza, avoiding the bill, creating ruckus...!! I may not be sure about what my future is going to be like.... but I can guarantee that when I look back, thinking about this phase of my life, in my memories, in the huge huge collection of pics that I have..... I will smile, laugh and cry... all at the same time....!!

Now that I am about to complete this circle, I am apprehensive about the new beginning. Excited as well as intimidated. Just hoping that whatever it may be, it should at least be half as wonderful as my college days. Also, I get disturbed thinking about the fact, that who’s going to take care of me, with my friends no longer with me. It’s so hard to even imagine that after a few months, we will not be together. No more “kal kitne baje jaana hai...”? “Sorry I ll be late”..? “Let’s bunk”....!!

Well still there are some two, three months left comprising of- a major project, final exams and not to miss the sessionals (have one tomorrow). Thinking of living life as it comes, with great zeal and vigour. At the same time, keeping few shutters open for the making of decisions of the FUTURE.


p.s don't know when my net will work.... so when i got the chance to use net, i posted all that i had written in a few days...

LET ME BE “ME”..........!!!!

I want to know who I am. Sick and tired of all the pretence surrounding me. Pretentions of being good to others, when in reality you could happily shoot them. Smiling and saying fine thank you when actually you feel nothing close to being “fine”. You talk to me as if you adore me, when I know how much you hate me........

I just don’t care about pleasing peoplea round me anymore. I just want to be me. I want to laugh loudly when I feel like. I want to cry my heart out when I wish to. I want to whistle freely, when I am in a good mood (YUP...!! I can whistle). I want to stand up against all odds, when I feel that whatever is happening is not right, not just go with the flow, thinking “who cares... let it be”. I don’t want to be answerable to people who don’t matter to me, explaining my decisions and actions to people who otherwise don’t give a damn to what I do or say.....

I wish it was as easy to bring it into practice as it was to write it. However strong or determined you may be. There are always times when YOU HAVE TO bend. However you hate it, whatever you do, people will make you do what you don’t want to, and you won’t even realise it. You wouldn’t get the time to think about your actions, let alone the thought of thinking about the repercussions.

A teacher of mine once said......
“I really don’t care if you guys call me khaduus or strict behind my back, because that means I have done my job successfully. I have not bent on my set principles to make you people happy in the wrong way.....!!
I will never forget these lines and the teacher who said these lines. Really admire her.

Hats off to such people, who have the courage to “be different” and revolutionalise the society. Here’s hoping to find the real me soon enough, who’s hiding behind all the facade people want/ expect me to create in order to please them and live my live in accordance with their desires and wishes.....!!
Sorry folks but I want myself back.....!!

P.s I m still wondering “what have I written about”....!!
p.s posted from friend's place

Friday, March 19, 2010


This post goes for all those who are/have been missing me from the blogging scene. To all the people who are missing my posts ( well, I am assuming, there will be some...!!)
Anyways the reason for my decayed frequency of posts is that my network connection is experiencing some serious troubles...!!

Poor me :(

As u all might know and understand that I am hugely addicted to blogging, and can hardly take this huge interval of time without posting or hell just checking my blog and of that of my blog-o-buddies....!! Have taking soo much trouble to get fleeting glimpses of my blog.... visiting friends, sharing passwords....!!And to add to my misery, there is no cyber cafe in my vicinity.... As if this was not enough, i have internal assessment exams or sessionals, as they are popularly known in this part of the country.....!!

* sigh*

So today I skipped my exams (hey.... not for using net....! not that addicted... *thank god for that*) actually the question paper was a hell of a s***. so i, actually we (which includes half of the class) stood up together in style and left the paper.....!!

So, that's how I got this much valued time to check and post. using the net @ college net lab. aaaahhh the bliss...!! Seriously, can't explain the bounty full happiness. I had though of writing a few lines, explaining my absence. But once I started I couldn't stop. gosh.... have got so much to write, that i can just go on and on.....

But taking into consideration the time constrain and the fact that my friend is waiting for me in the canteen, I am forcing myself to stop, however hard it maybe and however badly I may hate it....

So friends I say goodbye with the promise that I ll be back soon (like I said before, I am actually assuming that you guys are missing me :D :P )

Monday, March 8, 2010


On this women’s day I have decided to dedicate a post to all the women out there. It’s really a great idea to keep this one day aside to celebrate the essence of womanhood. There are “n” number of things happening on this day. Turn on the television and you will see some or the other awards function. Each commemorating the “great women achievers”. That’s good, that’s very good. But what those women who live under the siege of domestic violence and polygamy. What about those innocent girl children who are killed even before they are born or killed brutally when they are born. Has India really done a great job of securing women....?

Women empowerment, gender equality are great concepts. Good to hear. But are they realistic....? Recent HUU HAA over the passage of women’s bill says it all...!!

I don’t mean to go on blaring out all the negatives, so quickly switching to all the positivity’s. A day all dedicated to the spirit of us, feels great. A girl in her life has many roles to play... she is a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law etc. Multitasking is a second nature of her’s. Living her life, always thinking about other’s best before her own, unlimited source of strength. Being mature and childish as the same time is her forte.

Kudos to all the girls, bearing all the downsides of being a girl... mixing them with the advantages (there are many, will dedicate a post to them in near future) and living life to the fullest. So, go out and celebrate this women’s day with those who cannot afford to have as much fun as you do.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Can a title be weirder than this....? You must be wondering, what sort of a memory is related to a monkey..? But, I have one. Sweet and special. Now this memory is not one of those which i recall when sitting alone, thinking, and smiling. Nope. It’s one of those which is etched up in your mind, somewhere far behind, an area which is not easily, readily accessible. The presence/remembrance of which is entirely situational or circumstantial. My idea of writing this post is not to confuse you but to share with you such an incident which was somewhere in my mind but needed a trigger to get resurfaced.

Now, without much ado I would straightway jump to the fact......

I was reading a book in which there was a mention of monkeys. Now whenever I read a book, each line of the story forms a picture in my mind. While reading, I simultaneously keep getting this pictorial view of the person, location described, scene, a room....... so, when the monkey thing appeared in the book. I got this picture of a monkey. Not just any monkey, but a special one with whom I had a face-to face meet some 15 years ago.


The story henceforth continues in my mind.
Once upon a time, in a place where I lived in my childhood, there was this monkey, who had lost his mental balance and was on a rampage (literally). (And, no I haven’t been bitten by the INDIA NEWS or IBN-7 news bug). This is a true story. This monkey, who had been given a name ROMEO, had created a panic amongst the people. He used to bite children, small innocent children and there had been a number of cases. Everyone was wary, little children- including me, were naturally petrified.

One fine day, I was playing on the terrace, dancing in my mum’s dupatta and her shoes. When I spotted the dreadful monkey some two, three houses away. I still remember and can swear on it that he saw me too (getting Goosebumps, even now). I immediately ran towards my door and could sense him following me. And I wasn’t wrong, the moment I reached inside the safety if my home, he was there right after me waiting outside the door. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes....... time passed slowly and he stayed glued there. When I couldn’t take it anymore sitting jailed inside, I picked up the doormat and stuck it on the mesh door, in order to shoo him away. Far from getting shooed away, he got wild and angry. Big time. He started jumping, getting at the door handle (which was bolted....). and I merely some 5,6 years of age was scared like hell. I don’t remember much after this apart from the fact that the monkey left at some point of time and I keep crying, refusing to move, eat, go out...

I stayed like that till late in the evening, when finally papa came back. He was told the whole ordeal, with me crying in the background. My dad took me in his arms and carried me outside, ignoring my protests, shouts and cries. I had this notion stuck in my mind that the monkey was hiding somewhere, within the premises of my house, waiting to attack me. My dad carried me up the terrace and explained an important lesson to me.... I remember the exact worlds

“God has created the world for both animals and humans. Both have an equal write to live. If someone hurts you, you will protect yourself, won’t you..? Similarly animals too have to protect themselves. That’s why, bee stings, snake bites, to protect .If you leave them in peace, they will do you no harm. You were a threat to the monkey, what he did was so protect himself”.

Slowly the fear reduced in me and I enjoyed the breezy dark night with my dad. And yeah, came back down on my own feet.

Inspite of the number of years that have passed since then, this chapter of my life is so clearly etched up in my memory and will always be. And I will never forget, what my dad taught me that day. Since then ,and even now, I am never too scared of any animal. Errr ummm... apart from cockroaches... well ... that I really can’t help, they are soo ewww...!!

Monday, March 1, 2010


In life this one thing I am sure everyone one has heard some time or the other. I generally get irritated and angry at such sexist comments but this one comment does get a nod from me. Why you ask..? Well because of experience.... I have experienced dilemma at numerous points in my life. And noticed the same in life of my girlfriends. Some of such instances are so hilarious that I was compelled to write about one of them.

Recently I went to this famous food point in Jammu called pahalwan-di-hatti with my friend. We were in mood for some pau-bhaji. I went to the counter to get the coupon for the same. I had a 500 rupee note with me. So the uncle behind the counter asked me “you want anything else”? I replied confidently “no”. As soon as I left the counter I got this idea of packing something to take home. So I made my way back to the crowed counter to get the coupon for kaladi ( a milk product, desi cheese). I got the coupon for it and went to the counter for kaladi. While waiting for my turn to get the kaladi packed, I thought that this is so fatty and unhealthy. I thought it would be better to take some puri-cholle. So without wasting one more minute a rushed back to the counter and told the irritated uncle in the sweetest of all voices “ uncle, yeh order change ho sakta hai...”? uncle just gave a stiff nod. Nevermind I thought... atleast he agreed. So I told him quickly “uncle 3 plate puri-cholle”. He handed over me the coupon. But .... I though 2 plates will be more than sufficient. “uncle 2 plates kar do please”. Thank god I added please. Because the look uncle gave me after that said a lot of things. “are you out of your mind girl/ you are testing my patience/ I ll throw you out/ I ll see to it you are never allowed inside. I sweetly took the coupon this time swearing that I will not change my mind again. And thought I will not show him my face again for at least a week or so because I am sure he will remember my face for a long time in near future.