A distant acquaintance once remarked how women have nothing better to discuss other than the status of their respective maids. This was in response to a question asked about whether they have hired a new help after the previous once took off. At the time, the comment really pinched me. I thought it to be very sexist and condescending. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is indeed a very important and frequent point of discussion amongst us womenfolk. My society whatsapp group is full of messages on the status of various maids. And someone or the other is always on the look-out for that perfect maid. After all why wouldn't they be? Our helps undertake a very important aspect from the very long list of responsibilities that we women have under our belts. Their absence even for a day creates havoc in our lives and homes.
I myself never gave much thought or appreciation to the work or dependency we have on our maids. Some years back I saw this movie called The Help. Ever since I read Gone with the wind, I have been obsessed with Southern American culture. Cotton picking, ice-teas, fried chicken, deviled eggs, pretty bonnets y’all. So I am always looking out for movies or books based in and around the Southern area. Over the years I have read a lot of The Color purple, Beloved etc. One of the days I stumbled upon this movie called The Help - it had me hooked on from the first scene. It had all the ingredients I desired. I loved the movie so much that I quickly bought the book it was based on. We all know no movie can ever do justice to the book and boy was I right. The book was a revelation for me.
Of Course I loved the story, the semi fictional account of the vast social difference between the blacks and whites, the bridge parties and Minnie’s world famous chocolate pie. It was all good but the book resonated something much more deep than all this. It basically showed the world from the perspective of the help. Now this help did not necessarily have to be a black woman in Mississippi for the effect or the message to get delivered. It could just as easily have been someone in India or for that matter any other part of the world.
Like I said before, I never gave much thought to helpers, their chores, unplanned leaves or different issues they come with. But the time I started reading the book coincided with the time when I was responsible for employing a help of my own. I was responsible for her salary, taking counts of her leaves, guiding her on what to be done and verifying whether it was done properly. Every time I read a passage from the book, I could relate it with my maid. How she would feel working for so many people, cleaning their homes from morning to dusk while her own home at times stayed neglected. Taking care of other children while her own awaited her arrival. Cooking stuff in quality and quantity that she can hardly afford to cook for her family. It is definitely not an easy feat. Both physically and emotionally. Our respective helps not only deserve our respect but also a lot of empathy. A bit of guidance sometimes and also a firm voice whenever the situation demands.
I get super panicky whenever my maid is late even by 5 mins from her scheduled time. I leave for office exactly one hour after her arrival, so her delay directly impacts my timings. I remember on one occasion (after a night of party) our home was particularly messy and I had to rush out early in the morning.The beds were messy, unwashed utensils occupied the basin, side tables were hither and thither, there was spilled water and hence muddy footprints all over the floor. I was just minutes away from leaving and my maids phone was unreachable. I was literally getting panic attacks from the state my home was in, moreover I knew even if I left, the images would keep me restless for the entire day. So you can very well imagine the joy when I saw her enter. I quickly left for work leaving the entire cleaning responsibility and home under her reign. While away I did question my hastily taken decision of keeping her alone in the house, but all my apprehensions were quickly dissolved when I came back to a spick and span home.Cleanliness is definitely a very underrated pleasure. A clean kitchen and a nicely made bed give me an ultimate high and peace at the same time.
This another time at the wild 30th birthday bash, apart from a lot of fun there was also a lot of mayhem. Glasses were broken, biryani was dropped, thumbs up was spilled like champagne. Nonetheless the party poppers went to sleep after a half-heartily attempt at cleaning. Only to be woken up at 6 in the morning by a call from the maid informing on how she wouldn't be able to make it today. Jeepers Creepers. I almost had a nervous breakdown thinking about the unwashed plates I had neatly stacked up to be washed, the not-so-efficient way the biryani was cleaned up with little specs and stains still on the floor or the haste with which the broken glass was just swooshed in a corner near the dustbin. I could hardly go back to sleep after this major major debacle. So I woke up and started cleaning the utensils one by one. Luckily I managed to get neighbors' helper to help me clean up rest of the mess and restore my sanity. I totally feel for all those amazing women/men who live out of the country where it may not always be possible to get help. I have unrelenting respect for all these people.
Everything said and done, like all relationships there has to be a lot of trust, honesty and mutual respect. A good maid is hard to get. But once you manage to get one and train her, your life will be a little bit sorted. Well, until she goes on leave :P
Lots of Love:
Sepo
I myself never gave much thought or appreciation to the work or dependency we have on our maids. Some years back I saw this movie called The Help. Ever since I read Gone with the wind, I have been obsessed with Southern American culture. Cotton picking, ice-teas, fried chicken, deviled eggs, pretty bonnets y’all. So I am always looking out for movies or books based in and around the Southern area. Over the years I have read a lot of The Color purple, Beloved etc. One of the days I stumbled upon this movie called The Help - it had me hooked on from the first scene. It had all the ingredients I desired. I loved the movie so much that I quickly bought the book it was based on. We all know no movie can ever do justice to the book and boy was I right. The book was a revelation for me.
Of Course I loved the story, the semi fictional account of the vast social difference between the blacks and whites, the bridge parties and Minnie’s world famous chocolate pie. It was all good but the book resonated something much more deep than all this. It basically showed the world from the perspective of the help. Now this help did not necessarily have to be a black woman in Mississippi for the effect or the message to get delivered. It could just as easily have been someone in India or for that matter any other part of the world.
Like I said before, I never gave much thought to helpers, their chores, unplanned leaves or different issues they come with. But the time I started reading the book coincided with the time when I was responsible for employing a help of my own. I was responsible for her salary, taking counts of her leaves, guiding her on what to be done and verifying whether it was done properly. Every time I read a passage from the book, I could relate it with my maid. How she would feel working for so many people, cleaning their homes from morning to dusk while her own home at times stayed neglected. Taking care of other children while her own awaited her arrival. Cooking stuff in quality and quantity that she can hardly afford to cook for her family. It is definitely not an easy feat. Both physically and emotionally. Our respective helps not only deserve our respect but also a lot of empathy. A bit of guidance sometimes and also a firm voice whenever the situation demands.
I get super panicky whenever my maid is late even by 5 mins from her scheduled time. I leave for office exactly one hour after her arrival, so her delay directly impacts my timings. I remember on one occasion (after a night of party) our home was particularly messy and I had to rush out early in the morning.The beds were messy, unwashed utensils occupied the basin, side tables were hither and thither, there was spilled water and hence muddy footprints all over the floor. I was just minutes away from leaving and my maids phone was unreachable. I was literally getting panic attacks from the state my home was in, moreover I knew even if I left, the images would keep me restless for the entire day. So you can very well imagine the joy when I saw her enter. I quickly left for work leaving the entire cleaning responsibility and home under her reign. While away I did question my hastily taken decision of keeping her alone in the house, but all my apprehensions were quickly dissolved when I came back to a spick and span home.Cleanliness is definitely a very underrated pleasure. A clean kitchen and a nicely made bed give me an ultimate high and peace at the same time.
This another time at the wild 30th birthday bash, apart from a lot of fun there was also a lot of mayhem. Glasses were broken, biryani was dropped, thumbs up was spilled like champagne. Nonetheless the party poppers went to sleep after a half-heartily attempt at cleaning. Only to be woken up at 6 in the morning by a call from the maid informing on how she wouldn't be able to make it today. Jeepers Creepers. I almost had a nervous breakdown thinking about the unwashed plates I had neatly stacked up to be washed, the not-so-efficient way the biryani was cleaned up with little specs and stains still on the floor or the haste with which the broken glass was just swooshed in a corner near the dustbin. I could hardly go back to sleep after this major major debacle. So I woke up and started cleaning the utensils one by one. Luckily I managed to get neighbors' helper to help me clean up rest of the mess and restore my sanity. I totally feel for all those amazing women/men who live out of the country where it may not always be possible to get help. I have unrelenting respect for all these people.
Everything said and done, like all relationships there has to be a lot of trust, honesty and mutual respect. A good maid is hard to get. But once you manage to get one and train her, your life will be a little bit sorted. Well, until she goes on leave :P
Lots of Love:
Sepo
