Adulting with Adult Acne

I try and think back to a time when I had clear baby skin. Smooth and supple. Without the cruel mark-ations left by years of Acne’s war against my skin. Since I grew up in a pre-smart phone generation, I don’t have many pictures to ponder and admire my pre-pimple life. Life. Yes. Having acne changes you as a person. It affects every aspect of your being. Your personal and professional life. You become more self-conscious and your confidence will hit an all-time low. You will get tired of people asking questions about why you have pimples. Ha, as if you the answer to that question. And you will get more tired of people offering unsolicited advices especially the garelu nuske.

After 16 years of continuous struggle with acne, I can proudly say that I have tried everything under the sun. So, I will start chronologically because aap chronology samajeye. Pimples are natural at the time of puberty and its very natural to treat them as naturally as possible at this stage. So, that’s where the first mistake was made. Every skin issue is different and can arise from various reasons. It is very important to take a dermatological opinion before irritating the hell out of your skin with neem ke patte. I had a lot of Safi and way lot of fullers' earth (multani mitti), masoor daal, neem (of course) face packs. The result of all this you ask? Well, let me just say that people who did not know my name in college conveniently addressed me as the-thin-girl-with-a-lot-of-pimples-on-her-face.

After college I shifted to Mumbai and my skin just couldn’t behave itself. I had a really bad spout of not just pimples now but open pores, blackheads, shiny oily skin and oh nasty painful oozing pustules. And not only on my face but back (bye-bye deep necks) and chest too. I had trouble sleeping because ouch these shitty things hurt like hell. I had trouble looking in the mirror. I had trouble clicking pictures (and I love taking pictures). I had trouble meeting new people. I had trouble taking baths because no matter how careful I was, one or two pimples always got burst. Meanwhile I went a little cray cray doing all sorts of self-medications like baking soda, toothpaste etc etc. Since my skin was oily, I though keeping it dry would simply just cure everything. It was only recently I came to know that over drying leads to more oil production and hence more pimply babies. Shucks. I generally slept in these concoctions and would naively believe I will wake up with clean and clear skin.

Me. Every-night back then

At this point of time I also took all advices given to me very seriously. So, when someone suggested to apply my saliva just after waking up till it dries, I did it. When an aunty randomly stopped me in a supermarket and told me to wash my face with a mixture of dried orange peel and nigella seeds – I quickly called up with parents and told them to do the needful. They kept this concoction ready in bottles for me to take back (Just remembered, I still have a few left :D). 

When situation became out of control – and by this, I mean less face and more pimples, I finally decided to see a doctor. Why the delay you ask? Because somehow with everyone around me saying “it gets better with age” - I started to believe this blatant lie too. May I add - I was well around my mid-twenties by this time. The doctor immediately put me on oral retinoid treatment. I was skeptical considering the side-effects but decided to go for it, nevertheless. Apart from the obvious side-effects (duly informed by the doctor) the medications made my skin super-duper sensitive. I was supposed to cover myself completely in the sun or else I would look like a tomato. Plus, my skin would literally peel so no waxing for like 6 months or so. Which when I think back was good only – try going to a parlor with pimples on your face and you will understand what I mean. Aap yeh karva lo clear ho jayega, aap wo khareed lo sab sahi ho jayega. Anyways, the medication did work, my skin cleared up and bought a smile to my face. Now people were all like “Wow, where are the pimples?” 

The in-progress picture

Oops celebrated too soon. Acne was back and with vengeance. It was also around the same time I noticed a lot of hair growth on my face. Now whether a side-effect of medicines or hormonal issues who knows. Just what I needed - as if pimples were not enough. Phew. This time I took the approach of internal healing. After-all what goes inside your body will reflect outside. So stopped salty, oily food. Cut-out dairy. Lots of water, salads, detox waters and the face packs were back too. Thankfully this time, there were a lot of editing tools available to hide the imperfections. My darling friend, the cool gal S (previously mentioned here) helped and still helps me choose the best pictures for uploading. All I have to do is send a bunch of pictures and she replies with the best one – editing at proper places. Not just removing marks and blemishes but if required she adds up a dash of lipstick or blush as well (attaching exhibits of her talent below). 

Uneven skin tone? No Problem

Pimple se No-Pimple

The dietary restrictions failed to show up any results, and with my shaadi less than a year ahead - it was time for a new doctor. This one was more into cosmetic procedures. No eating medicines but a lot of expensive Micellar waters, Antirougeurs cremes and so on. She also suggested laser treatment and chemical peels and I (desperate for results) and with my never-say-never attitude went for it. So, I undertook these laser treatment sittings which pricked my skin and pinched my pockets. Laser was still better but Chemical peel was extremely painful, and I could only tolerate one. Result as expected was good and I was pimple free on my D-Day. Although on my reception day, the makeup girl did remark “aap toh bahut hairy ho” while applying base-crème to my face, with my sister-in-law sitting right next to me.

But like all good things, my clear skin days did come to an end.

Next bout of acne was all over my jawline and chin which indicated hormonal issues. This time it was gynecologist visits which opened another can of worms. Cut to this day – the struggle continues. Now pimples don’t surprise or disappoint me. I have accepted them as a part of my life and face. I also don’t give much though before uploading pictures now. Ain’t no pimple gonna hurt anyone. Though over the years I now have some knowledge about what works for my skin and what doesn’t. I do basic cleansing, cleaning and hope for the best. My bouts somehow also match timings with important events like marriages, vacations, people visiting etc. Thankfully we now have makeup products specifically for sensitive acne prone skin, so that helps. People however continue to ask why I have pimples and even after 16 years I have no answers.

Le Sigh. 

Love:
Sepo

The Help

A distant acquaintance once remarked how women have nothing better to discuss other than the status of their respective maids. This was in response to a question asked about whether they have hired a new help after the previous once took off. At the time, the comment really pinched me. I thought it to be very sexist and condescending. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is indeed a very important and frequent point of discussion amongst us womenfolk. My society whatsapp group is full of messages on the status of various maids. And someone or the other is always on the look-out for that perfect maid. After all why wouldn't they be? Our helps undertake a very important aspect from the very long list of responsibilities that we women have under our belts. Their absence even for a day creates havoc in our lives and homes.

I myself never gave much thought or appreciation to the work or dependency we have on our maids. Some years back I saw this movie called The Help. Ever since I read Gone with the wind, I have been obsessed with Southern American culture. Cotton picking, ice-teas, fried chicken, deviled eggs, pretty bonnets y’all. So I am always looking out for movies or books based in and around the Southern area. Over the years I have read a lot of The Color purple, Beloved etc. One of the days I stumbled upon this movie called The Help - it had me hooked on from the first scene. It had all the ingredients I desired. I loved the movie so much that I quickly bought the book it was based on. We all know no movie can ever do justice to the book and boy was I right. The book was a revelation for me.

Of Course I loved the story, the semi fictional account of the vast social difference between the blacks and whites, the bridge parties and Minnie’s world famous chocolate pie. It was all good but the book resonated something much more deep than all this. It basically showed the world from the perspective of the help. Now this help did not necessarily have to be a black woman in Mississippi for the effect or the message to get delivered. It could just as easily have been someone in India or for that matter any other part of the world.

Like I said before, I never gave much thought to helpers, their chores, unplanned leaves or different issues they come with. But the time I started reading the book coincided with the time when I was responsible for employing a help of my own. I was responsible for her salary, taking counts of her leaves, guiding her on what to be done and verifying whether it was done properly. Every time I read a passage from the book, I could relate it with my maid. How she would feel working for so many people, cleaning their homes from morning to dusk while her own home at times stayed neglected. Taking care of other children while her own awaited her arrival. Cooking stuff in quality and quantity that she can hardly afford to cook for her family. It is definitely not an easy feat. Both physically and emotionally. Our respective helps not only deserve our respect but also a lot of empathy. A bit of guidance sometimes and also a firm voice whenever the situation demands.

I get super panicky whenever my maid is late even by 5 mins from her scheduled time. I leave for office exactly one hour after her arrival, so her delay directly impacts my timings. I remember on one occasion (after a night of party) our home was particularly messy and I had to rush out early in the morning.The beds were messy, unwashed utensils occupied the basin, side tables were hither and thither, there was spilled water and hence muddy footprints all over the floor. I was just minutes away from leaving and my maids phone was unreachable. I was literally getting panic attacks from the state my home was in, moreover I knew even if I left, the images would keep me restless for the entire day. So you can very well imagine the joy when I saw her enter. I quickly left for work leaving the entire cleaning responsibility and home under her reign. While away I did question my hastily taken decision of keeping her alone in the house, but all my apprehensions were quickly dissolved when I came back to a spick and span home.Cleanliness is definitely a very underrated pleasure. A clean kitchen and a nicely made bed give me an ultimate high and peace at the same time.

This another time at the wild 30th birthday bash, apart from a lot of fun there was also a lot of mayhem. Glasses were broken, biryani was dropped, thumbs up was spilled like champagne. Nonetheless the party poppers went to sleep after a half-heartily attempt at cleaning. Only to be woken up at 6 in the morning by a call from the maid informing on how she wouldn't be able to make it today. Jeepers Creepers. I almost had a nervous breakdown thinking about the unwashed plates I had neatly stacked up to be washed, the not-so-efficient way the biryani was cleaned up with little specs and stains still on the floor or the haste with which the broken glass was just swooshed in a corner near the dustbin. I could hardly go back to sleep after this major major debacle. So I woke up and started cleaning the utensils one by one. Luckily I managed to get neighbors' helper to help me clean up rest of the mess and restore my sanity. I totally feel for all those amazing women/men who live out of the country where it may not always be possible to get help. I have unrelenting respect for all these people.


Everything said and done, like all relationships there has to be a lot of trust, honesty and mutual respect. A good maid is hard to get. But once you manage to get one and train her, your life will be a little bit sorted. Well, until she goes on leave :P
 

Lots of Love:
Sepo

Dieting or Die (eating)

Sometimes I think about all the times I mindlessly ate Pizzas bursting with cheese, sandwiches drowned in mayonnaise, bread with a thick layer of butter, unlimited momos, desi chowmein suitably sprinkled with harmful MSGs and ajinomoto, pakoras fried in oil of a very questionable color. Ahh the reckless days of youth.No one to guide you to say - A moment of the lips, forever on the hips.

Although in the prime of youth one can afford the luxury of eating all the junk but the issue is that it forms a habit and you start to develop the taste. And man! Nothing tastes as good as unhealthy food. Nothing is as addictive as the taste of fat. Don't get me started on the withdrawal symptoms of unhealthy food - the sudden urge to eat an entire box of caramel salted ice cream at midnight is real.

Now sometime back, I undertook a challenge to eat healthy at least during the weekdays. Little did I know that it would lead to a road full of contradictions and confusions. Just like in any department, marketing plays a huge role in the health industry (if I may call it so). Ever since I started to Ahem increase in size, I observed a very peculiar scenario - every other month, one or the other food item is promoted as a healthy super-food. You just have to have it in order to stay fit and lose weight or you must be stuck in a rut of trying-to-lose forever. Now you may not pay heed - but you will spot this super-food everywhere - Newspapers, Instagram, Hoardings or some actress with enviable abs will be seen promoting and swearing by it.

At one point of time it was the egg whites. Yellow was the enemy. Chuck the yolk, everyone said. Unhealthy fats, heart diseases, diabetes - the list of bads was endless. I remember reading about how whipping up an omelette of 6 egg whites (with veggies, of course) was the ideal breakfast and whites of boiled eggs was the ideal pre-workout meal. Then some years back there was another theory about how the yolk is super loaded with essential nutrients. People with Vitamin D deficiency (which is like every other person) should definitely have an egg a day (with the yolk intact!). For a person like me who loves the yoke, no amount of egg whites satisfied me or my appetite.

Next boom was about Blueberries. Apparently packed with antioxidants - which fight everything from aging to acidity, it was the ultimate breakfast food. Whether or not its local to where you stay was not taken into consideration. It just had to be had as-is or in a smoothie. And that reminds me of the smoothie trend. Nutri bullet sales skyrocketed like nobody’s business because of this. Smoothie bowls of distinct colors garnished with fruits and myriad of seeds was the ultimate Instagram-able breakfast food. Although why no one stops to ponder on how these non-native fruits and ingredients are burning a very gaping hole in our pockets is beyond me! My tryst with blueberries ended quickly when I spotted them in a supermarket priced at some Rs 550 for 250 grams.

The liquid diet cleanse was really big at one point of time (or maybe still it) . Everyone from Beyonce to Jacqueline were seen endorsing it. RAW came up with 5 to 6 liquid meal packs which took care of all the necessary nutrients. Mornings with citric, mid morning and lunch with cold soups, afternoons and dinner with light on the stomach concoctions. For one tiny bottle at a time, the prices sure were exuberant. Flavor infused waters were another rage. But many people counter argued that apart from flushing out toxins the liquid diet can hamper the body by making it loose essential vitamins etc.

Then came avocado. And everything else took a back stage. Suddenly everyone’s favorite snack was avocado toast. Yours truly inspired by all the coverage this vegetable fruit got, shopped for my very own first Avo. No prior experience ensured that I pick up the wrong (unripe) one. I was expecting buttery creamy taste but could hardly swallow my bitter toast. I wondered why the world was going ga ga over this shit which was probably just a distinct cousin of the karela. But soon I made amends by learning the right way avocado from a dear friend. And now avo toast topped with fried egg is my favorite breakfast.

To make matters more complicated than ever there is this new section of people who only eat gluten free and vegan. The list of foods they can eat is minuscule as compared to the ocean of food they cannot (or choose not to). I am sure what they eat is healthy and beneficial. But how do you suddenly make a drastic change from what you have grown up eating to something totally different. And how can you be suddenly lactose intolerant after years of gulping bottles of milk. My kashmiri brain took a somersault when I read you are not allowed to have dairy. Everything else is fine but no dahi? For a kashmiri a person who does have curd is a freak. After paracetamol, good old zamdodh (curd) is the ultimate cure for all ailments.

Amid all the madness, I find dietitian Rituja’s voice pretty sane. She insists on eating local and seasonal. Backed with scientific significance (and Kareena Kapoor’s body), I really like how she encourages good eating habits by not making them scary and complicated. I feel half the battle is lost right when you complicate a diet with ingredients that either cost a bomb or need to be specially sourced. Then prep time also matters. When I come home tired from office and have a Martha Steward kinda recipe to attend to, I would rather just Swiggy or Zomato thinking just this one time. But soon enough it forms a habit and leads to a post like this one :)

So for now I am taking heed from Rituja and taking baby steps towards eating better. No fads, no super-foods only ghar ka fresh khana. And some avo toast once in a while :)

Stay healthy people!

Love:
Sepo

An Observation!

Are we as a new generation becoming ultra-modern in our approach?

The modernity reflects in every aspect of our lives, be in the way we dress, the food we eat, the clothes we buy and the way we talk. Just look around yourself and you will see - a very similar approach we are following as a society.

I spend a lot of my time alone. And to spend this time nicely I am forever looking out for quint little cafe's where I can just unwind with a cup of coffee and a great book. But often this very exquisite rendezvous with myself turns into an observation exercise. I love analysing people sitting around me, listening to snippets of their communication, drooling over the food they order etc. Now I understand this makes me sound like a creep but this is something most of us do - irrespective of whether we admit it or not.

Anyhow moving on the thing that I realized after many occasions of my serious analysis is that there is a very considerable change that has come across in the last few years. And this change is having an exponential effect, slowly spreading its wings and becoming a part of our day to day approach. Now let’s discuss about these subtle changes in a little detail. I want you to think about any couple with kids, just think about the way they talk to the child. 8 out of 10 times you would recall parents talking and encouraging the kid to talk in English! Now I know many people with argue what is wrong with that? There isn’t. In fact, I am assuming that many parents do this so that their kids are more adaptable and aware. I say many because there is a section of people who purely do so to appear cool. Even that’s fine, to each his own! I mean who i am to judge how and in what way anyone wants to groom their kids. But my only qualm is how our mother tongues and regional languages suffer due to this. I feel it’s important to converse with kids in our mother language first. Common languages like Hindi and English are secondary. English anyhow kids will learn in school. I have an example to back this up! I had this south Indian family as my neighbors some time back. They had a beautiful little girl who only responded in broken Telugu. Her parents made it a point to speak to her only in their mother tongue. She faced issues when she joined school. Initially she had trouble understanding the teacher and other kids. But trust me in like two weeks she was speaking better Hindi than her parents! By the age of 5 she already knew three languages – Telugu, Hindi and English.

So all I am saying is that let the children get to know their culture, be close to their roots, have their own identities and be proud of their heritage. Once they are aware of their roots, it becomes more easier for them to adapt and shoe interest in new endevours!

Love:

Sepo

Analysis of the Movie-goers

For an average Indian, the recreation mode still consists of catching up on a movie starring your favorite stars with a big box of popcorn and cold drinks. Long before brunching and clubbing became popular, movies were the ultimate mode of entertainment. And it still continues to be so for the average middle class people. While going to the movies is a good enjoyable and relaxing program, some people you meet dead against making it a pleasing experience for you. They will do everything in their power to destroy this otherwise pleasant experience for you. And here’s a small list of how they do it:

1. While in a queue for tickets some people will literally ride up on your back like Betaal from Vikram aur Betaal. You move one inch and they will literally hog so as to ensure there is no breathing space between you two.

2. Some people don't wait until interval for the popcorn, they get it right in the start. Enter late in the hall, squash your feet while in the process to search for their seats and also sprinkle some popcorn and drops of cold-drink on you. And may I add ‘sorry’ is a word they seldom use.

3. Then come the people who fail to understand the concept of shortest path. If their seats are on one corner, they will forgo the shortest path and take the longest part, meanwhile squashing foots and manhandling the chairs and the people sitting on it. And mind you, no excuse me’s or sorry’s whatsoever!

4. Some people get way too comfortable on their seats and try to put their legs on the hand rest of the seat below. Unwashed socks never helped anyone. Especially in a closed air conditioned space.

5. Don't get me started on how annoying it is when you are just sitting in your seat, all relaxed and engrossed in the movie when out of the blue the person behind kicks your chair supposedly to adjust their legs. Don’t waste your time staring at them because you ain't gonna get any apologies.

6. The scenario of disturbance won’t be just from behind. There will be people sitting next to you and in front of you with their cellphones (busy with checking-in on Facebook), the brightness of which is blinding to the eyes accustomed to darkness in the hall.

7. Then amidst a serious scene someone's phone will ring with the loudest possible ringtone and they will match it with an even louder voice while answering. Because who keeps their phone on silent, right?

8. There are people who get toddlers to watch movies that are highly inappropriate for them. I have seen people bring kids to movies like hangover.

9. When you do the above mentioned, the kid will obviously get bored and start screaming or throwing tantrums hence disturbing the totally innocent audience.

10. And finally we have the couple who just booked the tickets so as they can make-out and create confusion in the minds of people surrounding them. People have a hard time deciding as to whether watch the movie or them!

LOVE:
SEPO

Intolerance Any One?

With the entire country going gaga over the statement made by Aamir, the last thing we need is another write-up about how Aamir is a jerk. Don't worry I am not going to talk about Aamir and Kiran here. I am here to share few instances with you and let you make some decisions based on them.

Just yesterday me and 2 of my friends went over to have some chaat in front of our office. Waiting patiently for our Chinese bhel out of nowhere a beggar kind of a mad man came abusing and blabbering while continuously staring at us. He kept doing this for almost like 5 minutes and suddenly angered by the smiling face of one of my friends, he shouted "Hass mat, honth kat dunga tere" (Don't laugh or I'll cut off your lips). In no mood to laugh now, the three of us were shell shocked and pretty scared. Suddenly he started to spit towards us and unable to take it anymore, I shouted at the top of my voice. Three of us ran hither and thither away from the mad man. Here i may point out that, near the Chaat wala, few guys from my company were also standing. And it being broad daylight and a place right in front of an IT giant, it was heavily crowded. Yet we three girls felt tormented and helpless. No one offered any sort of help, or shooed away the man. People did not even turn their faces or stop doing their chores. The chaat bhaiya finally attempted to scare him away ONLY when he started to come dangerously close to his stall. He only went away before any turning around towards us and abusing us to his heart's content.

Picture Courtesy - sploid.gizmodo.com

 Now I really don't want to sound like a whiny girl wanting people to rescue her. But don't you think under such circumstances at least someone from the crowd should have stood up? It that asking too much? At least those guys from my company, they could see the company tags around our neck..But no, they did not even bat an eyelash during the entire scene. This is really a scary scenario - people not standing up for each other. And it was not the first time I got to witness it. I had a somewhat similar incident some years back.

I was traveling in a shared auto rickshaw and a middle aged man was trying to be over-smart. His elbows kept poking me at all inappropriate places. First few times I thought it to be an accident (although I knew it wasn't) but when that jerk did not stop I decided to teach him a lesson. Little did I know that it would be me and not him learning all the lessons. The moment I confronted him he started shouting that all my accusations were false and that he was innocent. None of the 3 other people in the rickshaw spoke a word. Feeling that I was loosing the battle, I forced the rickshaw guy to pull off and demanded that I will not travel with that guy by my side. At this point I thought that the guy will get down or be forced to get down the rickshaw. But to my horror again no one said a word. And since I had proclaimed that I will not travel with the man and he refused to move, I was left with no other option but to move out myself and continue my journey to office by foot. I was so shattered to think that without any mistake of mine, I have to face the abuse - both from that man and everyone else in that rickshaw. That man got to sit and ride in the rickshaw while I had to walk in the scalding sun. How is it justice?

Now tell me, is the place we live in tolerant? Are we really tolerant? Do we need to change our outlook first and then throw dirt at Aamir and other?

Everything said, even after facing many issues and disappointments in this country, the thought of leaving this country never entered my mind.

LOVE:
SEPO

Of Meddlers and Nose Pokers

I really don’t understand what makes some people so interested in others’ affairs and activities. They leave no stone unturned to dig dirt, scheme and finally blabber what they know to who so ever will listen. Being a private person I like to keep my life a private affair and the presence of such meddlers irritates the hell out of me. Sometimes I just think on what drives these people into such extreme levels of interference. Is it boredom? Insecurity? Dearth of things-to-do? Guilty pleasure? Or maybe there lives are so boring that they find others’ more interesting.

The thing is some of these people hardly know where to draw the line. Ok, so I understand your desperate need to know stuff but must you just go on and on? Asking uncomfortable questions or at times giving unsolicited advice. I once lived with a girl who had a nose bigger than Cyrano de Bergerac (not literally). She just wanted to know everything – the first day she came, I was just done having talked with my friend and the first thing she says to me is, “your boyfriend?” I was like Oh-My-God, who the hell are you, my mom? And it did not stop there, she wanted to know the DOBs of all my family members and explain to me the importance of getting married at 25. A little cough or cold would result in her explaining me the Ayurvedic and antiseptic properties of turmeric. The girl did not even let me snot in peace.

Take the example of the much talked about AIB roast. Just about everyone has an opinion about it. Mr Perfectionist Aamir Khan thinks it’s highly inappropriate even though he has not seen it. His movie Delly Belly full of expletives and double meaning songs is apparently very appropriate. Talk about double standards and hipocracy!

Photo Courtesy - pinterest.com

Then there are people who compliment you. They seem genuine at first, but slowly their ulterior motive comes into picture. After the customary compliment they will dig deep around the outfit with questions like “where did you get it from?”, “how much did it cost?” Now call me a prude but I just hate this kind of intrusion. You like my dress, I get it. But where I got it from is none of your business and it is under no circumstances ok to ask me the cost. I would practically gag before asking someone the price of their clothes or accessories. And the lecture on overspending is again totally uncalled for. Include in it the inability to understand the quirky fashion sense and cracking of lame jokes at its expense. Like calling the awesome evergreen high waist pants as maternity pants. The very in-season pleated skirt as childhood frock and dismissing the funky jewellery pieces as absurd. I know everyone is entitled to an opinion but knowing when to shut up I feel is the ultimate sign of being wise.

I am also amazed at this another category of people – the ones who are a mixture of gossip mongers plus snoopers. They are an expert at twisting the information they know, spreading it like wild fire around them and not caring a bit about the consequences it has on the people involved.Such people usually have a very orthodox thinking and mind you they can be found everywhere. Small town, big town does not matter. If they see you with a person of opposite sex, they will garner all sorts of rubbish in their minds. They will add more spice into the story and start the character assassination. But the thing that bothers me the most is the behaviour they display in front of you. They don’t say what they know directly, instead they give you a look which says they know it all. They whisper things in their comrades’ ears and laugh their hearts out thinking people are oblivious to their stupid private jokes. Little do they realize that it jeopardizes the simple harmless totally unromantic relationship between two individuals. It’s the presence of such people that make it difficult for guys and girls to be friends. And that’s also the reason why I sometimes crave for a gay guy friend. Who I can have fun without bothering about any bullshit people talk about.

There are all these people and then there is Kamal Khan! Have you guys ever had a chance to read his tweets? They are hilarious. Period. But they also signify a streak of something. I really don’t know how to point a finger at it or what to call it, maybe immaturity but it’s eloquent. We all have self-esteem, his happens to be twice the distance from earth to moon. But sadly for him the measure of his stupidity is four times more. I am ok with the fact that he considers himself to be so awesome, we all can put up with delusions. But his overtly derogatory remarks about others is totally unacceptable especially since he himself is such a loser.

Photo Courtesy - bollywoodlife.com

 Finally I want to understand why there is a ban on the documentary of Nirbhaya. We all know what happened, we all have read about the contents of the video on various news feeds. What is the point of banning something that raises awareness? And why is Mr PM not intervening, he talks about making India a powerful nation. Is this a powerful nation? Which cannot handle a documentary that is based on nothing but the truth.

Knowing the fact that even after indulging in such a grueling crime the rapist has no regret what so ever makes us girls even more cautious. Now we know that there are some men out there who are even worse than animals.

P.S I just re read the post and I guess I am just going through the phase where you hate everyone around you. That is the only reason I can have to pick a bone with so many people. And on a different note – how awesome is team India performing in the world cup. So Cool

Love:
Sepo

Dear Anonymous

You are not really a blogger if you haven’t come across the Anonymous comments. Like ‘em, hate ‘em or filter ‘em but you cannot really ignore them. My relationship with anonymous commenters is as old as my blog. Initially they always invoked a sense of mystery. Some of them left really sweet and meaningful comments while others provided constructive criticism. Some tried playing hide n seek with comments like “guess who” and “I-Know-you-but-you-don’t-know-me”. 

 Off late anonymous comments received are mostly spam. They have a common format, first few lines will appreciate the post you have written and the next few lines will advertise various stuffs ranging from beauty products to MBA colleges. Over the years depending on the content of the anonymous comments I have either acknowledged or ignored them.

Few days back I received a comment on my post about streetfood of Jammu (see the picture above).  The comment was neither about what I had written in the post nor was it a spam. It just didn’t make any sense writing that down (or rather copy pasting it from Facebook) on my blog post which in no way bared any similarity or connection to it. I tried to brush it off as soon as I read it but it refused to go out of my mind. It stayed at the back of my mind constantly nagging me and taunting me. It felt like it was an encoded message which had to be decoded. I started to feel a restlessness akin to something you feel when you keep failing a stage of candy crush saga over and over that too just by a small margin.

And then suddenly just like that it hit me. There it was a very sexist comment hidden very subtly in a seemingly inconsequential message. What Mr/Ms Anonymous wanted to convey was that just like in the message my blogpost (written by a girl) got a lots of comments. Had it been written by a guy it would have been on the receiving end of ridicule or may be nothing at all. Now call me crazy or overdramatizing but I do have a talent for reading between the lines. I have an uncanny knack for such things and more often than not, they turn out to be true. My intuition and sixth sense were in celebrating mode having cracked this mystery comment. But I was far from any celebrations. Now I am really up for any kind of constructive criticism but Anonymous here seems to be a riddle-talker. Riddles are fine with me but what baffles me is that if you are really that bothered by something that it is forcing you to spend some time and post a comment on someone’s space, at least leave the comment right. Talk what’s really in your mind as it is you are taking support of an anonymous id.

I don’t think anyone who is into blogging chooses topics that will please people. It’s not freelancing or a newspaper article that you need to keep readers preference in mind. I for one chose and write about topics that either interest me or are of some significance in my life. I have never thought that “Oh My God, what will people think if I post this on my blog”. It is my space and I will post anything I want to. Moreover it is your distinct style of writing and the topics you choose on basis of which you will have a reader base. All blogs that I follow have something distinct about them. Each person has a different style of writing and different topics to talk about. I respect that and it is exactly this quality that makes blogging so interesting, diverse and fun.

Now attributing the popularity of my blog to the fact of me being a girl is a very Victorian assumption. I mean c’mon you gotta be really dumb to believe or accept an absurd theory like this. I do agree that being a girl there are some benefits but does not mean that everything comes easy. To explain with an example, while waiting at an autorickshaw stand, the richshaw-wala may give you preference over the guys by stopping in front of you but the ultimate decision of whether he will go to your specified destination or not will be decided by him. Your being a girl will not play any role in the scope of his decision. Similarly your gender may give you a platform but it’s your talent and hardwork which will take you forward. So please erase the assumption that states Girls have it easy.

And finally about this whole anonymous thing. Have you ever wondered why people resort to anonymity while posting stuff online? What drives them to hide their identity on normal webpages and discussion posts? According to a survey 40% of anonymous user fall in the age group of 19-29 years. The menace of anonymous users is so huge that many websites have stopped accepting anonymous comments. I feel it’s fair enough. You have an opinion and you want to talk about it too, so what is stopping you to disclose your identity. Say bad things, call a spade a spade but atleast be a man (or a woman) to come out of the closet and own up to your actions. Even if you are posting as anonymous it is not that difficult to figure out who you are and from where you are active with the help of numerous widgets and softwares available. These tools will definitely give you a clue. Atleast mine did.

I wonder what Mr/Ms Anonymous has to say to that.

P.S Also read me talk about anonymous commenter s here