Saturday, July 26, 2014

Ten types of Guys we all have met.

1. The Suspicious One 

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 He is the guy who always asks “kahan ho” (“where are you”) as soon as he calls, before even saying hello. While dating him it would be impossible to even talk to any male friends you have. He will always be aware of your whereabouts, your activity on social networking websites and your last seen of various apps. Any likes or comments from an opposite sex will lead to you giving detailed and unnecessary explanations. If he calls you and gets a busy tone, then god save you from all the confrontations. A pee break will also invite numerous assumptions and allegations. This type of guy usually has hell lot of friends spread across the town who keep tabs on you and call you “Bhabhi”. And together with suspicions this type of guy is also known to have strong possessiveness streak which lies on the margin of being extreme.

If you like to live on the edge you can definitely date this guy!

2. Love-y Dove-y 

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 This guy is just full of love. So much love that it’s enough for both of you. The amount of endearments he uses is enough to give you a long term diabetes. Diabetes plus a cringing feeling in the pit of your stomach when you hear Baby, babu, Shona, darling and stuff. The huge love makes the guy interested in every little detail of your life – from the food you are having, to the clothes you are buying. And not just your life, he is as involved in the life of people directly or indirectly connected with you. Your family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, pets etc. He never misses any birthdays or anniversaries or gifts and never fails to send good morning and good night messages. If you get angry with him, he will send you flowers and chocolates. And will just keep on sending them because the distance and no-talking will drive him crazy.
In a company of such a guy you start being less of a girl and more of a baby. Date this guy if you like to be pampered and taken care of.

3. High Maintenance 

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 There is only one thing this guy desires ~ Perfection. You have to be literally on your toes when with this dude. He expects you to look like a million bucks at times. Perfect dress, with matching shoes and accessories. Your trips to beauty parlours will increase by manifolds because there can be no bad hair days, or zits or hair at random places. Perfect table manners will be mandatory which means you better start learning to eat tandoori chicken with fork and knife. Your knowledge bank should be updated because you don’t want to appear dumb in front of him. The testing time is when he invites you to meet his family or friends because that’s where he has gained all the impeccable taste he so proudly displays. You have to be on your best behaviour especially with the Mom.

But there is one thing, you can always count of this guy to pick up the best gifts for you. Take you out on dates to the awesome-est places ever. Have links and contacts to all the major happenings in your town. And you will just love shopping with him, because he has just good taste. So on a whole it’s pretty adventurous and involves a lot of work. Avoid this guy if you are a home-bird kinda girl.

4. The Dude 

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 The irony is that there is nothing actually dude like about this guy. But there is nothing in the world that will make him think otherwise. He is the I-Know-It-All types and leaves no opportunity to display any kind of knowledge (right or wrong) on the topic of discussion. His favourite pastime is bragging about himself and narrating various stories on how cool he is. He has a huge inflated ego and is capable of throwing quite a tantrum if you hurt it in any way. There is a huge chance that dude works out, eats lots of chicken, drinks beers and just loves to watch (read:admire) himself while flexing his muscles. The dude basically is just in love with himself and has little of no space or emotions to love someone else. His life rotates around his own solar system. The guy however does attract a huge amount of female attention because he is a total eye-candy.

Date him if you can handle the pressure of being with someone who is so full of himself.

5. Daddy’s-Money-Flaunting-Guy

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 Yea, you got it flashy cars, beer cans in hand and different girl’s every time. He will woo all the girls he likes with expensive gifts and car rides just with the motive of sleeping with them. Mr Richie Rich firmly believes that money buys everything ~ including friends and women. He is one of the most popular guys you know and just about the entire town knows him. He has no regards for people, is rude, gets frequently involved in brawls and saved from the same by daddy’s money. There is every possibility that his dad is just as pissed off with him as other people. But his mommy thinks he is the nest thing ever. This guy will have lots of fun in life but in the end marry a rich girl of his parents’ choice.

6. Nerd 

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 There is something incredibly sexy about a guy who knows it all. Knowledge, black rimmed glasses and those brawny looks, this guy will just mess up your head. He is a great conservationist and his general knowledge is flawless. He may not be too fun loving or unpredictable but he makes up for it by being so in control at all times. He will give you free career advice and solve all your gadget problems. But yes, after some time life with him will become pretty monotonous.

7. The Shy one 

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 If you are a girl who likes to wear the pants in a relationship and this is the ideal match for you. It will take him an eternity just to get the courage to hold your hand. And he will blush if you hold his. So take things slow with this one. He is most likely not to look beyond you once he has made of his mind about you. Once that’s done he will finally open up his heart to you and you will be the world to him. This one is for the keeps.
(I know the picture doesn't really match but the little boy is so cute!!)

8. The Foodie 

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There are two mysteries in the world that baffle me – Bermuda triangle and guys who eat like pigs and don’t get fat. The foodie here just loves to eat and feed others. Loves to try new places and cuisines. So most of your dates will be centred on exquisite food and drinks. So your diets and plans will all go out of the window for this one. Since most often than not a foodie loves to cook, he is sure to pamper his girl with breakfast in bed and home cooked elaborate meals. I dare you to try saying no to that! Well, you can pretty much forget to keep a check on yourself while eating with him. After a few months, while he just stays awesome and loving, you start to pile-up on kilos’. No sooner you will require a major wardrobe revamp.

That said, it is never a good idea to ditch a guy who can cook, so try and adjust with this fella by eating in small portions and not going overboard. And never ever order two desserts, share it.

9. Two Timing One 

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 This one vouches for “Variety is Spice”. He likes to play with fire and date more than one girl simultaneously. The guy is literally a juggling and inspite of all the wrath we have for him should be appreciated for his impeccable skills. I have had the fortune or misfortune of knowing a guy who dated two sisters. I mean just think about it, living in the same roof, talking to the same guy the sisters were unaware that they share not just a room and clothes but also a boyfriend. This dare-devil of a guy has all the bad boy traits that we girls just love. So you will just love to hate this guy. The love will make your eye hazy and you will refuse to act on the tell-tale suspicious signs like multiple sims, phone lock, too many changes in plans, not letting you meet friends etc.

This guy is just looking for some fun and sticking up with means just doesn’t make any sense. But a friend of mine did once date a guy like this just to teach him a lesson. The lesson was not learned and things turned up pretty messy. This guy is like dasheri mango, you wanna have it so bad, even though you know you will get dirty. You just can’t fight the temptation so you give in.

10. Touchy feely

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 This guy will leave no stone unturned to grab an opportunity to touch. Suggestively. But in a seemingly innocent way. To lead you through a door, he will hold you by the waist. While passing some stuff he will graze your hands and when sitting together his biceps will touch the most inappropriate places. If not for the touching while talking with you his eyes will rarely be meeting yours. And don’t be surprized if mid conversation he suddenly drops his jaws to ogle at a hottie passing by. He will always take you out to shady places like movie theatres, less frequented restaurants, parks, lakes all the places where, you know he can do stuff. He will lie, beg, borrow, steal, profess his love for you…basically anything just anything to get what is wants.

Under all situations and circumstances just try and stay away from this kinda guy. He will bring you nothing but trouble.

Just to clear some things up, the above post has just been written just for some fun. My intent was to laugh and make others laugh. It should not be taken too seriously but enjoyed. And please don’t think I am biased towards men, I have already started formulating a list for girls as well. So stay tuned.