Adulting with Adult Acne

I try and think back to a time when I had clear baby skin. Smooth and supple. Without the cruel mark-ations left by years of Acne’s war against my skin. Since I grew up in a pre-smart phone generation, I don’t have many pictures to ponder and admire my pre-pimple life. Life. Yes. Having acne changes you as a person. It affects every aspect of your being. Your personal and professional life. You become more self-conscious and your confidence will hit an all-time low. You will get tired of people asking questions about why you have pimples. Ha, as if you the answer to that question. And you will get more tired of people offering unsolicited advices especially the garelu nuske.

After 16 years of continuous struggle with acne, I can proudly say that I have tried everything under the sun. So, I will start chronologically because aap chronology samajeye. Pimples are natural at the time of puberty and its very natural to treat them as naturally as possible at this stage. So, that’s where the first mistake was made. Every skin issue is different and can arise from various reasons. It is very important to take a dermatological opinion before irritating the hell out of your skin with neem ke patte. I had a lot of Safi and way lot of fullers' earth (multani mitti), masoor daal, neem (of course) face packs. The result of all this you ask? Well, let me just say that people who did not know my name in college conveniently addressed me as the-thin-girl-with-a-lot-of-pimples-on-her-face.

After college I shifted to Mumbai and my skin just couldn’t behave itself. I had a really bad spout of not just pimples now but open pores, blackheads, shiny oily skin and oh nasty painful oozing pustules. And not only on my face but back (bye-bye deep necks) and chest too. I had trouble sleeping because ouch these shitty things hurt like hell. I had trouble looking in the mirror. I had trouble clicking pictures (and I love taking pictures). I had trouble meeting new people. I had trouble taking baths because no matter how careful I was, one or two pimples always got burst. Meanwhile I went a little cray cray doing all sorts of self-medications like baking soda, toothpaste etc etc. Since my skin was oily, I though keeping it dry would simply just cure everything. It was only recently I came to know that over drying leads to more oil production and hence more pimply babies. Shucks. I generally slept in these concoctions and would naively believe I will wake up with clean and clear skin.

Me. Every-night back then

At this point of time I also took all advices given to me very seriously. So, when someone suggested to apply my saliva just after waking up till it dries, I did it. When an aunty randomly stopped me in a supermarket and told me to wash my face with a mixture of dried orange peel and nigella seeds – I quickly called up with parents and told them to do the needful. They kept this concoction ready in bottles for me to take back (Just remembered, I still have a few left :D). 

When situation became out of control – and by this, I mean less face and more pimples, I finally decided to see a doctor. Why the delay you ask? Because somehow with everyone around me saying “it gets better with age” - I started to believe this blatant lie too. May I add - I was well around my mid-twenties by this time. The doctor immediately put me on oral retinoid treatment. I was skeptical considering the side-effects but decided to go for it, nevertheless. Apart from the obvious side-effects (duly informed by the doctor) the medications made my skin super-duper sensitive. I was supposed to cover myself completely in the sun or else I would look like a tomato. Plus, my skin would literally peel so no waxing for like 6 months or so. Which when I think back was good only – try going to a parlor with pimples on your face and you will understand what I mean. Aap yeh karva lo clear ho jayega, aap wo khareed lo sab sahi ho jayega. Anyways, the medication did work, my skin cleared up and bought a smile to my face. Now people were all like “Wow, where are the pimples?” 

The in-progress picture

Oops celebrated too soon. Acne was back and with vengeance. It was also around the same time I noticed a lot of hair growth on my face. Now whether a side-effect of medicines or hormonal issues who knows. Just what I needed - as if pimples were not enough. Phew. This time I took the approach of internal healing. After-all what goes inside your body will reflect outside. So stopped salty, oily food. Cut-out dairy. Lots of water, salads, detox waters and the face packs were back too. Thankfully this time, there were a lot of editing tools available to hide the imperfections. My darling friend, the cool gal S (previously mentioned here) helped and still helps me choose the best pictures for uploading. All I have to do is send a bunch of pictures and she replies with the best one – editing at proper places. Not just removing marks and blemishes but if required she adds up a dash of lipstick or blush as well (attaching exhibits of her talent below). 

Uneven skin tone? No Problem

Pimple se No-Pimple

The dietary restrictions failed to show up any results, and with my shaadi less than a year ahead - it was time for a new doctor. This one was more into cosmetic procedures. No eating medicines but a lot of expensive Micellar waters, Antirougeurs cremes and so on. She also suggested laser treatment and chemical peels and I (desperate for results) and with my never-say-never attitude went for it. So, I undertook these laser treatment sittings which pricked my skin and pinched my pockets. Laser was still better but Chemical peel was extremely painful, and I could only tolerate one. Result as expected was good and I was pimple free on my D-Day. Although on my reception day, the makeup girl did remark “aap toh bahut hairy ho” while applying base-crème to my face, with my sister-in-law sitting right next to me.

But like all good things, my clear skin days did come to an end.

Next bout of acne was all over my jawline and chin which indicated hormonal issues. This time it was gynecologist visits which opened another can of worms. Cut to this day – the struggle continues. Now pimples don’t surprise or disappoint me. I have accepted them as a part of my life and face. I also don’t give much though before uploading pictures now. Ain’t no pimple gonna hurt anyone. Though over the years I now have some knowledge about what works for my skin and what doesn’t. I do basic cleansing, cleaning and hope for the best. My bouts somehow also match timings with important events like marriages, vacations, people visiting etc. Thankfully we now have makeup products specifically for sensitive acne prone skin, so that helps. People however continue to ask why I have pimples and even after 16 years I have no answers.

Le Sigh. 

Love:
Sepo

Original Is Always Worth More Than The Copy

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, said Oscar Wilde once. But I discovered it only recently that all forms of imitation may not always make you feel flattered. It can also cause undefined amount of anger. To cut the story short I found someone unashamedly copying contents from my blogs. Well not just contents actually, the entire snippets – the title, pasting pictures where I do, copying the way I end my posts. And if this was not enough even copied the “Why Rendezvous” section from my blog – where I have shared a sweet little tale about why I named my blog to what it is. The most irritating part about the whole thing was that the person in question was so foolish that whatever little she tried to change from my write-ups made absolutely no sense at all. She just randomly changed South to North, Khushwant Singh to Robin Sharma and books to ice-creams without using her pea-sized brain to re-read and laugh at the catastrophe she was calling a blog!

The very first line was a give-away.

Entire paragraph copied. Also the ending salutation.

How I found out about it you ask? Well, the twist to the story is that I actually know the girl behind this crime. She was a random acquaintance from my paying guest days in Mumbai. So, she happened to like a picture of mine in Instagram. I just checked her profile and saw a BlogSpot link in her bio (just like I have in mine, may I add). Now since I too write, I am always curious to read stuff from other people. So I clicked on that link, little knowing that it would soon cost me my sleep for the night. The very first thing I read was a line written by me, I had a déjà vu but ignored it. Then I kept reading and could hardly believe what was happening. Post after post just mindless copies for my write-ups. She had been at it since almost 6 months now. My labor of those precious moments I steal out of my office hours and lazy hours. My sweat and blood. My thoughts. My experiences. My personal beliefs. My favorites. My little joys. Anecdotes about my parents and friends. Had she been in front of me, I would surely have punched her in the nose like those “hit-me” toys.

MY FIRST INTERVIEW. Why would someone copy this?

Really? Copying someones' personal stuff and making it your own.

Now this one really made me laugh. My manger was from South, hence I have an added a relevant accent detail. Copycat changed South to North and thought that's that. Common Sense be dammed Slow claps!!

I spent the next 2 hours finding her on every social networking website ever created and leaving threatening and abusive messages. Also left comments on her posts my posts which had comments like "wow, beautifully written" "love the way you express yourself" and she had the gall to reply "Thank you" to these comments. These comments made my temper sour to the ultimate high. I dedicated the next few minutes reading about my rights in this circumstance and the list of actions I could take against her. Did a quick check on the availability of lawyers in the immediate family or friends. Damn why do all Kashmiri's have to be engineers!!

This was my erstwhile impression of Khushwant Singh, I was actually explaining how my impression of him changed. Copycat thought changing the name of the author will do all the magic.Little did she realize that she is implying Robin Sharma to be Tharki.

Apart from my legal action, she is also applicable to a potential legal action by Robin Sharma :D

Somewhere in the wee hours of morning I got a message from her apologizing and stating that she was learning web designing and using a blog content just to learn. I have never heard such a truck load of bullshit in one sentence. With so many technologies and platforms to learn courses ---she chooses BlogSpot. I mean even bloggers don’t choose BlogSpot these days. She also mentioned that she has not shared it with anyone. Oh. Okay. So you post something online. Host it on a URL. Accept and acknowledge comments. Giving no credit to the owner of the content. And you call it not sharing! The irony of all ironies is that this Thief is in IT, working as a Developer. Every decent MNC mandates courses on IT security that discourage and highlight repercussions of copying contents from websites, using pictures without credit/permissions, intellectual thefts and what not. This is such a serious concern and yet educated people indulge in such shameful acts.

I started blogging in 2009. It was always about my personal thoughts, nothing elaborate nothing special. I hardly shared its existence with anyone. It was only recently I warmed up to the idea of sharing it with an audience and then something like this happens. Since I keep sharing my personal pictures on the blog, I did have a few privacy settings done long back. Like disabling right click, Ctrl+C, inclusion of creative commons license. But sadly, the copy disabling function only works for the web version of the blog. And Ms. Copycat had very conveniently overlooked the license banner. But then, when you choose to share something online, you have to be thick skinned and agree that these things are unavoidable. However, it is also very important to be aware of your rights and the legal action you can take against these miscreants.

I am not sure if it exists already, but I very strongly feel that we need to introduce a course on social media etiquette at school level. People need to be aware and know the different between right and wrong.

Love:
Sepo

P.S I really want the Copycat to read this.
PPS All the grammatical mistakes and typos in Screenshots is CopyCat's doing and not mine.

Social Media Etiquettes

When we were young, we were taught manners and etiquette. To say sorry, pleases and thank yous wherever required. I studied in a catholic school, where we started our day with moral science classes. They were and have been instrumental in building up a conscious in me. Our sisters and teachers instilled in us the belief and love for god. The advantages of discipline. The power of forgiveness, helping the needy, the value of cleanliness and most importantly respect towards all. Even when venturing into the professional life, we were given training on how to dress formally, how to communicate with clients, how to negotiate deals, the art of subtle email writings, perfect table manners and personal hygiene. For everything thing we do and any venture that we step onto, there is a code of conduct. A set of do’s and dont's that need to be followed. After all that’s the thing which sets up apart from animals.

But digitization has come up with such a bang that we had literally no time to prepare for how to present ourselves when online. With twitter and Instagram we can just follow anybody with a click. Gain an insight into their lives or whatever they choose to share online. There are many other mediums which give us an opportunity to share across our views with amongst a humongous audience. But do we leverage the benefit of this correctly? Now that’s a very debatable question. I have spent an extreme amount of time last year to analyze how people react and comment on various platforms. My focus was on comments and discussion forums on popular websites like twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Quora and of course Facebook. My observations from the entire case study was shocking, cringe-worthy, appalling and sometimes all the three.

So let’s dig a little deeper. Now we all have some fascination with film stars, cricketers and people in entertainment field. And we now have a medium to feel connected with whosoever we like. But some people choose this medium to showcase their crassness. The kind of comments some of them leave will make anyone flinch in disgust. The area of comments will vary from insensitive remarks to vulgar comments of sexual nature to making fun of body parts to moral policing or simply trolling. I fail to understand the pleasure people drive from this. Does it somehow make them feel powerful? Does belittling someone feel good? Is it just for the sake of doing it? Or is it fearlessness about the fact that the opponent is sitting miles away and hence harmless.

I understand we cannot love/like everyone and neither can be always agree with someone else’s point of view. But we can ignore or have a healthy debate. It can get heated but under no circumstance should it come to such an extent that you have to badmouth, abuse and bring just about anyone from mothers, sisters, relatives and even Gods into your fights. Which I must point are stupid to begin with. Now topics which I have observed to be getting into these ugly comment zones are – Hindu/Muslim, Kashmiri Muslims Vs The Rest of India (whom they funnily refer to as Biharis), BJP Vs Congress, Modiji Lovers (popularly known as Bhakts on Quora) Vs Non Modiji Lovers (who call themselves secular), North Indians Vs South Indians (The hate portrayed here by some is unbelievable), Feminists Vs Men-who-hate-them and also Salman Khan fans Vs Shahrukh Khan fans (I kid you. Not). There are huge threads of comments on posts over these topics. And by huge I mean HUGE (like Big Data huge). Comment-reply-another reply-abuse-abuse-MyReligionIsBetterThanYours-Reply-Comment-Abuse-AndItGoesOn….

Talking about myself, I have carefully spaced myself out from the spider web that’s posts like these. Once I left a comment on a discussion forum about Kashmir. It was more of my personal feeling and expression but within minutes I received a notification that someone had replied to it. So I open a very rude, unnecessary, attacking and totally uncalled-for comment. Now I could feel my blood bubbling with anger, cheeks burning with rage. So I quickly opening my MS Word and started typing my answer back furiously (MS Word because anger can cause some serious spelling and grammar mishaps!). Satisfied with my reply after proof reading I was just about to copy-paste when a thought crossed my mind. This man who has commented on my post unwarranted without any provocation will definitely do it again after I reciprocate. In-fact I was serving him with exactly what he wanted. Now he may not have a life or anything better to do but I sure did. It was almost 7 and I had dinner to prepare. So I did the unthinkable. I deleted what I had posted originally hence giving myself the much needed closure. Now many might call me a coward but I’d say - anything for peace man! I have no patience or time for this sh** in life. But alas, there are few very like me for others this mind throbbing scenario brings some kind of adrenaline rush.

Last year also brought about this phenomena of trolls & memes. Social media enthusiasts spent a major amount of their time tagging each other in funny relatable memes. As much as I love laughing over the cleaver ones, I cannot ignore the fact that some of them tend towards being highly insensitive. Very recently people has a gala time laughing and sharing funny-face-pictures of Junior Ambani. But it turns out poor guy is suffering from sinusitis and borderline asthma, hence was breathless during his speech.

Internet is a fabulous place. The social networking platforms are great when used in the right manner. But by being abusive, bullying, stalking, bad mouthing and talking nonsense, more than the other person you are harming yourself. Your credibility and your set of values are at stake.It just goes on to say that your opinion is not strong enough to make a point and hence you resort to the dirty tactics. Moreover you are making the entire experience of unwinding and browsing for a person who has had a long day (or starting his day sitting on commode) very very sour.

Now that I have spoken to my hearts content, I present to you some proofs that I collected along. After a lot of brainstorming and censoring presenting the few that made the cut. Please brace yourself for some hardcore abuses.

 

Le Sigh!
Sepo

The Year It Was!

Like all good things, this year too is just about to come to an end. With the year-end, we have also come to this blog's 7th birthday! In terms of content this year has been the most dismal for the blog. I have written very few posts, I mean like I can literally count them on my fingers. I have been busier, been without a laptop, without an internet connection and still managed to churn out post after post for my beloved blog. But this time despite no such challenges there was no fire to write for months altogether.

When I look back I can see multiple reasons that amounted to this very dry spell on Rendezvous. Firstly, I started year 2016 on a very low note. I used to consider myself extremely self-sufficient but early months of 2016 really showed me what loneliness could do to you. I was suddenly left alone in a very unfamiliar zone and I had no cushion to fall back on. There was no one to talk to or share. Of course, friends were just a phone call away but everyone was busy in their own lives. Then there was this immense work pressure at office for few months which was good for loneliness but drained out all creative energies I might have had.

To add to this I faced rejections about my writing and writing style consecutively and that too in the most unprofessional way possible. First happened last year so that’s old news. The latest one affected me more because the opportunity arrived through a friend. Now this person with whom I was working was all praises for my work, snippets of which he had seen and read on my blog. His expectations from me were very different from my writing style but I am always up for any challenge. His initial talks and discussions with me gave me an idea about his passion towards the ecommerce site he was planning to open. After some discussions I agreed to work for the peanuts (in the name of monetary remuneration) he was offering.

I started to received loads of work from him. This did not involve just writing but major research, googling, picture hunting, burning midnight oil and what not! And he was huge on deadlines, before even assigning the work he made sure to let me know the delivery date. Believe it or not I once literally slogged myself and did not sleep an entire night to complete the work assigned. I have never sacrificed my sleep for anything! Not my board exams, not even any of my engineering exams (however underprepared I must have been), not for any lover, not even during my sisters' wedding!

Well after this all nighter, I received a list of changes that Mr Wannabe Perfectionist wanted me to incorporate. And my friends, that was the last I heard of him. I mean from messaging me, calling me and emailing me 10 times a day, he just vanished away in reallly thin air! I assumed him to be busy or something and decided to take a chill pill. After a couple of weeks while chatting with the common friend I came to know that Mr Wannabe was not too happy about my writing skills and I did not match up to a picture he had in mind. So, he had decided to move ahead (without letting me know, of course). He also happened to mention to my friend about how he once asked for a quick result and I stayed up all night completing it. He apparently found it very amusing. On the other hand, I was far from being amused. But a lady as I am, I only swore under my breath and took it in my stride.

But this was highest level of unprofessionalism I have ever encountered, I mean I know I ain't no Margaret Mitchell but just at least let me know that you are not digging my writing skills, suddenly cutting all ties is not a solution! No one expects this kind of behavior from an aspiring entrepreneur. Last I heard his endeavor is not going all that great and I am not surprised about it!

Moving on, these episodes of my rejections somehow had a very negative impact on me. I lost the confidence on my writing skills and drowned my sorrows in TV series, Web series and autobiographies of Padma Laxmi and her ex Mr Salman Rushdie. But the more I read, more I started to miss writing. I always had this dream of writing for someone - a website, any magazine, any start up, mostly just anything. Although I have received many opportunities for the same in the last 2 years, it has somehow always left me incomplete. With the excitement and efforts that I put in during writing, the pain of rejection for me has double the impact. So, for the sake of my self-respect, I have taken a decision to be content with only writing for my blog. This blog has stood by me in my happiest moments as well as in my lowest of low moments.

So here’s to new beginnings, smarter decisions and no more letting people taking me for a ride! Happy 7th Birthday to Rendezvous and a very Happy Near Year to all of you!

Love:
Sepo!

Kashmir - From My Perspective

"Isn’t that a terrorist place?"
That’s usually the first sentence people utter when they hear I am from Jammu & Kashmir. And with the recent events that happened in the valley the amount of curiosity and questions increased by manifolds. Needless to say, the upfront support of a terrorist with such grandeur shocked people. Now in general very few people in India are acquainted or interested in what actually is the issue in Kashmir. Most of them have a haphazard view of the situation, typically from what they gauge through tit-bits of news. The news channels broadcast their breaking news on how people are turning in throngs for the funeral of a terrorist, how they are defying curfews to step out and protest for “Azadi”.

Since most people conceive Jammu and Kashmir as one entity, they automatically assume that my hometown is in dire consequences. I then have to give them a quick lesson in geography and explain that Jammu and Kashmir are situated at least 320 Km apart from each other. Kashmir has Muslims living in majority while Jammu is mostly inhabited by Hindus. They also doubtfully ask me whether I too support terrorists or have a soft spot for Pakistan. It is these type of questions that literally drive me mad with rage. My people and my community have suffered and are still suffering the brunt of the militancy that seems to have been made a law in Kashmir. And even a small doubt of being a perpetrator of this bullshit when actually we are the victims seems like a very unfair assumption to me.

I try my best to explain people that how in late eighties and early nighties there was a genocide like situation in Kashmir. During this time many Hindu’s were killed, raped and threatened. Thousands of Kashmiri Hindu families fled from Kashmir leaving behind their homes, jobs, farms, memories and numerous other little things. People have already lost interest by the time I reach to this point. But I get satisfied assuming that at least I have formulated a difference between Kashmiri Muslims and Kashmiri Hindus in their minds

The state of Jammu and Kashmir constitutes of Jammu, Kashmir, Ladakh and several other small districts. The “azadi “propaganda that is in full swing is only concerted in Kashmir. The people of Jammu, Ladakh and other small places like Udhampur, Kishtawar, kathua etc are happy and proud to be associated with India. The hatred people of Kashmir carry for India and Indians has baffled me always. And it has not started in recent times. Contrary to what people believe or might force you to believe this has always been the case. Even before 90s, even before army (who supposedly commits atrocities on the people there) ever entered Kashmir. Though I have literally grown up hearing stories about prejudice against Hindu’s by elders, what solidified my belief was an interview I read of Mr. Salman Rushdie. In the interview Salman talks about the time his family visited Kashmir when he was 12, roughly around 1959-1960. Assumed to be a Hindu family they were denied food by the locals, but after getting to know that they are in fact Muslims they were attended with utmost hospitality. The entire interview can be found here.

What’s changed now is the fact that initially it was all a very hushed up affair and discussed only behind closed doors. But now it’s all in the open or rather on the internet. India and Indians are openly bad mouthed and blatant support and love for Pakistan is shown on Instagram and Facebook. I sometimes wonder will all Kashmiri Muslims holding important positions in India, students, business men (holding shops of Kashmiri handicrafts all across India) agree to leave India and settle in Pakistan instead, if they achieve their so called goal of attaining “azadi”
.

Picture Courtesy - DNA

What baffles me is that all the separatist leaders hardly give two hoots about things like safety of people – they urge them to protest and throw stones at security officials even when curfew has been imposed. So that they can later make an issue of usage of pellet guns by security officials. They give orders for strikes and bandhs without considering the consequences of the same. They encourage students to pick up arms instead of books. And that is where the main issue of unrest in Kashmir lies – uneducated and unemployed youth. Those who studied did so mostly outside Kashmir (ironically in parts of India, from they want freedom from!) many work across India and abroad, away from all the tension and chaos focusing on their futures and success. But the youth left behind is the one suffering and failing to understand that throwing stones, shouting slogans, holding guns and even achieving the so called “azadi” is not going to help them. Schools and colleges remain closed, many have been burned down! But instead of encouraging children to study people there are using them to fuel the agitations. Here if I may quote an example of Kashmiri Pandits who had to shift base to camps after exodus in 90s. The first and the foremost thing every family however poor at that time did was to arrange and look for schools and colleges so that education of their children does not suffer. It is this crucial step that has helped them to find a strong foothold and rise again against all the odds.

Picture Courtesy - http://isssp.in/return-of-kashmiri-pandits-promises-and-uncertainties/

I fail to understand the extent of brain-wash the people have been subjected to. How can they not see that violence and stone throwing is not doing any one any good. I remember watching an interview few days back when stone pelters were out on the streets. A kid hardly 14 or 15 was being asked by reporters on whether he wants an independent state or wants to go with Pakistan. He looked clueless and simply said “wo sab toh nhi pta, hume bola gya hai ki patthar maarne se azaadi mil jayegi”, “I don’t know all that, I have been told that by throwing stone I will get freedom”. Most of the common people there have no idea about the political aspects of the violence. They want to lead a peaceful life.

The state of Kashmir is going from bad to worse. There is no tourism whatsoever, people just don’t want to take a risk of visiting Kashmir given the unpredictable situation there. This has badly hit the people whose livelihood directly depends on the tourist flow in the valley. Houseboats, gardens, shikara’s, souvenir shops all remain deserted. Schools and colleges continue to remain closed for 3 days out of 5. Future of people especially students continues to remain bleak. The current situation however seems to approach a state of normality. Many people are attributing it to the recent demonetization move by our PM. In the dearth of 500/1000 notes, the funding for keeping up the violence alive and stone pelters on the road is proving difficult for the anti-social elements.

Here’s hoping for a better future and a concrete solution for Kashmir. The beautiful valley has suffered a lot. It’s overwhelming beauty needs to be devoured and enjoyed.


Love:
Sepo!

The Wrath of the Twitterati

Gone are the days of long romantic letters, informative columns and posts. These days 140 characters rule. You got something to say? You tweet. You got anger to vent? You tweet. You gotta wish someone? You tweet. You like something? You retweet. Twitter had never been so in rage like it is now. Social media definitely has its pros but at the same time its cons cannot be ignored or downplayed.

Everyone has something to say or share on the platform, which is a good thing. You can share across your views and at the same time come to know others point of view. It also gives you a chance to closely follow people you admire. While it is great for celebs to be closely associated with their admirers, it is also a known fact that leering amongst the crowd are haters and trouble makers. Some of them protectively covered under the identity of Anonymous. The kind of comments some of these people leave on popular people’s tweets and pictures will make you cringe.

Being famous has its repercussions. Newspapers were full of how Abhishek Bachan reverted to an insensitive user who targeted his daughter. The senior Bachan was apparently blamed for traffic jams outside his bungalow. Neha Dhupia faced protests outside her home and death threats when she dared to blame the reigning government for monsoon troubles in Mumbai. Rishi Kapoor who was recently called the C word is known to shame people who don’t follow proper code of conduct. Then there are celebs who get trolled for their misinformed tweets. Our desi superhero Hritik Roshan was victimized for his white/blue/black dress tweet and the “tribal” militant attack in Manipur. Anushka Sharma was taken for a class for misspelling Mr Kalam’s name. Sometime back not so popular but still very cute shararaat fame Shruti Seth was on a receiving end of a lot of bullshit from people. She made the mistake of sharing her affront opinion about the selfiewithdaughter campaign by Modi ji.

Now we have to understand that while we may absolutely love butter chicken, there are millions of people all around the world who would find it to be too spicy, overcooked or messy. That does not mean that we go on to attack those people. What works for them might be entirely repulsive to us. Same way while a group of us might be inclined towards one political party and its initiatives others may not agree to it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, however biased it may be. What we can to is engage in a healthy debate on why you disagree or may highlight the benefits of the said initiate for that person to see. But lounging a personal attack, name calling, abusing and mud throwing just makes you a human looking animal. Just because social media allows you to post doesn’t mean that you forget all filter and etiquette involved in it.

What really interested me to Shruti’s case was the open letter she wrote just after the incident. Now open letters are the new fad. These days people write open letters all the time and to just about everybody. They write them to Politicians, film stars, cricketers or all the three together. Who can forget the famous open letter Shenaz Treasurywala wrote to Shahrukh, Modi ji, Salman, Sachin Tendulkar and the likes. But Shruti’s letter was different. It was a very honest and easily the most sensible stuff I had read on the internet in a really long time. Plus the points raised in her letter are pretty valid. How does abusing a women (however wrong you may feel she is) make you a better citizen? The irony is that people did not even stop the hatred after her letter. All the websites that posted her letter has comments flipping mud all over her and her Muslim husband.

And it’s not just about stars or Shruti. The advent of social media has made a commenter out of everyone, which is not at all a bad thing as long as you exercise proper conduct. My personal vendetta is also with people effectively working under the mask of anonymous. I have locked horns with many over the last few years.Browse through any video on YouTube and check the comments. You will be taken aback by the similarity in the content. The fellow commenters start by their likes or dislikes, they come to a point of disagreement and then it starts. Either they will go racist or the ever famous India Vs Pakistan. Then comes the swearing which will make even the most abusing person to run for covers. What baffles me the most is the fact that instead of bad mouthing the person involved, all indulge in abusing their mothers and sisters! Why just why???

This scenario reminds me of a quote from my favorite novel which goes like:
“Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.”

― Khaled Hosseini (A thousand Splendid Suns)

Everything said, I must say that online info sharing has its own set of benefits. It boosts your general knowledge. From Kalam Sir’s death to the porn ban and its revocation. All info is available simultaneously on Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp or Instagram. Hash tags can be easily checked out to get the entire thread of info you need for details. Imagine shopping online and spotting a feedback for the product you are intending to buy. A positive or negative review definitely affects your course of action.A word of caution though, with the speed that things are getting banned now-a-days, it would be a good idea to exercise some precaution. You never know what might just get banned next…






LOVE
SEPO

Tjori – Indian To The Core

There are no two ways about the fact that online shopping is a huge success. Garments, electronics, home decor, shoes - there is nothing that people are not buying online. While most of stuff available on various websites is more or else the same, what makes them different is the way they market themselves, the offers they provide and how timely they deliver. Our today’s covered startup - Tjori differs not only in style of operation but also in the stuff they offer. Coming from online shopaholic you have to trust me when I say that Tjori is like a breath of fresh air. It speaks and pours Indian-ness to the core. It’s like love at first click!

I must say that they have chosen their name very aptly because shopping at Tjori is seriously like a treasure hunt. They have sarees, suits and kurti’s in all popular Indian weaves like khadi, cotton, chanderi, raw silk, bagalpuri silk. Not just material, they have specialities from all across India. From kashmiri and Dogri suits to Chennai sarees. Leather bags to kolapuri chappals. Kullu boots to beautiful hand painted wedges. To complement each outfit they have beautiful traditional/tribal jewellery. Not just retail, they have beautiful paintings and home decors. And that’s not all, food is also a part of the trade. They offer healthy organic food, bakery items and traditional Indian utensils as well.

We had a chat with Mansi Gupta, the brain behind this awesomeness. Here’s what she had to say to our very many questions..

1. Tell us about inception of Tjori?

The concept of Tjori stroke my mind when I was studying in Wharton Business School especially when I understood the demand hand-crafted products had outside India. During my stay at Wharton, we were taken to Morocco on a trip and that is where I understood that the hand-crafted products were actually expensive by the time they reached the end consumers.

It was may due to the traditional value chain. But, I wanted to eliminate all those extra money and make sure that handcrafted products should reach people easily and also at lesser prices. Also, since childhood, I was passionate about hand-made items. So, Tjori was started as a platform to make that Indian hand-crafted products reached USA without any hurdles and later on as we grew, our focus grew too from just India to across the globe.

2. With so many online shopping portals, what is that thing which separates Tjori from others?

Well, Tjori is a unique shopping experience which cannot be found anywhere else. We have the best premium handmade products than others do. Also, we have a unique sales model where we actually sell items for just 15 days. We bring in a product and display it on our website for 15 days what we also call as event. The event runs for 15 days and people can buy during this period. But, once the 15 days get over, we take down the product. It's a kind of flash sales, we may think. This actually creates an urge of buying something new and unique and people have different items every time.

3. We have observed that you mostly have traditional and ethnic weaves, any special reason behind that?

Well! Most of the items that we showcase could be from any ethnicity but the qualifier for a product to be showcased is the fact that it has to be unique, high on design and not easily accessible. It has to be unique enough in terms of its design, origin or the story that goes behind the making, inspiration for the collection et al.

4. What features do you employ to achieve customer delight?

Customers are the centre point of our value system. We do anything possible to ensure that they are happy and satisfied. We believe in customer delight from the moment they come on the website.

5. Finally where do you see Tjori five years from now?

Well, we want to be the Number 1 in the industry providing our customers and members more offer and growing the ladder of success and winning more and more hearts every single day.

I are really proud of Mansi and her team for bringing up forgotten Indian weaves and traditional apparels mainstream. In a time when everyone is running after similar and safer options, they have embraced an untreaded path. Wishing them all the very best. Please check their www.tjori.com to feel that mitti ki khushboo.

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