Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Girl Next Door

"If you want a girl next door, well then go next door" - Some intelligent woman

The inclusion of the fantastic quote above was a deliberate attempt to set the ground rules on how I neither endorse nor believe in the concept of the girl-next-door. A series of events let me to analyze this term and the meaning behind it. The meaning is nothing but what fits in to your average matrimonial ad - simple, homely, fair and educated.

When you reach your 20s, you suddenly realize that while you were busy with career and stuff a huge change has come across the dating scenario. The guys who always had the hots for smart, well dressed and sexy girls will change there priorities towards a "simple" girl. But mind you the flirting and ogling will continue as always. But talk of a serious relationship that will always be with a simple girl, the one you can take home to your parents and most importantly the one who will stay under your control.

It started with a friendly discussion with one of my male colleague. He wanted me to help him hook up with a girl. So far so good. I happened to mention a good friend of mine who is smart, intelligent, always well turned out, fashionable and extremely helpful and sweet by nature. But the moment I mentioned her name my collegue was like "oh no, not her". "She is not of my level and I would always have to protect her from others prying eyes". "Moreover I want a simple girl".

His words were simple but their impact was huge. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became. The simple girl apart from being simple provides you the opportunity to be the boss and have the upper hand. This got me into thinking on What is about smart well dressed girls that intimidates men?

I think the simple girl funda has been popularized by the movies. Right from the Suman of Maine Pyaar Kiya to Bella of Twilight. The quintessential simple girl has always topped the charts. The smarty pants girl is dateable but she has an expiry date. Take the example of the very recent movie Cocktail. The movie was very modern in terms of locations, clothes, the livin relations and everything else. However when it came to selecting the girl, the guy forgot all that he had or shared with the hot girl and got conveniently hitched with the simple girl. The argument of anything-can-happen-in-movies is not valid because I have seen same things happen in real life as well.

Portrayal of the smart girl as the bitch in reel world is one the problem. In real world however I feel there is a simple girl inside every independent and stylish girl. I mean look at someone like Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, she could give any successful man a run for his money. But there have been some moments on the show where her softer feminine side too has been highlighted. Behind every hard exterior there is a little vulnerable girl. It takes a real man to have the courage and most importantly the patience to break that shell.
Moveover a girl may always be dressed upto nines but her tattered old pyjamas will always be her favourites. Atleast mine are. I am very particular about what I wear and how I look but at home I will be spotted in a worn out T, pair of old cotton shorts, heavily oiled hair  and unwashed face with kajal running down till my cheeks. Not a pretty picture but a great break from the prim proper avatar.

Different people have different tastes in food. While some love heart Chinese others prefer Italian . Similarly when it comes to relationships people desire different qualities and attributes.It is perfectly fine if you desire a simple girl (whatever that means). But to change your priorities and behave like a total hypocritical nut is what I detest and hate. At one point you want to be seen with the queen bee of the college but after some years you want the girl who you used to make fun of. So not cool.

Every girl is special and deserves a guy who accepts her for who she is. Appreciates her for the unique qualities she has, respects her decisions and pamper her like a princess