So the 50’s Called

The 50s was a glamorous time. The world recovering after the Second World War, was trying to put its best foot forward. Economy, style, glamour everything was making its presence felt. While the men were very suave in suits and hats (very Rhett Butler), the ladies weren’t that far behind. With their bright pouts, flowy dresses, narrow waists (achieved by the much hated corsets) women had the world at their pointy peep-toes. When Marilyn Monroe breathlessly hummed ‘Happy Birthday Mr President’, people were in awe of her beauty and splendor. Also of her dress which the legend has it was so tight that it had to be sewn while she was in it. The said dress was auctions for $4.8 million in 2016. The irony is that in spite of her huge popularity and fandom, Marilyn was highly underpaid and was constantly involved in legal hassles with Fox over her pay scale.

The point is under all the glamour, there was a very dark underbelly. This consisted of a very sexist and chauvinist society, which undermined women wherever possible. I got hold of few ads that released around this time. To state that they are appalling would be an understatement. If you don’t believe me, have a look yourselves.

See what I mean?

Woah, talk about someone walking all over you.

Because good girls desire domestic appliances

Saved the best for the last. So Mornidine controlled the symptoms of morning sickness..so that breakfast can be had. Rest? What rest?

So after this very interesting visual, y’all must be thinking that we the women have come a long way. Definitely there are tremendous improvements that have taken place but the patriarchy system was not as easy to dissolve as one might think. Some things have got passed on from the old times and stuck like glue to our heads. Today women are flying planes and heading offices, they mandate equal respect and pay-scale. But some people still perceive women behind the hearth of domesticity. It doesn’t matter how hard to work, how important your position is, how mean a workout you indulge in, how many miles you run – if you are not quite the domestic goddess you might as well forget ever other achievement of yours. Now there are many women out there you accomplish all of this feat with aplomb. Many a times I read about these “superwomen” who wear these invisible capes and handle it all right from the boardroom to the bedroom (and the kitchen of course). More power to these women but just because they do it, it does not mean every women out there can or wants to do all of it. The real issue however sprouts when there is no choice and people just automatically expect it out of you.

I was recently out of town for office work. And that’s when I had this astonishing discovery to how misogynistic a society we live in. After the usual pleasantries, the very next question every other person asked me was “So, you are here, who’s taking care of your husband?” I answered dutifully the first few times, about how my husband is a very accomplished cook and can easily manage on his own. But as the frequency of this question increased, I was irritated to no end. I mean first of all, what goes inside my household is literally out of bounds for intrusion. Secondly even if some is very curious about it, it still is extremely wrong to assume and imply that I am responsible for cooking and taking care. And lastly why is the fact that guys can fend for themselves so difficult to digest? When paying the bills, maintaining the home, buying the groceries – every responsibility is equally divided why not the kitchen chores? What is it about the kitchen that seems to drive most of the men miles away from it and the activities associated with it.

While I do love cooking, I hate it when it’s implied or forced. I cook to unwind and enjoy the whole exercise of cutting, chopping, sauté’s and stirs. So once in a while when I am not up it we either order in or my husband cooks if he is up for it. For us, there is nothing wrong or special about this scenario. And no I don’t consider myself lucky that my husband cooks for me. This is simply what a marriage or any kind of relationship should be like. Division of labor. It is just so wrong to have this prejudice, what bothers me the most is that it mostly comes from educated gen X, gen Y gen Z and even the millennial. It may sound selfish but I think every person deserves some “me” time irrespective of his/her gender. Things like cooking/taking care/ etc etc should be done with love and not under a feeling of compulsion. After working for 9-10 hours continuously I sometimes crave some time to catch up on my reading or continue that Television series or simply laying on the bed. There is no way in hell I will allow anyone to make me feel guilty for this.

Or for eating khichdi when sick. So I had brought lentil/rice concoction for lunch to office when under a serious bout of cold. The moment I open my box this colleague of mine comments – “Oh so you are sick, your husband will also have to eat khichdi”. I was like “Whaaaaat”. I wanted to hit him with my snot covered handkerchief but somehow restrained myself. He also once made a hullabaloo when I accidentally exchanged husbands and my tiffin’s in a way that both of us had two same sabzi’s instead of two different ones. Like I got two boxes of pumpkin and he got two boxers of beans. The very next day the pesky colleague wanted to know how my husband reacted. I was again like “Whaaaaaat”. And if you must know too, husband did not even notice. He assumed I was feeling extra generous with the beans! While we are taking about office, one more gossip about a colleague who commented on a girl getting onsite opportunity, oh and yes she was married - “What she will do there, why they are initiating her visa. She should be with her husband and take care of him”. This time I was like “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat”. Also I wonder why people have this huge fixation with “taking care of the husband”.

I try I provide level headed answers and examples whenever I am encountered by questions like these (which are plenty may I add). I hope my answers will give people a new perspective and they might start to think in a new and better direction. How much it actually helps is debatable but I try and do my part. We have come far from what women were subjected to and perceived to be. I am sure we can overcome this too some years down the line. Meanwhile we also need to break stereotypes like it’s the Men who should always pay the bills or do the heavy load work. Division of roles and responsibilities all the way :)

P.S When I read the whole thing I wrote for proof read, I realized it’s more like a rambling and less like a decent piece of writing. But as many of you may have observed I have had a very long dry spell on the blog. So this post is still going up, quality of content be dammed! Will try to improve and better my writing in the next one for sure.

Amen

Love:
Sepo

Social Media Etiquettes

When we were young, we were taught manners and etiquette. To say sorry, pleases and thank yous wherever required. I studied in a catholic school, where we started our day with moral science classes. They were and have been instrumental in building up a conscious in me. Our sisters and teachers instilled in us the belief and love for god. The advantages of discipline. The power of forgiveness, helping the needy, the value of cleanliness and most importantly respect towards all. Even when venturing into the professional life, we were given training on how to dress formally, how to communicate with clients, how to negotiate deals, the art of subtle email writings, perfect table manners and personal hygiene. For everything thing we do and any venture that we step onto, there is a code of conduct. A set of do’s and dont's that need to be followed. After all that’s the thing which sets up apart from animals.

But digitization has come up with such a bang that we had literally no time to prepare for how to present ourselves when online. With twitter and Instagram we can just follow anybody with a click. Gain an insight into their lives or whatever they choose to share online. There are many other mediums which give us an opportunity to share across our views with amongst a humongous audience. But do we leverage the benefit of this correctly? Now that’s a very debatable question. I have spent an extreme amount of time last year to analyze how people react and comment on various platforms. My focus was on comments and discussion forums on popular websites like twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Quora and of course Facebook. My observations from the entire case study was shocking, cringe-worthy, appalling and sometimes all the three.

So let’s dig a little deeper. Now we all have some fascination with film stars, cricketers and people in entertainment field. And we now have a medium to feel connected with whosoever we like. But some people choose this medium to showcase their crassness. The kind of comments some of them leave will make anyone flinch in disgust. The area of comments will vary from insensitive remarks to vulgar comments of sexual nature to making fun of body parts to moral policing or simply trolling. I fail to understand the pleasure people drive from this. Does it somehow make them feel powerful? Does belittling someone feel good? Is it just for the sake of doing it? Or is it fearlessness about the fact that the opponent is sitting miles away and hence harmless.

I understand we cannot love/like everyone and neither can be always agree with someone else’s point of view. But we can ignore or have a healthy debate. It can get heated but under no circumstance should it come to such an extent that you have to badmouth, abuse and bring just about anyone from mothers, sisters, relatives and even Gods into your fights. Which I must point are stupid to begin with. Now topics which I have observed to be getting into these ugly comment zones are – Hindu/Muslim, Kashmiri Muslims Vs The Rest of India (whom they funnily refer to as Biharis), BJP Vs Congress, Modiji Lovers (popularly known as Bhakts on Quora) Vs Non Modiji Lovers (who call themselves secular), North Indians Vs South Indians (The hate portrayed here by some is unbelievable), Feminists Vs Men-who-hate-them and also Salman Khan fans Vs Shahrukh Khan fans (I kid you. Not). There are huge threads of comments on posts over these topics. And by huge I mean HUGE (like Big Data huge). Comment-reply-another reply-abuse-abuse-MyReligionIsBetterThanYours-Reply-Comment-Abuse-AndItGoesOn….

Talking about myself, I have carefully spaced myself out from the spider web that’s posts like these. Once I left a comment on a discussion forum about Kashmir. It was more of my personal feeling and expression but within minutes I received a notification that someone had replied to it. So I open a very rude, unnecessary, attacking and totally uncalled-for comment. Now I could feel my blood bubbling with anger, cheeks burning with rage. So I quickly opening my MS Word and started typing my answer back furiously (MS Word because anger can cause some serious spelling and grammar mishaps!). Satisfied with my reply after proof reading I was just about to copy-paste when a thought crossed my mind. This man who has commented on my post unwarranted without any provocation will definitely do it again after I reciprocate. In-fact I was serving him with exactly what he wanted. Now he may not have a life or anything better to do but I sure did. It was almost 7 and I had dinner to prepare. So I did the unthinkable. I deleted what I had posted originally hence giving myself the much needed closure. Now many might call me a coward but I’d say - anything for peace man! I have no patience or time for this sh** in life. But alas, there are few very like me for others this mind throbbing scenario brings some kind of adrenaline rush.

Last year also brought about this phenomena of trolls & memes. Social media enthusiasts spent a major amount of their time tagging each other in funny relatable memes. As much as I love laughing over the cleaver ones, I cannot ignore the fact that some of them tend towards being highly insensitive. Very recently people has a gala time laughing and sharing funny-face-pictures of Junior Ambani. But it turns out poor guy is suffering from sinusitis and borderline asthma, hence was breathless during his speech.

Internet is a fabulous place. The social networking platforms are great when used in the right manner. But by being abusive, bullying, stalking, bad mouthing and talking nonsense, more than the other person you are harming yourself. Your credibility and your set of values are at stake.It just goes on to say that your opinion is not strong enough to make a point and hence you resort to the dirty tactics. Moreover you are making the entire experience of unwinding and browsing for a person who has had a long day (or starting his day sitting on commode) very very sour.

Now that I have spoken to my hearts content, I present to you some proofs that I collected along. After a lot of brainstorming and censoring presenting the few that made the cut. Please brace yourself for some hardcore abuses.

 

Le Sigh!
Sepo

Analysis of the Movie-goers

For an average Indian, the recreation mode still consists of catching up on a movie starring your favorite stars with a big box of popcorn and cold drinks. Long before brunching and clubbing became popular, movies were the ultimate mode of entertainment. And it still continues to be so for the average middle class people. While going to the movies is a good enjoyable and relaxing program, some people you meet dead against making it a pleasing experience for you. They will do everything in their power to destroy this otherwise pleasant experience for you. And here’s a small list of how they do it:

1. While in a queue for tickets some people will literally ride up on your back like Betaal from Vikram aur Betaal. You move one inch and they will literally hog so as to ensure there is no breathing space between you two.

2. Some people don't wait until interval for the popcorn, they get it right in the start. Enter late in the hall, squash your feet while in the process to search for their seats and also sprinkle some popcorn and drops of cold-drink on you. And may I add ‘sorry’ is a word they seldom use.

3. Then come the people who fail to understand the concept of shortest path. If their seats are on one corner, they will forgo the shortest path and take the longest part, meanwhile squashing foots and manhandling the chairs and the people sitting on it. And mind you, no excuse me’s or sorry’s whatsoever!

4. Some people get way too comfortable on their seats and try to put their legs on the hand rest of the seat below. Unwashed socks never helped anyone. Especially in a closed air conditioned space.

5. Don't get me started on how annoying it is when you are just sitting in your seat, all relaxed and engrossed in the movie when out of the blue the person behind kicks your chair supposedly to adjust their legs. Don’t waste your time staring at them because you ain't gonna get any apologies.

6. The scenario of disturbance won’t be just from behind. There will be people sitting next to you and in front of you with their cellphones (busy with checking-in on Facebook), the brightness of which is blinding to the eyes accustomed to darkness in the hall.

7. Then amidst a serious scene someone's phone will ring with the loudest possible ringtone and they will match it with an even louder voice while answering. Because who keeps their phone on silent, right?

8. There are people who get toddlers to watch movies that are highly inappropriate for them. I have seen people bring kids to movies like hangover.

9. When you do the above mentioned, the kid will obviously get bored and start screaming or throwing tantrums hence disturbing the totally innocent audience.

10. And finally we have the couple who just booked the tickets so as they can make-out and create confusion in the minds of people surrounding them. People have a hard time deciding as to whether watch the movie or them!

LOVE:
SEPO

Good Guy Vs Bad Guy

"Every girl wants a bad boy, who will be good just for her and every boy wants a good girl who will be bad just for him."

 This quote got me to thinking about the ever ranging war between the good guys and the bad guys. It is a well known fact that since ages, girls have been attracted to bad boys. The one with bikes and money, leather jackets and an attitude, anger and aggression, brawls and fights. She just can't help fantasizing about the bad boy while friend-zoning the good guy heads over heels in love with her. There are a lot of theories floating about this very strange attraction:

Picture Courtesy - celovetalk.wordpress.com

1. The bad boy is not easily attainable, hence the challenge to pursue him is unmatched

The bad guy is not someone who can be tied into being in a relation with a same girl. Changing girlfriends (breaking their hearts on the way) is the part of the game the bad boy so excels in. Tying him down hence is a challenging task to say the least. Thus a girl takes the responsibility of taming this wild child into a more homely creature. While many succeed in doing so others are then seen crying in the arms of the friend-zoned guy.

2. The bad boy is rough and not all girls out there like chivalry
Not all girls want to be treated lady-like. Some want the casual stuff and that is exactly what drives them to the bad guy. Because the bad guy is not a gentleman, knows no chivalry. He won't open the doors nor pull any chairs for you. Thats precisely the reason why the prim proper girls stay away from him. And the bad guy is out hunting for them (as they are out-of-league). It is a vicious circle really!

3. The pain associated with heart-break involved in a relationship with the bad boy is addictive

We all know, being with the bad boy is not easy. He will be emotionally unavailable, prone to anger spurts, maybe two timing or just uninterested. The stress caused by being with someone like this is addictive. It makes it feel like love. When things are easy and we have a guy who is totally into us, does not cheat or insult. Things seem too good to be true and that freaks us out. Love has been made synonymous with pain by the books, movies and other marketing gimmicks. So when things are smooth in our love -life (like with a good guy) it all seems very un-love like to us. Believe it or not we dig drama in our lives.

4. Challenge to turn the bad guy into the good guy

The ultimate challenge of dating a bad guy is to change him into good. Make him into somebody you can introduce your parents to. Change the way he cuts his hair and dresses up. Erase various profanities from his vocabulary. There are a lot of tasks involved in transition from bad to good. None of these deter the girl involved in bringing about these changes. Whether or not all the hard-work will bear fruits depends on the destiny and the kind of mark the girl has left on the bad boy's heart.

5. The excitement of experiencing the bad guys world

Bad guy has a different way of life. If the good guy is daal chawal, bad guy is the biryani. If good guy is Bata, bad guy is the Charles Keith. If good guy is the desi Chinese served at Indian outlets, bad guy is the authentic Chinese served at Mainland china. His style is unmatched. He only shops from branded shops. He guzzles beer more than water. He smokes up stuff. He can tell his wines from each other. 80% of girls have had their first share of alcohol or smoke in the company of a bad guy. His pub hopping and loud music playing definitely attracts a fair share of girls to him.

In-spite of the above mentioned points it is baffling as to why any girl would subject her to such atrocities. At the end of the day every girl deserves to be with a guy who appreciates and adores her. It is very important to make right decision and move towards the right guy. While the bad guy may give you a temporary high, it is the good guy who will guarantee that you get your deserved share of permanent happiness.

Love:
SEPO

The Wrath of the Twitterati

Gone are the days of long romantic letters, informative columns and posts. These days 140 characters rule. You got something to say? You tweet. You got anger to vent? You tweet. You gotta wish someone? You tweet. You like something? You retweet. Twitter had never been so in rage like it is now. Social media definitely has its pros but at the same time its cons cannot be ignored or downplayed.

Everyone has something to say or share on the platform, which is a good thing. You can share across your views and at the same time come to know others point of view. It also gives you a chance to closely follow people you admire. While it is great for celebs to be closely associated with their admirers, it is also a known fact that leering amongst the crowd are haters and trouble makers. Some of them protectively covered under the identity of Anonymous. The kind of comments some of these people leave on popular people’s tweets and pictures will make you cringe.

Being famous has its repercussions. Newspapers were full of how Abhishek Bachan reverted to an insensitive user who targeted his daughter. The senior Bachan was apparently blamed for traffic jams outside his bungalow. Neha Dhupia faced protests outside her home and death threats when she dared to blame the reigning government for monsoon troubles in Mumbai. Rishi Kapoor who was recently called the C word is known to shame people who don’t follow proper code of conduct. Then there are celebs who get trolled for their misinformed tweets. Our desi superhero Hritik Roshan was victimized for his white/blue/black dress tweet and the “tribal” militant attack in Manipur. Anushka Sharma was taken for a class for misspelling Mr Kalam’s name. Sometime back not so popular but still very cute shararaat fame Shruti Seth was on a receiving end of a lot of bullshit from people. She made the mistake of sharing her affront opinion about the selfiewithdaughter campaign by Modi ji.

Now we have to understand that while we may absolutely love butter chicken, there are millions of people all around the world who would find it to be too spicy, overcooked or messy. That does not mean that we go on to attack those people. What works for them might be entirely repulsive to us. Same way while a group of us might be inclined towards one political party and its initiatives others may not agree to it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, however biased it may be. What we can to is engage in a healthy debate on why you disagree or may highlight the benefits of the said initiate for that person to see. But lounging a personal attack, name calling, abusing and mud throwing just makes you a human looking animal. Just because social media allows you to post doesn’t mean that you forget all filter and etiquette involved in it.

What really interested me to Shruti’s case was the open letter she wrote just after the incident. Now open letters are the new fad. These days people write open letters all the time and to just about everybody. They write them to Politicians, film stars, cricketers or all the three together. Who can forget the famous open letter Shenaz Treasurywala wrote to Shahrukh, Modi ji, Salman, Sachin Tendulkar and the likes. But Shruti’s letter was different. It was a very honest and easily the most sensible stuff I had read on the internet in a really long time. Plus the points raised in her letter are pretty valid. How does abusing a women (however wrong you may feel she is) make you a better citizen? The irony is that people did not even stop the hatred after her letter. All the websites that posted her letter has comments flipping mud all over her and her Muslim husband.

And it’s not just about stars or Shruti. The advent of social media has made a commenter out of everyone, which is not at all a bad thing as long as you exercise proper conduct. My personal vendetta is also with people effectively working under the mask of anonymous. I have locked horns with many over the last few years.Browse through any video on YouTube and check the comments. You will be taken aback by the similarity in the content. The fellow commenters start by their likes or dislikes, they come to a point of disagreement and then it starts. Either they will go racist or the ever famous India Vs Pakistan. Then comes the swearing which will make even the most abusing person to run for covers. What baffles me the most is the fact that instead of bad mouthing the person involved, all indulge in abusing their mothers and sisters! Why just why???

This scenario reminds me of a quote from my favorite novel which goes like:
“Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.”

― Khaled Hosseini (A thousand Splendid Suns)

Everything said, I must say that online info sharing has its own set of benefits. It boosts your general knowledge. From Kalam Sir’s death to the porn ban and its revocation. All info is available simultaneously on Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp or Instagram. Hash tags can be easily checked out to get the entire thread of info you need for details. Imagine shopping online and spotting a feedback for the product you are intending to buy. A positive or negative review definitely affects your course of action.A word of caution though, with the speed that things are getting banned now-a-days, it would be a good idea to exercise some precaution. You never know what might just get banned next…






LOVE
SEPO

When are you getting married?

Is it just me or has the standard greeting changed from “hello, how are you?” to “When are you getting married”. I suddenly have a new found respect for Salman khan. With the entire nation going crazy over his marital status. And the sheer volume of marriage questions he is asked, I can imagine how he must feel. After a certain age people just automatically start excepting things from you.

The moment you pass your 10th standard people want to know the subject you elected for. Then after 12th they are keenly involved with you in the college selection process. For another three to four years they won’t give a damn about what you do (except for the result days). But as soon as you graduate they will be back, wanting to know about your plans for future. Further studies or job. If its job they will ask you whether or not you got it every time they see you, even if it is consecutive days. Once you do land a job, after a peaceful tenure of two to three years they will be back and this time with a more ulterior motive – Marriage.

You know you are in trouble when your Facebook page start highlighting your friends changing their relationship status from Single to Engaged on a regular basis. The time of your doom is not far away. In no time your parents will start to approach you for that special talk and required qualities. Before you even realize what’s happening there will be tons of prospective profiles thrown at you with the intent of you choosing them on the basis of overtly edited picture and highly technical (and bogus) qualifications. Then there are ever friendly and helping auntyji’s who will leave no stone unturned to find a perfect match for you. They will sit will chai-biscuit turn their entire family (and extended family) tree upside down and draw out atleast two to three ideal matches for you – with money, looks and property.

Things start to get scary when people apart from your parents, friends and the auntyji’s start taking interest in your marital status and when your friends start to post updates of their first kid. I am in that scary place right now. In the last few weeks people ranging from random colleagues to acquaintances to housekeeping people have asked me when I am getting married. When I refused to meet an old friend multiple times, he automatically assumed that I am engaged. It’s like wherever I go there’s going to be some or the other marriage talk. My office consoling friend, previously mentioned here does again nothing to sooth my nerves. In fact she tells me that in Maharashtrian society a girl of 25 has to marry a boy of 32 because a guy of 25, 26 will always want a girl of 22. In the IT sector where 24 year olds have pot bellies, image of a 32 year old with 5 month pregnant belly and male pattern baldness gives me creeps. Also she adds that when you marry at the right age, which is 24 you have proper time to enjoy for 2,3 years and then plan for a baby at 28 which again is the perfect age for the first baby. Then by 32 you would have the second baby and be absolutely free to “enjoy your life” by 35.

I was at this crossroads few years back as well and that too has resulted in a very frustrated blogpost. I can’t believe I am back there and this time with a situation graver than the last. What scares me more is that back then I could atleast imagine myself doing something ~ studying in a MBA college, working in some software company or helping my mother by washing utensils/clothes. But in this case I just can’t imagine myself married, living with a guy, cooking and cleaning his stuff. My imagination just stops at the wedding dress, shopping and jewellery after that it’s all just a dark black hole for me. This just indicates that I am mentally not ready for marriage. Being the youngest in my family for a long time, I was always dependent on my parents and sisters for all my critical life decisions. So somewhere down the line I just did not grow up, in my head I am still a little girl. I am still into hairbands and funky jewellery. Marriage therefore scares the shit out of me. I start getting panic attacks the moment anyone utters the M words. I am waiting for myself and my brain to make peace and take its time getting used to the idea of being married. I am ok with this but I guess society is not. That can be the only reason for people going bonkers over my non-married status.

All this got me thinking to whether we marry because we are ready and want to or just because people expect as to. Do we marry for the society? Buckling under the pressure? Because after a certain age it just seems normal to get hitched and avoid questions or raised eyebrows? Do we just settle down to avoid being alone at gatherings and weddings? To present that picture perfect image of ours to people…however blurred or distorted that image maybe from inside. I for one feel that marriage has been given way too much importance in our society. Let people be, they will get married when they want to. And that’s not all, even when people do get married the very next thing people expect from them is the inevitable “good news”. So overall it is just a vicious circle.

My future plan does include marriage but I don’t want my life to revolve around it. There is just so much I still have not done. I know I sound like a wistful teenager but it is the truth. There are so many things to be done, horizons to be reached, places to go, canvases to be painted, shoes to be bought, book to be written, revenges to be plotted, experiments to be done, get drunk and what not. Lots of what nots.





Heres raising a toast to not getting married.
Cheers
Sepo


Pssssst ... This is a picture free post, the absence is attributed to laziness.

The North, South and the West of it

Deny it as much as you want but it exists. The divide between the North and the South. North Indians feel they are the best, South Indians feel they are the best and the fight goes on. Over the years being a North Indian I too had developed a few misconceptions about the South side of the country. Some are them turned out to be really true, some funny, some lame and others just plain dumb! I am writing a few of them below, they are really good for laughs:

1. Telugu, Tamil, kanada, Malayalam... I always thought it is all the same.
2. South Indians are sincere and hardworking people.
3. South Indians are pure vegetarians and eat food cooked in coconut oil only.
4. South Indian girls always dress modestly.
5. South Indians are generally more studious.
6. They hate North Indians.
7. All south Indians have curly hair.
8. Crime rate in south is almost nil.

I know I am not alone amongst the North Indians in thinking so. There will be many others who feel just the same. In fact the south Indians would have a similar kind of a list for us North Indians as well!This post sprouted in my mind because of a recent development in the PG I lived in. We are a mix of cultures here, with people from J&K, Orissa, Bhopal, Lucknow, Gujarat and Andhra Pradesh. Quite a mix isn’t it? The difference in states and culture was never an issue between us (though it still isn’t, to some extend). After a new girl came from Andhra we suddenly noticed a great change that took place in the PG. All of a sudden we were unknowingly divided into two groups. Yes you guessed it right ~ North & South!

I considered this fight between North and South like that of Girls Vs Boys, which is sweet, adorable and entertaining! Little did I know that what I thought to be superficial was something so deep and serious. I have a habit of generally googling about the topics I intend to write. So while surfing I came across this very awesome blog (http://www.the-nri.com/index.php/2010/12/the-indian-north-south-divide/). The blog post was somewhat similar in lines to what I was planning to write. So far so good. But what caught my attention was the comments on this particular post. If you go through this post of the blog, you will see the hatred and revulsion reflected by people for each other. Reading this spoilt my mood big time. Even in this age people in India are not one. The caste, culture and creed still come inbetween the country’s progress.


Does it really exist or am I blowing things out of proportion?

Life is OH-SO-STRANGE.

Have you ever done something which you always thought you were unable to do. Talked and then been friends with someone, who absolutely hated or hated someone who you were friends with. Taken decisions at the spur of the moment and discovered them to be a success. Made careful plans, taking lot of time just to encounter disappointment. I know your answer to atleast one of these will be a YES.......!

One of the most hurtful feelings is when you realise that a friend has backstabbed you. Someone you trusted, shared your thoughts and secrets with. And the most amazing fact is that inspite of doing all this that friend has the nerve to face you and behave as if all is fine. They don’t even get sick of pretending. Ridiculous.

Also, there’s a category of people who have taken themselves to be some sort of self proclaimed saints. Who know everything and act as if you have given them the sole right to run your life as per there commands. They are full of s*** but don’t shy away from telling you, who to talk to, who is good and who’s not so good...!! Take a break folks and analyse yourselves. Trust me, you ll be ashamed to meet yourselves. First go and cleanse yourself and then go about directing people to do the same.

Finally I want to throw light on the most cheapest and filthy minded people. The ones who raise both their eyebrows whenever they spot with you with a guy (or a member of the opposite sex). The sole motive of their life then becomes to go in depths of the details of your relationship with that person. For such people the relation between a girl and a boy is of two kinds only. Either they are romantically involved or they are brother sister. Now when such filthy minded people come together they successfully spread news like fire in the forest. Set the rumour mills ranging. When these rumours reach out to you, either you can laugh them off Or else they will ruin whatever relation you shared with the person.

We are surrounded by different kinds of people. We require great amount of courage and will-power to gauge them off. Living your life your way, with your conditions and rules is one hell of a task. At every step a slycutter will be waiting to throw you off-arm. Pulling you away from your goals, from people you want to be, from places you want to go. Life is no cake-walk...!!
I would like to end by saying.....
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST (The theory will never get old)

THE FOUR LETTER WORD.

Love- it is not merely a word. It’s an emotion. One of those which is impossible to predict. You can never ever justify this feeling. You can never explain why your heart beat suddenly accelerates on seeing someone. Yet love is also one of the most natural feelings, example, a mother’s unconditional love for her child, love for your friends, pets... the list is endless.....


Every place shouts the presence of it. Movies, magazines are full of it. Love stories, which are bestsellers. How can one not get inspired/influenced by this? There have recently been incidents in my life which have both strengthened and weakened my belief in love. Also this topic in itself is so complicated, that I was sceptical as to whether or not I will be able to do justice to it. But I had to take this load off me and also I had promised a friend of mine that I will write about it. Now I seriously have no idea as to what exactly I am going to write about... but have to start, so ......

I ll begin by the story of a guy, who loves a girl from the past three years. The girl however refuses to acknowledge the fact and the guy. The guy refuses to give up. The situation now is that the guy has just one ambition left, and that is to somehow or the other get her or just talk to her some way. Career, hobbies, friends ... all these things hold no meaning to him. Everything is just about that girl. He keeps talking about her. Keeps on making plans to somehow just talk to her. His whole life is centred around her. Sometimes I feel, she is all he’s living for and at times I fear she is the one he could even die for.



This guy happens to be a good friend of mine and I care about him. Sometimes I get so clueless as to how should I help him. What should I say to make him feel better? What should I say that does not sound like a cliché?”I cannot live without her”. How to reply to that. Who is at fault here, the girl the guy ...who? And what exactly is this thing called love..? You meet someone and suddenly your whole being is around and about that person. your days are gone thinking about them, wondering how great it would be to have them around.... is this what love is...? This longing, the need to be together, .........!!!

And even when you are lucky enough, and your feelings are reciprocated, what happens then...? Naturally, everything looks heavenly. Life is suddenly beautiful. There is no greater source of happiness than knowing the fact that there is this special someone, who constantly cares, worries about you. Reminds you constantly, how special you are. Your days and nights belong to them and you feel you have attained the most precious gift ever. But love doesn’t come with a guarantee, there is no permanence.



Coming to another story, a love story straight out of the pages of mills and boon. Innocent love, not knowing the true realities of life. Lovely beginning, great start, perfect understanding. When the couple attained stability and settled down, there were suddenly cracks visible in spite of the strong foundation. It seems like love left them. There is nothing to talk about. The long never-ending, pocket-emptying telephone conversations are now a thing of past. The initial hellos are followed by uncomfortable silence and ended with formal talks. No endearments. Now what went wrong here....everything was so perfect, so true, just like a fairytale...

But as they say “life is no fairytale”. The harsh reality is that, even when two persons are committed to each other and practise fidelity, things can go wrong. Distances occur which are impossible to bridge, like two banks of a river. There was a time, when every detail of “what all you did the whole day” was disclosed, but now you call only because of habit. The communication gap at one point of time gets so huge, that you realize that the person you at one time loved is now nothing but a stranger.




It becomes so difficult to take a step towards improving your relation. Always waiting for the other person to make the first move. And when the other person fails to do so, thinking “if he is not bothered, why should I care”. Small problems change to bigger ones and the distance keeps growing.

Amidst this enters a new person, who suddenly gives you attention and appreciation. You would go towards that person like a piece of iron towards the magnet. However hard you try to stay away, make promises with yourself, it becomes impossible to think rationally. When the person you love criticises you, has no time for you. That new person gives the required comfort and a great boost to your self-esteem and self-confidence. Is this cheating....? Infidelity...?




Do you even realise the fact that what you are doing is wrong, does this fact register in your mind..? It’s injustice to yourself, your partner and that “new” person. Then what to do....? What is the right thing to do..? Go back to the place you receive no respect, or break all ties and set yourself free...? I know there are “n” number of solutions available... just Google it and you ll be spending rest of the day reading great answers to your queries. But how badly I wish it was that easy. In reality when you are under such a situation (or for that matter any situation relating to love) your brain refuses to acknowledge the solution or the easy way out (saying this on basis of personal experiences...!!). Maybe it’s true that love is synonym of suffering...!!

So what exactly is love....? does it exist or is it just a gimmick. Is it popular only because it’s all over the movies, and it’s kinda “cool” to say that I am in love...? I am still in a dilemma. Hope I get my answers soon....!!
For then
keep loving ...!
I ll like to end the post by quoting a line by someone who’s been there and done that...
“Don’t confuse love with desire
It comes from the ashes of desire”.

p.s
I think this is my longest post...!! (:D) ohh god this love...!!