Restlessness is a hugely unsettling thing. The irritation quotient associated with it just doubles up when you don't know the reason behind it. I don't know whether this is without reason or is an amalgation of a number of reasons. The rejections, disappointments and stress that we face on daily basis. Maybe they just get together and contribute to that heart-sinking, gut-crunching feeling. Or maybe it's just the hormones working as a part of the whole PMS thing.
Whatever the reason, the end result is definitly not good. It just like you have to do something, get over with a task but you don't know what the task is. And no amount of dark chocolates or back to back episodes of FRIENDS or SATC will seem to help. May I also mention that you may get an unreasonable urge to give a tight slap to Carrie Bradshaw, for all that whiney clingly behaviour with her Mr Big.
Moreover you can't explain it to anyone without sounding like a complete nut.
I try and stay from homosapiens during such bouts because I don't know I feel I might just kill someone. No kidding. Okay, I may have exaggerated that a little but no seriously, I do hate everything and anything happening around me.
And while we are on the topic of irritation, may I take this opportunity to discuss and let know how whole heartedly I hate the new blogger interface. I have never ever used an interface so user unfriendly. Even after months I still have to click on random (stupid) icons to see where I can start a new post or check the preview and don't even get me started on the template design and layouts. But the most annoying thing has to be the fact that they disabled automatic new tab opening for the posts from other blogs. Now what the hell is that about? On top of that they just remove the old interface and force me use the new one. All I am saying is just that LET ME CHOOSE just don't force your decisions and your idea of better user interface on me.
Writing has an unusually calming effect on me. There are just so many things I want to write about. It keeps my mind occupied and puts the irritation causing agents to rest. Infact not just irritation, on any emotional upheaval good or bad, I turn to my good old blog for support. There is something really sexy about writing especially late into the nights. Mind is fresh and perked up with ideas. Fingers are working swiftly to turn those ideas into sentences. Hint of music playing in the background. And the very distinct feeling of being alone in the dark night. Very cool really.....
I don't have the patience to re read and check the formatting/spelling of the stuff I have written. But I do realize that none of the paragraphs really mean anything or bear any relation with one another. I might as well have written individual mini posts. I initially planned to write just for a little sanity and mental peace. But then I thought that staying up till 2 in the morning and burning midnight oil should atleast bear some fruits (also will be fun to read it after some months/years). So I am going to do the brave thing and publish it.
P.S Although it may seem so, the post has NOT been written in a drunk state. Maybe in a little sleep induced state and well, restlessness.