Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Over the years, after meeting multitude of people I have come to realize that being a good listener is such an underrated skill. I think most of us have this incontrollable need to put across our point of view or experiences in every conversation. Many a times not considering the fact that some situations may not require us to get into sharing or problem-solving mode. As an introvert-pretending-to-be-an-extrovert, I really struggle to share my issues, problems and any mundane stuff with people, however close they might be. And it breaks my heart into a million pieces when they go into “Hey, the same thing happened to me…”, “Oh you know what you should do…” and the worse when they keep interrupting. Arrrghh. Just, Zip.It.Up.

 I am what you’d call a quarter of a Drama Queen. Whenever I am in some dilemma, trouble or any kind of minor inconvenience I like to make a huge hullabaloo out of it. I like to endlessly talk about it but mind you, I am not looking for any solutions or help. All I want to portray is how hard the situation is and make you a witness to how awesomely I am going to stride through it. On my own. Why is this so difficult to understand? Especially to people of the umm opposite sex. Sit your ass down darling prince, this damsel will take care of her own distress. Thank you very much.

 Now I know I have my flaws as a person but one thing I am really proud of is my ability to listen. Just listen. Make the other person comfortable and let them just vent out. You would not believe how good the other person feels when you simply just give them an attentive ear. What helps more is that I never forget anything. All useless trivia like your ex-boyfriend, the ice-crème flavour you ate 4 years back, the name of the guy who hit on you when you were in college, your latest bumble match, the name of your brother-in-law’s cousin you had a crush on, name of your neighbours’ pet, your favourite cousin, the name of your best friend growing up. This and a lot more. So, while the person is speaking, I keep dropping these titbits of information which further pleases the person that they have undivided attention (and interest) of their audience. Well, if I am being honest a few of them are a little freaked out as well, but impressed, nonetheless.

 I know this post has taken quite a comical turn but my original intent for it was to be a serious one. I mean the examples I have given are very tame compared to the monstrosity I have witnessed people commit. I would say it is still okay to butt in for minor day to day stuff, but people really need to be taught how to behave in sensitive situations. Situations like death and condolences. When you talk to a bereaved family or a person, you do not give examples of how the same or worse happened with you and how you cope up with it. You do not make it about yourself. Give them love, give them strength. If you cannot do that just shut your mouth and just be there. Trust me, people however doomed they maybe in grief remember who came, who called and who was silently just present. And for the love of God, don’t go about asking the age of the person who passed away. I mean how does that matter? A loss is a loss irrespective of the time, age or any other factors. Don’t go on being a jerk.

What baffles me the most is that people committing these faux pas aren’t some underaged kids but grown-ups. I have personally seen people decades older than me behaving like complete social misfits. Incidents like these solidify my belief that apart from algebra and organic chemistry, we need to be teaching empathy and values in school. And a refresher course of using social media. On how just because you sit behind a screen doesn’t give you a right to pass mean comments and judgements on people.

 Well, that’s all. My rant for the day is done. I hope my miniscule audience here reads, agrees and implements atleast a part of what I have written about.

Until next time.

Love:

Sepo

 

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