Saturday, August 25, 2012

The (SMS) Silly Me Syndrome


I read this piece of article long back and it striked such a chord that I have not been able to forget it since then. The article as is evident from the title talked about the Silly Me Syndrome found amongst the fairer sex. It is the thing of acting silly and dumb in front of guys to impress them by inflating their already bursting male ego (JK!). My immediate reaction on reading this was of a strong disagreement. My mind was crowded with memories of all those fights in college and otherwise to prove the fact we girls are superior and better in every respect to boys. But then the more I thought about this article the more clearer it started to become.

In fact I recalled a few occasions where in even I have behaved in a similar way. But there is a difference, a girl will behave silly and dumb only in front of a guy she likes. Pretending not to notice a pronunciation mistake but cringing inside is an example. I don't know the reason behind it but they say that it has been programmed into our system since, well, old times. As a proof I present to you the following quotes penned down in old times and for that matter by foreign authors.

"A woman, especially, if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can."
Jane Austen

Another one by Magaret Atwood:

All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard.
Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

Now the question is why would a self respecting, confident woman behave like a total idiot just because she is talking to a man who happens to look good. I have observed a change in many women when they talk to men. They will laugh even at the silliest of their jokes and listen attentively to any pieces of wisdom that they happen to share. Any man would love this trait in his girlfriend/wife.

Since time immemorial men have detested smart, intelligent and successful women. They always come across as a serious threat to the men folk. Now this is why the trend of marrying young girls came into practice. Sadly this brutal practice continues to carry on and has no chance of changing in near future. Men always prefer to marry younger girls, who are still unsure and clueless about what to do in life. Before they get any chance to think about things like future, career, job, bank balance they are married off. And before they realize it, the rosy honeymoon period is over and they are huge in both size and responsibilities. The problem with marrying girls of same age group is that they are mature, smart and in every respect as successful as their male counterparts. Hence it leaves a doubt on who will wear the pants in the marriage. And if by any chance the girl is in any way stronger than the guy professionally (read salary) that's the end of it all.



So lets take a realistic example and get to the RCA (root cause analysis) of this issue in question. The scenario is such that as soon as I reach the ripe old age of 23 (that’s my current age) my parents  relatives, neighbours and every distant persons starts fretting over my single status and leave no stone unturned to find a suitable guy for me. Now the interesting part is that all the candidates for my husband-to-be will be atleast 3-4 years older than me, because guys my age are busy setting down and taking time to built career.  Well, my career and choice do not matter as long I cut a pretty picture for the matrimonial sale. Now if by chance I rebel all this and refuse to be victimised I will again be standing at crossroads when after 4 years with 28 years of wisdom I will be an old meat in the matrimony market. Guys older to me will already be happily married and guys my age will be busy looking for the 22 & 23 years old.



So where does that leave me and thousands of girls whose aspirations and dreams get sacrificed because of this mad scenario. This whole thing has led to the SMS Syndrome thing. I refuse and detest being associated with a man who chooses to be with dimwits to boost his ego. Wouldn’t an ideal marriage be one in which two individuals are equal, where the guy respects not commands. Where decisions are taken together (we are not talking about “what-to-cook-for-dinner” type decisions here). And a world which does not ridicule and call names like sissy to the man who happens to love and respect his lady. *Sigh* So much for equally and some respect. I somehow feel that it will take another century to change the scenario we are living in.

I will end the post with some more disheartening quotes.

If men could see us as we really are, they would be a little amazed; but the cleverest, the acutest men are often under an illusion about women: they do not read them in a true light: they misapprehend them, both for good and evil: their good woman is a queer thing, half doll, half angel; their bad woman almost always a fiend.
Charlotte Brontë, Shirley

A wife should always be few feet behind her husband. If he is an MA you should be a BA.If he is 5'4'tall you shouldn't be more than 5'3'tall. If he is earning five hundred rupees you should never earn more than four hundred and ninety nine rupees.That's the only rule to follow if you want a happy marriage...No partnership can ever be equal.It will always be unequal, but take care it is unequal in favor of the husband. If the scales tilt in your favor, God help you, both of you.
Shashi Deshpande

19 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Nice to read your blog after longgggggg time..

    I personally believe in love marriage..But all are not lucky enough to find their soul mate..so here problem comes especially for girls who would like to marry with a guy of her age...But let me tell u how this ritual of this inequality in age started..if there is a difference in age, there are more chances that the child will have at least one surviving parent when both are near about 60..having said that, I will be honest to confess that I would like to have a younger wife as her beauty will last long

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  3. 1. I agree: equality in a marriage shld b there (question frm our side ...this is frm the male fraternity..:):

    1.1)y do mst of the girls look for men earning more than them nd y not in d same range ?

    1.2) In case of any relation ruining circumstance women would never shy away frm demanding "alimony".. it becomes their right (lol) as per the legal system arnd the wrld..look for tom cruise, so many examples.. its never the guy getting alimony perks.. Only if u are gender biased u wuld say that it is always the aurat being the victim of a divorce...which is nt so...

    2. Disagree: "Men always prefer younger women which are nonchalant" : stongly disagree lot of men wnt their wives to b better than them... be mature enough to understnd them.. who wuld like to share space with a dumbo.. obviously not.. age is never a barrier for us..i wuld av a totally opposite remark on this.. its same with girls they dun ever want their huby to be younger in age..u ll find mre cases of this sort

    For this the blame goes to the society, including parents...etc that includes men women both...

    3. This one is frm d heart... most of ur posts depict us (men) as devils in d society... it wuld be highly appreciated if there cn b a positive post abt us in near future..

    4. @prasad: dun realy think ki outside beauty is so imp.. to begin with it can be a kind of ignition for our senses to fall in luv bt aftr dat there are so many other attributes to appreciate.. which wuld definitely last longer than anything..

    all in all a very interesting subject nd an interesting post with apt quotes attached

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  4. interesting post as usual boss..hey i was looking out for u in mumbai during my recent visit..kept shouting yr name from railway stations but no one turned around..haha:)

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  5. hey buddy how r u yar? long time no c

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  6. It's a very honest post. Sadly, that's the way society has build up the bridges only to seperate human beings. Their version of truth is what they want us to believe and not what we want to see. It's very true and congrats fr having the guts to unravel the mystery of an increasingly confused society

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  7. Really appreciate your efforts in discussing this topic in such detail and bringing out various points!!

    Things are way too different in a western country, people have more freedom and wider choice. Unfortunately in India our culture binds us and the society expects everyone to follow that old stereotypic kind of life. Grandparents, parents have followed something - so we too are expected to follow the same - but times have changed now and its upto us to stand up for our own dreams and aspirations in life.

    Coming to the attitude of men in the modern world, I agree 99% might be egoistic, but please don't get me wrong, but I wish you consider the 1% men who are selfless, ready to sacrifice and would put others happiness before theirs.

    I request you to consider saying, "most men" instead of 'men' as whole, cause there are some really nice men out there who don't deserve to be placed in the same list. There is still some good in the world in some corner.

    All my life I have seen my Dad care for my Mom more than anything. And Mom earns more than my Dad - that was the case when they married too and there isn't much age difference between them.

    I have never mistreated nor seen any woman as low in my life. My mom, sister, cousins, girls at school, college, work place - I value and respected them for what they are. And coming to age, am looking for a girlfriend too and I don't mind if she is older than me and doesn't matter if she earns more and is higher in position - what actually matters is does she really and truly love me.

    I have lots to tell about this but can't write a comment that long here, so decided to write a blog post exclusively on this topic - that men have a heart that can truly love and care and how devoted men are to women and how a man worships the woman he loves and how she precious she is to him.

    So, in my opinion a girl can always marry a guy of her same age, someone who is very nice and who is not dominant - she has to put that extra effort to find that diamond among stones. Trust me, there are still good people in this world, it isn't all bad out there.

    Please forgive me in case something that I wrote above as my opinion offended you in anyway. And do check out my next blog post which I'll be writing soon.

    Have a nice day, take care :)

    Cheers,
    Sai :)

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    your writing style is jst awesome:)

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