Memories

In my previous post I spoke at length about getting old. Noticing changes in lifestyle and preferences. Of being only a segment of who you once used to be. All the thoughts I had put into the post plus the reactions and comments the post garnered, made me want to revisit the person I was. Back in college – the carefree me! And getting unexpected phones calls from old college friends only strengthened by resolve to open up the Pandora box full of college memories. Every semester, event and celebration carefully saved alphabetically.

It was a difficult task selecting a few from a huge collection. But sharing a few special ones:

One of my favourite picture of the three of us, taken at our favourite eatery – Smokin Joe’s. L-R Eku, Vandy,Me

  

In the college canteen, while making assignments. L-R Eku, Me, Pooja, Ekta, Reeti, Shivani

We were pretty big on hairbands, which I still wear. I guess somethings don’t change. I now agree with my roommate when she says “Adults are just kids, with money!”

We were also big on buying identical clothes. Notice the same green ganji 

That’s taken at one of the most famous garden of our college. Popularly known as the…wait for it –LOVERS Garden. I say one-of-the because our college was full of gardens. Lots of places to hang out at after bunking classes.

A picnic of sorts

With seniors, after an event – Eccentronics. I really don’t understand the cause of our super excitement in the pic. The Guys, L-R Harminder, Anupam, Rajesh, Sourav

Newly opened Dominoes was frequently visited in the last two years of engineering. The guys, L-R Sushil, Sumit, Sanjeev, Govind, Aman

Group Discussion I had participated in. The picture was clicked at the only time I opened by mouth and that too to blabber something totally unrelated to the topic.I am first one from right.

Me under my favourite tree in the college:-)

Nope not on a trek here. Believe it or not this was actually a shortcut for going to our canteen.

Oh decorating my assignments. This was a running joke in my class – That Sneha applies lipstick and nail polish on her assignments as well ;)

Again with the same tshirts.

This was an industrial visit. All I remember from this is the different poses we made for the shutterbugs. Standing, L-R – Yogeshwar, Cheena, Manan, Prerna, vandy, me, Reeti, Ankush. Siting, L-R – Shafali, Pooja, Himanshu.

One of my most loved picture. I just love the way I am holding Vandy’s arm.

With Blog-Dost Geetanjali. BTW I was shocked to see the number of pictures taken in Dominoes. No wonder I can’t stand domino’s pizza anymore.

Yep. Haircuts were immaculately captured as well. And that Man is the best hair dresser. Ever. Enough said.

No words for this one. I am just gonna stare and express utter shock and disbelief at my frame

Poser Girls. Eku and Me were colour coordinated on most days and it was never coincidence. Every morning we used to call each other and decide what to wear. Yes that’s the truth.

The fake happiness is so visible on my face. The guys – Raghav and Nakul.

Another one I love. Taken at our bus stop.

Circle of hands.

Love the burst of colours in this one!

Rameez & Adarsh. Courtesy these two, I have had my one and only free meal in a restaurant. No there was no offer. We just left the place without paying the bill and no one caught us. Thank heavens.

The one with my favourite shoes. Silver ballerinas. Love! The Girls – Suchika, Vandy and Pallavi

Of accessories and more!

This was/is/will always remain my favourite place for Momos. It was called Momo hut and was pretty much our home for the 4 years. The mutton momos here were out of this world…so yum.

When we bunked sessional exam to go to a movie – Housefull. The girl and guy in the left are married. To each other. How cool is that!

I have worn this white shirt way too much back then!

Working on the project. Circuits, Etching, drilling, soldering …

Our college was in outskirts so spotting them was pretty common. Lovely no?

At Vaishno Devi. Jai Mata Di

The one with identical bracelets

This was science day or something. There was a dress-code of black and white to be followed. That explains the monotone of colours in the picture,.

Last working day of college.

This picture is extremely special because its taken with the guys who graced us with their presence only one or twice per semester.

This is vikhram bhaiya ka dhabba our chill out place in front of the college. Best nan with rajma and chatni have been had here

This was taken on the day of campus drive for capgemini and both of failed to clear it :)

Does the post remind you of your own college days? If yes do share your memories....

Love:
Sepo

10 Signs You Are Getting Old

1. When you ditch street shopping for shoes & clothes because of the sheer amount of energy involved in travel, search, bargaining and dodging off noisy college girls. Plus buying cheap stuff (like shoes) which would later involve huge repairing costs just does not seem to be a great plan anymore. You would rather spend your time peacefully shopping at a branded shop in a mall (once you have managed to get rid of the sales-people, that is!). This marks as your transformation from the street-smart-bohemian to what my roommate calls the Brand-Bitch.

2. When instead of checking out dudes on bike, you critique their reckless driving and comment on how they have no regards for their own or other people’s lives. Then you continue to speak on how these days’ parents are spoiling their kids with excessive indulgences. And then you gulp because you realize that you sound just like your Mom.

3. When your prefer to spend your New Year dining at a cosy, intimate, elegant and highly overpriced eatery rather than in the crowded, hip, loud-music-playing, beer tower serving lounges. The loud music noise they play gives you jitters and the frequenters of such places – the racoon eyed, crop top wearing tweens make you highly uncomfortable.

4. When you give-up exciting night-outs “experimenting” with stuff and prefer to have an all-night-long date with your beloved collection of movies, TV series and various sitcoms.

5. When various takeaway boxes in your house give way to healthy food like dry fruits, oats and fresh fruits.

6. When you start to wash your clothes daily instead of waiting for the weekend. The days of no-underpants-to-wear-because-all-are-in-laundry-bag are ancient history now.

7. When you live right opposite to a flat full of bachelor boys and yet there is no flirting happening.

8. When getting crushes on debutante celebrities is a passé because most of them are now almost your age or younger. Similarly unlike before now you just don’t go about watching every movie that sees light of the day. You catch up on the ones that garner rave reviews at multiple film festivals. Also
latest songs are rarely on your playlist unless really popular.

9. When you choose comfort over style by ditching the pair of your sexy stilettos for block or kitten heel pumps.

10. When terms like recurring deposit, mutual funds, LIC, PPF start to make sense.

There is no defined threshold after which you can confidently say that – yes, I am grown up now. It is always with some instance or memories that you suddenly realize that there is a part of you which have been left behind….

Love:
Sepo

Faith & Patience

Religion is a complex feeling (if you can call it that). Especially in India, a lot of importance is given to caste, the god you believe in, the rituals you follow and stuff. Religion, worship and God form a very important part of the upbringing for us Indians. And there are so many Gods and Goddesses in our Hindu mythology. Even though we adore and worship each one with equal reverence, there is bound to be a favorite. The one to whom you pray to when in trouble and thank when happy. The one you make promises with in order to get what you want. As I kid I always adored Krishna. The mischievous, flirtatious and handsome cowboy. In fact I also went through the Meera bai phase wherein I wanted to marry no one but Krishna. Every Janamastmi I used to dress up like Radha in lehanga choli, kumkum bindi’s, flowers in hair, bangles and anklets in order to woo Krishna into marrying me.

Picture Courtesy - www.99share.in

As I matured into the smart young lady I am today (:D), I felt a heart-felt inclination and connection towards Shirdi Sai Baba. Though everyone in my family is a firm devotee and I too held reverence for baba in heart but it was only when I was around 16, I had a spiritual awakening which drew me like a magnet towards baba. I prayed regularly, read books and savored his name. Now for any baba lover, Shirdi is like the ultimate destination. I first went to Shirdi in the year 1994 when I was 5 years old. I do have some hazy memories from the trip like living in the Sansthan, the common washrooms, having dosa for the first time. But the one thing that I vividly remember till date is that we visited some place there (probably khandoba temple) where there was a big statue of baba in red kafni. The 5 year old me was not so keen on respectfully bowing to the statue so when no one was looking, I gave a big hug to the statue.

I always had this wish to see that statue again and redo the hug. But studies, college and myriad of other things made it difficult for my parents to plan another trip to Shirdi. Even after spending almost around 4 years in Mumbai, it was only recently in July’2014 that I again got a chance to visit. We had the good fortune of getting darshan on gurupoornima but I had no luck of seeing that red dress statue. I thought it was in the nearby khandoba temple but sadly it wasn’t. I happened to discuss this with the cool hall girl S (previously mentioned here) who is also Sai baba devotee. She made me happy by saying that there is a big murti in the prasadalaya and that just might be the thing I was looking for. Restless and excited I requested forced cool hall girl S for a trip to shirdi. So off we went with our last minute planning, last seats on bus, turning all hither and thither all the way to shirdi. After a nice darshan and aarti, we went off to prasadalaya to hug the red statue. It was mid-afternoon and sunny, under normal circumstances I would have played the Barbie doll complaining about the heat and demanding an auto ride (overtly high prices be dammed). But I kept walking, the thought of hugging and reuniting with my 20 year old friend kept giving me surges of energy.

My hopes were dashed when we entered the premises because there was no red statue but instead a huge one which was by no means huggable because it started right where by 5 feet 4 inch frame ended. Disheartened we went back to our bus stop in the high priced auto. All the way back I got to thinking that having covered almost the entire town of shirdi how can it be that red murti is so difficult to find. It really made me doubt that maybe I just dreamed the entire thing up. However deep in my heart I still do believe that it is there somewhere waiting to be hugged with love and devotion. Till then I am keeping Sharada (faith) & Saburi (patience)! BTW the murti looks somewhat like the picture below.

Picture Courtesy - www.shirdisaibabaexperiences.org

While we are on the topic of Shirdi, I do have a bone to pick about a few things I noticed in my last two visits. I agree that the huge throngs of pilgrims has brought a lot of boon in terms of business for the people of shirdi. But to misuse that in the name of religion is extremely wrong. Just outside the temple all the Prasad shops are looking for ways to make a fool out of us. They give you big thali's with coconuts although they are fully aware that coconuts are not allowed inside the temple. They will adamantly push saraswati yantra, flowers, shawls and clothes into your hands. And most often than not they do succeed in persuading the poor confused visitors. Everyone wants to do their best to please god so the Prasad business is the thriving one. Even when you are back from temple to collect your shoes they won’t stop. They will showcase incense sticks, sandalwood powder, oils, keychains and various other stuffs – all with beautiful pictures of Sai baba which makes it all the more difficult to say no. Its fine to sell all these things but let the buyer decide what he wants, the pushing-the-stuff-in-our-face is what I have an issue with. Then there was a group of eunuchs holding a piece of cloth with baba’s picture on it and collecting money. I have never read or heard any story about eunuchs and baba. They have apparently found an easy way to earn money which again is very wrong. Then there are beggars dressed like baba, obviously to attract more money from visitors. But the thing that literally made my blood boil was the rickshawala’s. They are soo ill-mannered, rude and topping the charts for extorting unnecessary money.

The peculiar thing is that once you have Sai Baba’s darshan, you forget all these things and attain that peaceful-awesome-happy feeling. I had wanted to write this angry post back in July and I was formulating it in my mind whilst in the queue for darshan. But as soon as I saw Sai baba decked in beautiful floral print I forgot all complains and grumbles of mine. And instead enjoyed the yummy salt smeared fresh guavas and blood red pearly pomegranates.

Om Sai Ram

Love
Sepo

And We Are 5!

Picture Courtesy - startribune.com

2014 was like a blur. Really. One moment we were celebrating its entrance and just like that we are celebrating the closure. It just seems like yesterday I was composing a 4 year post and now here we are – Rejoicing 5th birthday of Rendezvous. Last year I had big plans setup for the blogging arena and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I did succeed in accomplishing most of them. Guest blogging – check! New template – Check! Freelance writing – check! And most importantly Google AdSense – Check!

Though I still have to figure out how the AdSense thing works but I just can’t explain how happy I feel looking at those advertisements popping on the right hand side. Moving on, I also got an amazing opportunity to showcase some of my work at Seeups – a one stop point for all information you need for startups, technology and business. We also feature new startups and ventures on our portal. Do visit, like us and contact in case you would like to get featured. Though it’s been roughly just around a month, the amount of learning and the experience of working with an awesome team is unmatched! Conducting interviews, taking to clients gives such a journalist-kind-of-vibe. Plus spotting my photo in the team description gives me butterflies in stomach and a big smile. Every single time!

Keeping aside the giddiness, wish you all a very Happy New Year. Stay healthy, happy and blessed.

Love:
Sepo

Tryst with Terror

It was a usual day of chirpiness in the marriage house. One day after the wedding and a delicious spread of kashur wazvan, everyone in the close family including the dulhan (bride) now was just getting started to a very familiar routine of chitchat, jokes and teasing. Kids were running around in the garden playing games. Adults were discussing arrangements for the impending reception. Young guns were glued to their smartphones. The house keepers had just started to have their dinner when some policemen came outside informing them to shut the doors as there was some firing in a place less than 1km from where we were. It took even less than 1 min for the tempo to change in the room we were in.

Panic set like a wild fire amongst all. The cheerful mood quickly changed to an atmosphere of uncertainty and fear. Children were hastily brought indoors. The gates were shut and wedding decoration lights all over the house switched off, so as not to attract any unwanted attention. While some were trying to find the remote to the up-the-way-hosted television which the cartoon watching children had misplaced some days back, others were impatiently trying to access TOI and NDTV on their 2G enabled smartphones (there is no 3G in J&K. Until now.) Since the firing incident was actually happening that time and the area where it was said to be is not a central location, there was no breaking news updates found anywhere even hours after the incident. Being a slow eater I had just taken a second helping of the kokur (Chicken) when this entire fiasco happened. Needless to say I lost my appetite within no time.

Some men folk tried to play brave hearts by venturing into the streets to check the scenario outside but were quickly (and angrily) rushed inside by terrified women. All the drama and worried look on all the adults really got to the children and many started crying. Little ones with no idea as to what was happening and older ones with a faint idea (having been brought up in the state where people are used to such happenings). Many decided to leave for the homes to avoid getting stuck should the firing continue and god forbidden curfew enforced. Guests from other states with no experience of such kind were petrified and rushed to their respective rooms bolting them securely. The poor bride already scared was instructed to cover up as much as possible because of different types of gold she was decked up with. The host of the wedding suggested all of us not to panic but not before informing us that usually the intent of such attacks is mass-killing and since we were a more-than-ten-member party, we needed to be cautious.

As the number of people reduced and with everyone struggling with the siege silently we could actually hear the firing shots. The people who left called saying that they saw a lot of police vehicles patrolling towards the site. With no concrete piece of information at hand, everyone was feeling helpless and not to mention tired, the wedding functions, sleepless nights had taken a toll on everyone. Staying out from Jammu for so long me and most of other guests there had no clue as to who to contact for obtaining a substantial piece of news. I somehow remembered one of my friend ~ with the right politico-socio contacts. Though he stays in Shimla I was keeping my fingers crossed and praying that he should be in Jammu. He wasn’t but he assured that he will check and update. He called back with the information that has some boy has opened fire but it’s nothing serious and we can go back home safely.

The piece of news bought a sigh of relief but we were still skeptical because my house is just a road cross away from where the incident apparently tool place. We reached the house, quickly locked up and went inside. But none of us could sleep. So we sat talking and discussing about the day’s events and similar events we had witnessed while growing up in Jammu. Once there was an attack at Jammu railway station which is again near to our house. There were no mobiles that time and we were just praying for our dear ones to be safe. Our school once received a call stating that there would be an attack when the school got over. There was an army cantonment near our school so this threat was taken seriously. Throngs of police and army were deployed outside the school. Though the call turned out to be a hoax, it did not stop the panic attacks amongst students, teachers and parents. Also an inclusion of what-to-do-in-case-of-emergency drill for us students. Then there was a bomb blast at Daler Mehandi’s concert which my father was attending. Bomb blast at M.A stadium on republic day where my sister and cousins were performing. This and many other instances but none of these match the predicament of what our parents had to suffer in Kashmir during the holocaust of early 90s.

Photo Courtesy - koausa.org

It was around midnight, our parents were rudely woken with loudspeaker calls from mosques urging Muslim youngsters to fight for jihad and Kashmiri Hindus to either convert or leave. Peeking through the windows, clutching their little ones close, everyone was terrified. Even their next door Muslim neighbours and friends with whom they had grown up were seen marching on the roads with Ak-47s shouting slogans – “Hum kya chahte Azadi”, “Kashmir main chalega nizam-e-mustafa”, “We want Kashmir with Kashmiri Hindu women but without their men”. This continued till wee hours of morning after which curfew was imposed. What was to follow would leave a huge imprint on all our destinies. Hindu homes were looted, women raped, children gruesomely murdered. All these activities were combined with a direct message to leave or bear consequences. Amid the lawlessness there was no upfront support from the government considering the fact that Kashmiri Hindus were a minority in Kashmir. Living in constant fear with no news of dear ones, in freezing cold of January with no proper food and little children, most families decided to flee. Not in their wildest dreams imagining that it would be the last time they would be seeing their homes, gardens and the city where they were born.

A lot people ask me that whether I belong to the community who were driven from their homes, they somehow find it funny. What they don’t understand is the pain that simple comment invokes. Like anyone would just easily give up their homes, school, colleges, jobs. But what option did we have against the AK-47s, the ruthlessness and no support what so ever. Anyhow, after a night full of fearful dreams we woke up to the news of exactly what happened – a domestic help aged 14 years stole an Ak-47, burst into a slum near my house (also where our helper stays). He shot 2 people before getting caught by the police. It was that day I understood what a close contact with terror feels like. And how my parents and relatives would have felt on that dark cold January night and many other days and nights they had spent praying for miracles which never happened.

God bless all
Love
Sepo

To Pee Or Not To Pee

With the Swatch Bharat Abhyaan going about in full swing, every now and then some or the other celebrity is spotted on the page 3 with the long handled broom. Since our magnificent PM is driving this initiative, just like him this move has a lot of charismatic coverage on both press and print. The huge hoardings, the informative advertisements on television and in movie theaters is surely going to bring about atleast some amount of necessary change. But still the average Indian mentality remains to keep the home spic and span but to do hell with the roads, public transport, washrooms, historic monuments, gardens etc. We all have witnessed peanut shells on the train floors, banana peels on footpaths, heaps of garbage on roadsides, un flushed littered public restrooms, X loves Y inscribed on the walls of historic monuments. Visit Qutub Minar and you will be a witness to half of love stories of Delhi and the small caves on sides will smell like piss. Don’t know what they were used for earlier but visitors have probably found a good sneaky place to pee in them.

Photo Courtesy - thehindu.com

And let’s not get into the part of how our men attend the call of nature wherever they find place. Walls, bushes, highways just about anywhere. Moving traffic, dogs, cows, women nothing intimidates them. It is us women who are taught from childhood to control and be mature about everything, including the call of nature. Usually there are no public washrooms so on long distance travels you have to entirely rely on petrol pumps and roadside dhabbas or some really heavy bushy areas. I say this with experience, once on a road trip from Jammu to Delhi I was under siege of a severe bout of stomach infection. So the journey was prolonged by slow driving to spot prospective restaurants and havelis (Haveli is a popular chain of highway joints at Jalander, Karnal and Ambala. Designed and styled as to drown in Punjabi culture, they are a must visit for both intake and outtake) for me. Even if you are lucky to spot a surlabh shrochalay the smell flowing within the radius of 2 foot will make you forget the pressure you were experiencing and you will decide that teaching your bladder/intestines the art of control is probably a better idea.

Photo Courtesy - blog.coverall.com

Let’s face it, we all have at one point or the other littered the roads, wrote on rupee notes, spat indecently. I have on many occasions done the same (except the spit part). But off late I try my best to store any trash in my bag and throw it only when I spot a dustbin. However I do have a bone to pick up with people who dirty the place around them for no apparent reason. Don’t flush after using the restroom. I would be mortified to leave a restroom dirty, knowing that someone is bound to use it just after me. And mind you, this is done by Zara wearing Esbeda carrying ladies and they show no sign of remorse even when you give them a look which says ~ you are disgusting. Then there is my roommate well educated and arrogant. After shower she leaves a bunch of hair in the drain which I absolutely loathe. But this time I though instread of using the usual direct confrontation I will try something different. So I removed the hair every time thinking that she will get the hint. She chose to ignore my good gesture and continued to dirty the washroom. She is leaving soon and I am not keeping my fingers crossed for any last minute miracles. If you ask me, her post graduate degree, the supposed hi-profile job or the branded clothes all go to vain when you don’t have the basic civic sense. It just makes you uneducated and crass. At least in my eyes.

Tata Consultancy Services, the IT giant has pledged Rs 100 crore on toilets for girls across schools in India as a part of PMs Clean India Initiative. Here’s hoping for more public (and cleaner) washrooms. As much as I miss shopping in local markets I am also thankful for malls and the restrooms in it. Without them shopping for long durations used to be nightmare. Not long ago the trio, popularly known as the gossip girls went hobnobbing in the SoBo. After a (very) hearty lunch, drinks and way too many caramel custards at the parsi café we set off to Crawford Market. The office friend previously mentioned here and here was accompanying and wanted to buy utensils. Someone had told her that apparently the utensils sold here are of best quality and cheap. So off we went utensil shopping.

Entering Crawford market we spot myriad of stuffs – belts, shoes, fruits, showpieces, bags, toys but not a single utensil in sight. This is June and monsoon is delayed so we are just aimlessly waking in the scorching sun. After few inquires a kind man tells us that the shop is near a distant tree. That tree is so far and the heat has affected my brain so hard that I find it difficult to judge whether it’s real or a mirage. Amidst the walk and shouting abuses at the utensil-lover-friend all of us feel the need to pee. Now this is old Mumbai we are in and there is no restaurant or café or restroom in site. The bisleri's we have been drinking to beat the heat aren't helping either. Plus the tree does not seem to get any nearer. We do spot a dhabba but the conservative looking men in there do not seem too thrilled with us, dressed in all fashionable finery. So we contemplate going to some house and requesting them to let us use their washroom but then decide against it. While walking we somehow stumble outside a temple and rejoice at the sight. We ask the watchman of the washroom status, he nods in agreement and we are like hallelujah!

We are let through some dark stairs into an alley with rooms full of saree clad women busy with their rosaries. The place is eerily quiet and little scary. Somehow we reach the restroom and lo and behold what do we spot! It’s more like an array of changing rooms. There is no drain, no hole but its smelly proving that it has been used before. Desperate and left with no other option we decide to go ahead and do the business. Even after scrubbing our feet with water and wet wipes we felt dirty. Just talking about it makes me wanna have a bath. After unsuccessfully trying to forget the dirty episode we finally made it to the tree and thank heavens the utensil shop. We also decide to forgive the utensil buying friend for making us walk 2km after she promises to feed us pomfret fry made on her newly bought aluminum tawa. Needless to say after that day she has never mentioned the pomfret fry. Ever.

We had a similar where-to-pee incident when on a trip to Alibaug and a trek to Bhimashakar. We had to find some heavy bushes and keep two girls out on watch for infiltrators. There is a reason girls avoid eating and drinking on long distance trips. Now you guys know how difficult it is for us girls. I am awaiting the day when we don’t have to fret about this and will have easy access to clean public restrooms. Till then we will drink less on outings, exercise bladder control and fully support & participate actively in Swatch Bharat Abhiyaan.

Photo Courtesy - financialexpress.com

Jai Ho! 

Love:
Sepo

P.S The title of this post has been “inspired” from SATC Season 3 Episode 2.

When are you getting married?

Is it just me or has the standard greeting changed from “hello, how are you?” to “When are you getting married”. I suddenly have a new found respect for Salman khan. With the entire nation going crazy over his marital status. And the sheer volume of marriage questions he is asked, I can imagine how he must feel. After a certain age people just automatically start excepting things from you.

The moment you pass your 10th standard people want to know the subject you elected for. Then after 12th they are keenly involved with you in the college selection process. For another three to four years they won’t give a damn about what you do (except for the result days). But as soon as you graduate they will be back, wanting to know about your plans for future. Further studies or job. If its job they will ask you whether or not you got it every time they see you, even if it is consecutive days. Once you do land a job, after a peaceful tenure of two to three years they will be back and this time with a more ulterior motive – Marriage.

You know you are in trouble when your Facebook page start highlighting your friends changing their relationship status from Single to Engaged on a regular basis. The time of your doom is not far away. In no time your parents will start to approach you for that special talk and required qualities. Before you even realize what’s happening there will be tons of prospective profiles thrown at you with the intent of you choosing them on the basis of overtly edited picture and highly technical (and bogus) qualifications. Then there are ever friendly and helping auntyji’s who will leave no stone unturned to find a perfect match for you. They will sit will chai-biscuit turn their entire family (and extended family) tree upside down and draw out atleast two to three ideal matches for you – with money, looks and property.

Things start to get scary when people apart from your parents, friends and the auntyji’s start taking interest in your marital status and when your friends start to post updates of their first kid. I am in that scary place right now. In the last few weeks people ranging from random colleagues to acquaintances to housekeeping people have asked me when I am getting married. When I refused to meet an old friend multiple times, he automatically assumed that I am engaged. It’s like wherever I go there’s going to be some or the other marriage talk. My office consoling friend, previously mentioned here does again nothing to sooth my nerves. In fact she tells me that in Maharashtrian society a girl of 25 has to marry a boy of 32 because a guy of 25, 26 will always want a girl of 22. In the IT sector where 24 year olds have pot bellies, image of a 32 year old with 5 month pregnant belly and male pattern baldness gives me creeps. Also she adds that when you marry at the right age, which is 24 you have proper time to enjoy for 2,3 years and then plan for a baby at 28 which again is the perfect age for the first baby. Then by 32 you would have the second baby and be absolutely free to “enjoy your life” by 35.

I was at this crossroads few years back as well and that too has resulted in a very frustrated blogpost. I can’t believe I am back there and this time with a situation graver than the last. What scares me more is that back then I could atleast imagine myself doing something ~ studying in a MBA college, working in some software company or helping my mother by washing utensils/clothes. But in this case I just can’t imagine myself married, living with a guy, cooking and cleaning his stuff. My imagination just stops at the wedding dress, shopping and jewellery after that it’s all just a dark black hole for me. This just indicates that I am mentally not ready for marriage. Being the youngest in my family for a long time, I was always dependent on my parents and sisters for all my critical life decisions. So somewhere down the line I just did not grow up, in my head I am still a little girl. I am still into hairbands and funky jewellery. Marriage therefore scares the shit out of me. I start getting panic attacks the moment anyone utters the M words. I am waiting for myself and my brain to make peace and take its time getting used to the idea of being married. I am ok with this but I guess society is not. That can be the only reason for people going bonkers over my non-married status.

All this got me thinking to whether we marry because we are ready and want to or just because people expect as to. Do we marry for the society? Buckling under the pressure? Because after a certain age it just seems normal to get hitched and avoid questions or raised eyebrows? Do we just settle down to avoid being alone at gatherings and weddings? To present that picture perfect image of ours to people…however blurred or distorted that image maybe from inside. I for one feel that marriage has been given way too much importance in our society. Let people be, they will get married when they want to. And that’s not all, even when people do get married the very next thing people expect from them is the inevitable “good news”. So overall it is just a vicious circle.

My future plan does include marriage but I don’t want my life to revolve around it. There is just so much I still have not done. I know I sound like a wistful teenager but it is the truth. There are so many things to be done, horizons to be reached, places to go, canvases to be painted, shoes to be bought, book to be written, revenges to be plotted, experiments to be done, get drunk and what not. Lots of what nots.





Heres raising a toast to not getting married.
Cheers
Sepo


Pssssst ... This is a picture free post, the absence is attributed to laziness.