The Superwoman Syndrome

Remember last year during the first lockdown, when all of us were suddenly deprived of the comfort that our respective helps bring? It was sure a difficult time for all. The scare of corona, truck loads of work and by work I mean all sorts of work imaginable and possible and to top it all up, everyone in the house traped together without any breaks what so ever.  

However after some time we all did get somewhat acquainted with the entire routine. Hell, we even cooked up different storms in the kitchen. Deprived of favorite foods and bored out of wits - everyone became a chef of sorts. People created pages on instagram to showcase their skills and all the deliciousness they were indulging in right from momos to samosas and everything in between.

It was around this time, right between Dalgona coffee and banana bread ~ that Amul created a cartoon acknowledging the support and extra work that womenfolk were doing. The said cartoon had a lady with a laptop and a kid besides her. She was probable on a work call, keeping an eye on the kid and his homework, while counting the whistles from the cooker in the background. 

I had shared this picture in all the social media handles, it felt good that someone acknowledged the efforts that women do, were doing and had done since forever.

Not realized it at that time but it was what our patriarchal  society has done for centuries. A pat on the back and encouragement to just go on. There are numerous marketing campaigns showcasing and praising the superwomens, super moms who just do it all. Have a career, take care of the kids, manage the homes, parents and inlaws, hit the gym, look like a million bucks and have it all together. With this comes immense pressure on others who question their very existence on why if she can do it why can't I. I can, I will and I must. And there you have it, the cartoon where the man is mysteriously missing. Probably giving his undivided attention to work.

The patriarchy is so deeply encrusted in our minds that we feel extremely guilty if we somehow falter in accomplishing these imaginary goals set for women. I remember having this feeling when I had to employ a cook because of an extremely busy time at work. What didnt help to easy the guilt were comments like "its not really that difficult to cook for two". And uncalled suggestions like "if you wake up early... ". Well have you thought for a second that maybe I dont want to wake up early? There is absolutely nothing wrong in either taking or hiring help. And no one, I repeat no one has the right to shame anyone for doing so.

There are still a lot of things and works that have a gender stereotype attached to it. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids is primarily the job of women. And if by any chance a man does invest or help - the woman is considered to be very "lucky". It has become my goal to shatter these gender based stereotypes. And also to NOT be the super woman. Nope. I don't aspire to be a overworked super women.  I'd rather be lazy and happy than be patted on my back and stressful. 

Ladies, please get your men into the kitchen and beyond.  Divide your responsibilities.  Create a chart, a schedule do what ever it takes. Create a good example for your kids. And whatever you do, please don't ask your daughters to get water for her brother. And eat the damn food with the guests, we really need to abolish the women-will-eat-later rule.

Love:

The un - superwomen

Sepo