Whenever I go back in time, I always see myself as the girl who was the thinest of all. It was a usual thing for me to be an audience to the long lectures accompanied by tch tch of Auntyji's at any social gathering that I happpened to be a part of. Everyone related to me (and not related to me) was concerned about my weight. Not to mention I was also a butt of many a jokes amongst cousins and friends.
Needless to say I was never proud of my thin status. It made me painfully self conscious and extremely shy. During my growing years I tried everything I could to stay away from any kind of limelight. Which basically means that I did nothing of which I can tell my kids about. As I grew up and entered my teens, I got a lot of attention from the well, ahem opposite sex. I must say it had a little bit of good impact on me. It managed to increase my self confidence a teeny weeny bit. But it also brought about new troubles. The more I got attracted towards vanity, the madder I became selecting jeans that wouldn't sit on my waist. Tops that looked like hanging on a hanger.
Over the years however I become very confident of the way I looked. In fact I liked how I looked a lot. The credit for that goes to my absolutely fabulous parents and friends, who never once made me feel like an alien. As I became sensible with time I realized that if people who matter expect and love me the way I am then I am fine the way I am. All through my growing years in school to college, I followed this range of weight which varied from 38 Kg to 42 Kgs.
Soon after college I shifted to Mumbai and everyone including me thought that I would soon become invisible. First time away from home, new city, new atmosphere, no cooking experience, hectic lifestyle and busy schedule, all factors taken together would definitely take a toll on my slight 40 Kg frame. But surprise surprise, all these factors did something totally unexpected. I started putting on weight at an alarming speed. It's now almost a year that I am in Mumbai and I have put on a staggering, well, hold your breath 10 Kilos of Weight!!!!! Initially I was OK with it but not any more. Firstly, it is the unhealthy fat gained from my initial days food - Pizzas, Burgers, Maggies, Tandoori Rotis, Butter Naans and Lots of Chicken. Secondly, because it is at all the wrong places.
Now I know that it's not good (neither to look at and nor for my health). But I fail to do anything about it, that motivation (to get up early in the morning or for any thing productive) is missing. I will not stop eating, that I know for sure. I have always been a big foodie, even when I was skinny. Somehow that time miraculously I did not put on any weight but now sigh, the story is quite different. So what I need is just a set up of routine, because I know that when that routine is set up, no one can break it! But sadly I am unable to create that routine.
Till then I would have to hear exclamatory sentences like "Oh my God,You have put on weight". I mean, Hello, what's your problem? You did not like me thin, you don't let me be fat. What the hell is wrong with people? They can't be satisfied, I am telling you!