Whenever I go back in time, I always see myself as the girl who was the thinest of all. It was a usual thing for me to be an audience to the long lectures accompanied by tch tch of Auntyji's at any social gathering that I happpened to be a part of. Everyone related to me (and not related to me) was concerned about my weight. Not to mention I was also a butt of many a jokes amongst cousins and friends.
Needless to say I was never proud of my thin status. It made me painfully self conscious and extremely shy. During my growing years I tried everything I could to stay away from any kind of limelight. Which basically means that I did nothing of which I can tell my kids about. As I grew up and entered my teens, I got a lot of attention from the well, ahem opposite sex. I must say it had a little bit of good impact on me. It managed to increase my self confidence a teeny weeny bit. But it also brought about new troubles. The more I got attracted towards vanity, the madder I became selecting jeans that wouldn't sit on my waist. Tops that looked like hanging on a hanger.
Over the years however I become very confident of the way I looked. In fact I liked how I looked a lot. The credit for that goes to my absolutely fabulous parents and friends, who never once made me feel like an alien. As I became sensible with time I realized that if people who matter expect and love me the way I am then I am fine the way I am. All through my growing years in school to college, I followed this range of weight which varied from 38 Kg to 42 Kgs.
Soon after college I shifted to Mumbai and everyone including me thought that I would soon become invisible. First time away from home, new city, new atmosphere, no cooking experience, hectic lifestyle and busy schedule, all factors taken together would definitely take a toll on my slight 40 Kg frame. But surprise surprise, all these factors did something totally unexpected. I started putting on weight at an alarming speed. It's now almost a year that I am in Mumbai and I have put on a staggering, well, hold your breath 10 Kilos of Weight!!!!! Initially I was OK with it but not any more. Firstly, it is the unhealthy fat gained from my initial days food - Pizzas, Burgers, Maggies, Tandoori Rotis, Butter Naans and Lots of Chicken. Secondly, because it is at all the wrong places.
Now I know that it's not good (neither to look at and nor for my health). But I fail to do anything about it, that motivation (to get up early in the morning or for any thing productive) is missing. I will not stop eating, that I know for sure. I have always been a big foodie, even when I was skinny. Somehow that time miraculously I did not put on any weight but now sigh, the story is quite different. So what I need is just a set up of routine, because I know that when that routine is set up, no one can break it! But sadly I am unable to create that routine.
Till then I would have to hear exclamatory sentences like "Oh my God,You have put on weight". I mean, Hello, what's your problem? You did not like me thin, you don't let me be fat. What the hell is wrong with people? They can't be satisfied, I am telling you!
u r awesome..
ReplyDeletehmm!
Deletehttp://www.thehindu.com/health/fitness/article2966667.ece
Deletejust came across smething useful..:p
Ha ha ha ha, good to see yourself growing.
ReplyDeleteYea!
DeleteWOW...one more similarity between me and u :P
ReplyDeleteI was also so thin that ppl used to call me as "sikiya pahalwan" which means "ekdam ladki jaisa patla dubla pahalwan" :P
and u r absolutely right...ppl always used to tell me that "be fat...u will look good", now ppl ask me to loose some weight :P
People are people abhi, they can only find the faults :)
DeleteBut a "Yeah" for one more similarity!
I'm still on the lighter side but i hope soon i'll also get to write a similar story :-P
ReplyDeleteand mind u, u r just fabulous
Love You!
Deleteoh my god! You were a cutie when you were a good and a hottie now! ;)
ReplyDeleteI've always been on the thin side and I still am. I was conscious of it when i was a kid but now its part of who I am.. got used to it! As long as I am healthy I don't mind! :))
♥ www.thegirlatfirstavenue.com
Thanks dearie!!
DeleteIts really important to be comfortable in your skin, it brings out an amazing positive energy from within!
oops! typo.. *when you were a kid!
ReplyDeleteProbably just your metabolism slowing down. Don't focus so much on being thin or fat, it doesn't matter. All that matters is being healthy, so just do some kind of physical activity that you love everyday, and everything should be fine! :)
ReplyDeleteYes Sumitra, dear you are absolutely right!
DeleteIn fact I have already started walking, lets see till what time it continues :)
oooof super nice post baby girl buddy:)
ReplyDeleteThanks DUDE! :)
DeleteWhoa! You managed to gain that much weight! I'd say Bravo! if you were fully happy with it :D
ReplyDeleteI currently weigh about 40kg - a bit unusual for a 25-yr-old, at least in the U.S. The good thing is, though, that my BMI is normal, so I'm not unhealthy (I'm short as well, thankfully :p).... I can't remember a time in my life in which my height and/or weight had a negative effect on me, my confidence, my personality, etc., but there was a time during which friends and I'd fight a lot over my weight because they insisted I'd never get married or be able to have kids. It bothered me when they'd say that because there was/is nothing I can do about my weight: gratefully, my metabolism is very high.
But I certainly do hope to be able to have kids one day! Well, I have a friend who's almost as tiny as I am, and she recently gave birth to a gorgeous little daughter, so I think I have hope :D
And growing up, I, too, was always the thinnest girl among relatives, and when I went to Pakistan this summer, EVERYONE was shocked at how I've barely changed, not gained much weight during the last decade. But their reasoning was nothing deep: they just want me to get fat only and only so that I can get good proposal (in that part of the world, the fatter a girl, the more proposals she gets!), and they also weren't delighted that I, an American, am not as light-skinned as they had expected and hoped. So their reasons for me to "change" were too shallow for me to consider, so I ended up telling them to shut up 'cause I wasn't planning to submit to their beauty ideals!
I know!! Kids and Marriage, as if its all that matters, WTH, pisses me off like anything. One thing is clear India or Pak, when it comes to the weighty issues, its same old same old! :(
Deleteyou look great ...
ReplyDeletedoesnt matters what people say and think..
you're happy that's it..
be yourself... ;)
-- Maddy
Sneha
ReplyDeleteThat's amazing. When I realize how there are so many in the world facing the wrath of such unfairness. I was so thin as well and how people were laughing at me. I felt bad. I faced the wrath of my own family members. I recall how people were telling mom and dad, feed this boy. I was so embarassed at such stupidity. Now, the world can go to hell. Feel like telling them FUCK OFF, you losers:)
hi sneha ji:)
ReplyDeleteu created again gem of the post... as name specifies... it is treat to read and by d way... u are total matrimonial materiel now :P
ReplyDelete