Sunday, December 20, 2009

its a small part of a book i m riting pls do comment and point out errors.

It was late in the night past midnight and Tiara was as usual on da comp. as usual reading an eBook. This had been her favourite past time for about an year now downloading books from da net nd reading voraciously. She had been an avid reader from the very beginning of her lyf . she grew up reading archies and Enid blaytons. Reading gave us an immense pleasure, a sense of being in some other world far from everything else, far from her own life...Amongst the characters of the books she read.

Tiara had an easy life ... dere was nothing out of the ordinary about her life and it wasn like she wasn happy . She was. But......

She always did the same things. Dere was no excitement in her lyf no surprises no special people..

She lived Geneva. She came here 2 years ago in search for a job (read high profile with good financial prospects) , however she failed to get any such job . she worked in a library from 9 to 6 though her pay was essentially minimal most of its part went to her parents in brazil. She had learned to be sufficiently happy with wtevr little amt of money she ws left wid.

She lived in a rented rat house of a room which was off course cheap and suited her well. Apart from her working hours in the library, she spent all of her tyme in her small room, ate in cheap nearby restaurants. this is how her life worked ... get up in the morning get ready, take a bus and off to work, back by 7 in the evening .. Relax.. Use the net ,go for dinner , come back read books until she was dead tired and go off to sleep. This is the way her life was going on since the last two years.

She was 23, had no boyfriend, no friends either. She din have any contact in Geneva, talked to no one. But this was by choice she had wanted it to be like this. To lead a secluded life. She had come to Geneva to gain a strong foothold and to become independent, though not fully bit she had primarily succeeded in her plan and aspirations... she could not afford to be distracted. She had to work single mindedly and achieve the goals she had set for herself.

She was not conventionally good looking but was not ordinary looking as well .there were many an instances where by the passer bys would not hesitate a bit to take another look at her. She had expressive and very beautiful eyes which she kept hidden under her glasses. It wasent very uncommon for her to receive proposals , or lewd comments from men , actually men of all types made advances towards her single , attractive, handsome, married, drunkards, pimps. But she never entertained anybody neither felt even slightly attracted to any of them. It was true that she missed being close to someone, missed the fact that there was no one to hug when went home, no one to tell her miseries to but she refrained from admitting so even to herself. She knew if she entertained such thoughts she will end up being weak and sorry for herself and that was the last thing she wanted.

As far as tiara could remember from childhood she had only one vivid dream -to be financially independent and away from home particularly her dad. She had hated her dad ever since she was a little girl. She had hated the way he talked to her mum, she hated the way he was always nagging anybody and everybody. She hated how he hated her, hated her for being a girl. Hated him when he stopped her studies, hated him even worse when he taunted her that she will never succeed and come back home. But it was also his taunts that gave her every day the strength to carry on working hard for her life.

The library tiara worked in was exceptionally uncrowded that day and tiara usually quite busy in her working hours, took the opportunity to read some latest fashion magazine although she was least interested in fashion. It was precisely after noon an immaculately dressed gentleman entered the premises.

He looked a little disturbed and even though tiara never stuck a conversation with anybody, she somehow decided to help the gentleman. “sir, may i help u”.? “errr m afraid no ...emmm actually i m in a bit of trouble, the thing is that my secretary has suddenly decided to quit the job and there is an important firm coming next week”. “i have no time i want someone fast , actually i was very disturbed and just came here to distract myself i think i ll better be leaving now ... well nice meeting you young lady”.

Tiara gave a quick thought to what the gentleman just said ... he required a secretary a job tiara could to better than the very best, she knew it. This was the kind of job she had wanted all along and she had to get it any which way.
interrupting her own thoughts she ran after the gentleman. “Err excuse me sir”. Surprised the man turned. “Sir I am totally qualified for the job of ur secretary i know i can do it”. The man smiled slightly “ young lady its not what it seems to be, its not an easy job”. “have u got any experience, its very different from the job u r doing, it required a great presence of mind and logical thinking and a hell lot of hard work”. Tiara knew she had all that it required for the job and more but she could not get the words . “sir please give me a chance to at least show what i have got.. if u don’t like my work u can happily chuck me out”. The man smiled again this time widely “ okie girl lets see what u can do by the way i m Keith and this is my card, it has the address and all the details”. “ thank you so much keith i m tiara by the way”. “ okie tiara ill see u tomorrow 10 30”.

Tiara din know what do to how to react. Her life was a stride of monotonous events since the last two years and suddenly she was experiencing an emotion which was totally alien to her. She was happy. Yes she was very very happy. But she had a lot in her mind. A lot had to be done. First and foremost she had to buy a few clothes. He had to look presentable after all for her first day at work. So first time in her job at the library she took half day and went off to shop. She could not go to fancy high profile showrooms. So he decided on a cheap store with a big banner of SALE. Tiara never had any dilemma while shopping for clothes, she would generally pick the thing that first caught her eye and get away with it. But today it was different, she was excited, yes very excited. She wanted to make sure that she looked good. Proper, business like.

After spending almost more than an hour in the store, tiara finally made up her mind to buy the black jacket, crisp white shirt and the sexy pencil fit skirt. On her way back up she stopped at a hairstylist and spent the rest of her money there. It seemed like ages since she was actually looking forward to something, feeling utterly excited about something. She felt giddy and content. Somehow she was very sure that she will prove herself very well tomorrow. It was a big day for her so she decided to eat and sleep early.

But she could hardy sleep, she was overcome by excitement. She already had started planning strategies. She woke up very early in the morning after a disturbed sleep. All the excitement was now turning to nervousness. Tiara got ready and tried to relax herself. Unable to find any solace she decided to leave. She thought it would n harm if she reached early.

She did not have any trouble in finding the office. She entered and was stuck by the sophisticated, elegant and fashionable architecture of the office. She next saw the receptionist and immediately felt plain in comparison to her. She looked exotic and was wearing something that looked taken straight from the latest issue of a fashion magazine. Tiara went up to her confidently and asked r about Keith. “u must be the new secretary, please wait here Keith will be here within a few minutes”. tiara was strangely both nervous and confident at the same time. She began reading a magazine to relax her nerves.

Kieth was in the office just after a few minutes. In the office he was no longer that friendly gentleman who tiara had met just yesterday. Instead he was the boss and there was definite aura about him. The moment he entered the whole office seemed to come alive, suddenly everybody was busy and there was life in each and every corner. Keith wished tiara and asked her to follow him. That was the start of tiara’s new innings.

Keith was highly impressed by tiara’s work, she was impeccably good, Efficient, hardworking and dedicated. She kept to herself and rarely talked to anybody, keith noticed it but decided that it was none of his business, her work was satisfactory and that is what mattered the most to him.

Tiara was happy with her new job, she was paid almost the double of what she got at her previous job. Her mother was extremely happy when the money she sent her increased in amount. And as usual she din hear from her dad. Not that she cared, no she din, not even a bit.

The excitement which had enveloped her in the beginning of her job was now starting to fade. The old routine was starting to follow. After 6 months when she had saved quite an amount of money, tiara shifted into an apartment. It was nothing lavish but was a tad bttr than her previous accommodation. Tiara was happy with the way her life was shaping, she liked her job. It gave her a platform to showcase her talents. Keith was also happy with her work and was beginning to grow on her. He even brought a hike in her salary in less than 6 months.

But all was not well, there was this certain knot inside tiara which refused to cease. She wasent sure wat it was, maybe her heart was yearning 4 something. What ..? she ws nt sure of.....................

One fine day on a Sunday, tiara decided to go for a walk in a nearby park. She took with her a book, sat on the bench and began reading. Soon she was lost in the story. Soon she felt this strange urge to look up, and without any hesitation she suddenly looked up and saw that sitting exactly opposite to her on the bench was a guy not much older than her, who too was intently looking in her direction. She quickly looked away and went back to reading her book. It was not the first time that she had caught someone looking at her. It had happened on various occasions before and she hadn given it much attention the same so she din understand why this time she felt like looking at his direction again.

She did look again and saw that he was staring quite the same way as before. He din even blink an eyelash. Tiara felt utterly uncomfortable, even without looking at him she could feel his gaze all over her. It was odd very odd dat she felt the urge to look at him again , just once. She was that some thing was wrong seriously wrong. Without giving any thing any thot she got up and rushed bak.

the incident left her shaken... she wanted to go home she decided to eat as she was hungry. She ordered her food and sat waiting. Her thots automatically shifted to the face of that stranger, he was handsome yes she had noticed this but hey wait when was the last time she had noticed a random stranger staring at her... she knew there was something seriously rong with her wen she saw the plate of untouched food in front of her gone cold. She stood up to leave , suddenly not feeling hungry at all. She went home to fight with her thots which were again and again drifted towards thar face those eyes.......... she had to stop this , get a hold on herself.

The next day was no better, she had a very little and disturbed sleep.


  1. fab!!
    to be very honest,,,i'm feeling jealous of u as u started ur book b4 mine but it is really awesome!!

  2. it is really cool..i mst sy d vocab is bang on..d use of words is beautiful..i m eagerly waiting 4 more.du write it fast..nd sepo gr8 work so far..really it is lukin lik some proffesional work..keep it up buddy m ur first fan.

  3. see first the fixation wid foreign locales and names is not right. choose places where u hav been to so that u can use the surroundings and culture etc. it may not be true that parents stop girls from studying in other culture cos that may only be a pan asian phenomenon..
    secondly describe the characters physical attributes more vividly so that one can imagine wat the character looks like....
    read some authors who do this effortlessly

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  5. @anonymous
    thanks a lot for your really is of a great importance and value to me. i will surely follow ur advice..!! tc

  6. gud to hear that...
    if u can take criticism this way u'll surely do gr8 things!

  7. steamy....!!
    grt effort..i would say!!...though at some places emotions are the core character could have been christened some other feels like its being written exclusively for english!!.....but i surely wanted to read more of it..keep up d work..all izzz well!! Sahil mengi.

  8. Thats...captivating. And...I think you should put up some stuff like naming the park, the book she was reading etc. You can also pen down Tiara's facial expressions, they'll help the reader to connect better and since the protagonist (Tiara) is more of a person who loves solace and doesn't speak much, it would be good if you present her mind in words.