Stereotyping Much?

Stereotyping is a part of human nature. Period. Except for maybe Dalai Lama and other noble souls. We all have an uncontrollable urge in ourselves to observe people around us and make unrequired/unwanted/unauthorized pieces of judgement about them. Sitting in a food court with my friends, many a times we have passed comments on anything walking on two legs. A cute baby, the overtly romantic couple totally unaware of surroundings, the cola drinking dude, chicken leg enjoying fatty, the solitary eater and salad eating dressed to nines divas. With a single glance it somehow feels that we can predict and calculate some characteristic traits of these people. This is a universal activity which irrespective of the place is omnipresent. And while we are busy judging others there is a very positive chance that at the same time we are the topic of discussion/ridicule/judgement amongst a different group of people. This activity is pretty harmless and a popular topic of gossip amongst all.

The harm comes when we start to stereotype. Some are just etched into our minds from childhood, so even if our adult mind understands or recognizes the correct information our first instinct will always be to go with what’s been imprinted on our minds. Coming from religiously disturbed land of Jammu and Kashmir, the first emotion the word Pakistan derives from me is of strong hate, irrespective of the situation or circumstance. I can’t be in a same room with a person who praises a Pakistani cricketer. My mind knows and understands that its silly but I just can’t help it. For me its brings about haunting memories of migration, loot, gruesome murders, rapes and awkward years growing up in a place away from homeland. Like this we all have some or the other stereotypes that have been passed into our minds through our own experiences, portrayal on television/films, hearsay's, old grandmother tales or some due to sheer stupidity. But trust me, the list is huge.

I will try and venture into it slowly taking one popular stereotype at a time. Since time immemorial women have been the most popular victims of various sexist and stupid stereotypes. Blondes are naturally perceived to be dumb. A lady driving a car becomes a butt of jokes and ridicule. Smoking and drinking will put demeaning labels on you. Having a lot of male friends or ex-boyfriends will make you a slut. Being reserved, talking less to people will make you a snob and being friendly will make you a tease who is just out there to attract all people and attention to her. A well-dressed shoe accessory nail paint coordinating girl is termed as a wannabe. A tattooed girl is considered to be wild and one with wayward ways. Agreeing to a male friend or a colleague for a simple coffee or a movie labels you as easy catch. Strong career women is always considered to be unemotional, ruthless and the one wearing pants at home. And if you are over the ripe age of 26 and unmarried, well then god save you from all the allegations and inquisitive personal questions about your life. What’s all the more hurtful about all this is that it’s not just men but even women who turn up against each other. Which reminds me of another popular stereotype that two women can never be close friends without a fair amount of jealously involved. This is something I totally disagree with, I know we are a little bitchy by nature but there is no way that affects the bonds we have with our girlies. Well, whoever said that girls have it all easy was definitely drunk off his ass.

Picture Courtesy - herahub.com

Moving on to other stereotypes (most of which even I believe in):

1. Models don’t eat.
2. All south Indians are extremely intelligent and eat food cooked in coconut oil.
3. And put coconut oil in their hair always.
4. People from Delhi are over smart.
5. Punjabi’s drink and eat tandoori chicken every day.
6. Haryana is full of farmers and women abusers.
7. Goa is the great Indian party hub.
8. African Americans are all sportsmen.
9. French are Italians are great lovers.
10. Americans are obese
11. Arabs are freakily rich with all the oil money.
12. All Muslims are terrorists.
13. People from J&K have apples trees in their backyards
14. Vanity caring women are only fit for glamorous jobs
15. And don’t get me started on what we have about people from North East

Stereotypes have always existed and I am guessing will continue to stay for a long time. Old ones may die but new ones are sure to sprout. While their existence it pretty harmless to general public it really is a slap on the face when you are a direct victim of it. Over the years I have been stereotyped on numerous occasions. Sometimes it was funny, other times flattering. But mostly irritating and on more than one occasions downright hurtful. Since I am from a state that has been a source of constant trouble and various pre conceived notions, the stereotypes (or myths) are many. We will take them one at a time:

1. Stereotype: Militants and terrorists just roam out and about the city and I must have seen about two dozen of them.  
Reality: If they would have be so easily accessible to general public, there wouldn’t be lakhs of moolah riding on them. In the almost 22 years spent there I haven’t seen even a single terrorist (and boy am I happy for that or what!). Life goes on pretty normal out there, in spite of the unfortunate incidents.

2. Stereotype: Since it’s a small town, education possibilities must be pretty limited.
Reality: Surprise Surprise. J&K boasts of many elite schools and colleges. Ok not as per standards with IIT but we do have our share of recognition. In fact very recently my Alma-Mater, Presentation Convent Senior Secondary has been ranked 10th in a survey conducted by Education World India School Rankings 2014. #so proud#.

Picture Courtesy - facebook.com

3. Stereotype: Jammu main Beauty parlous hai?  
Reality: The two things you will find in every nook and corner of the city are ~ beauty parlous and tuition centers. You would be surprised to see how decked up Auntyji’s are in my part of the world even if out to buy just vegetables or throw garbage. If you are spotted in a night gown outside the premises of your home, well it will be the catalyst for a mini scandal in the city.

4. Stereotype: You have a good dressing sense, why don’t you try modelling?  
Reality: I have a good dressing sense. Thanks! But why does that make me fit for just glamorous jobs and give me a very party going snobbish image. Even a simple girl in any profession of any background with any kind of hobby or something can be fond of dressing up. And has every right to be dressed elegantly and stylishly if she wants to. As long as it’s not vulgar, it’s all good. Even then it’s the girl decision and hence her problem rather than everybody else’s.

5. Stereotype: Girls like you don’t have such knowledge. {Such in this case being mythological knowledge}.  
Reality: This by far has to be the one that hurt the most because it was made by someone I consider a friend. What hurt the most was like people out there may speak trash, call names or categorize me into some type of woman that they feel I am. But when that same thing is done by someone close to you, a person you consider friend, the feeling of betrayal is unmatched. That’s when I feel that is always better to be a private person and not just sit and discuss every tiny detail of your life with all. You never know who is going to change sides and use that information to hurt you where is hurts the most.

Coming back to the topic of mythology, well girls like me (if you may say so) do know the basic things but if you go on about asking me details of it, I wouldn’t know Bhim’s son’s name from Mahabharata, not because I love fashion but simply because it’s something that doesn’t not interest me. Like chess. Or sports. Or cartoons. Or Sci-fi action films. That does not make me an alien or a different type of girl all together.

Picture Courtesy - www.entities-r-us.com

I for one feel that it’s really irrelevant to put labels on people. Lovers, show-off, wannabe, greedy, stingy, especially when you have no idea about them, the life they really lead. And the actually person behind that designer wear, those pointy peep toes, that stylish tattoo, those low riding jeans and that big long pricy car. But if you do know the real person behind all that junk, then my friends do keep the name calling in progress.

On a totally different note, have you seen this picture of ISRO scientists, after the Mangaalyan's bon voyage. Its speaks a thousand words, saree and gajra wearing scientists breaking stereotypes without uttering a word. And here I had to ramble on and on before getting to the point ;)

Picture Courtesy - www.dailypost.com

Love
Sepo.

Nostalgia - 6 Things To Miss About The Good 'Old Days

Some days after a particularly shitty day, sitting with a cup of instant noodles in my hand, I sit back and reminisce about good old childhood days. The days of no deadlines and bosses, no fast food and cellulite, no fake friends who smile with you at one moment and bitch about you the very next. Someone rightly said, you die twice – once being when your childhood dies. When I look back at the golden era of my juvenile days, there are a special set of things and stuff that come to my mind. I fondly remember and miss some of these, have tried to go back in time on one particularly lonely night (with instant noodles) and listed the below thoughts and things that have been long forgotten and almost obsolete. But still manage to be close to my heart and clearly etched into my memory. Hero goes:

1. Audio Cassettes 

Photo Courtesy - indianexpress.com

 In the 90s cassettes held an important place in our hearts and homes. There was a huge drawer in my house which was entirely devoted for cassettes and strangely it still is. Any home party was incomplete without the latest cassettes of hit movies and pop songs. If you liked one particular song in an album to listen to it again and again you had to rewind the cassette, unlike today when the same is done via a click or touch. But there was something really special about that rewind thing, I feel. It felt like you really have to work to get something you desired. Rewind. Check. More Rewind. Ohh no. Too much Rewind. Forward a little. Yea, that’s right. Perfect.

There were too many options out there for but sadly money was pretty limited. On an average each cassette cost was around Rs 40 back then. My first ever buy was Sonu Nigaams very popular album with the hit song “Tu”. I was madly in love with Sonu . The cassette is still at my home, holding a special place with Sneha loves Sonu scribbled on it…Buying cassettes was a very big deal back then. Since we (me and my sister) received no regular pocket money it got difficult for us to manage buying all the latest ones. We had a very clear strategy though. Cassettes were bought only if all the songs (or majority) were good or else we spent our afternoons writing popular songs on papers and sharing it with our local bhaiya who recorded them in a fresh cassette. We named these cassettes with very cheesy names like “Superhits-Vol1”, “Ehsaas”, “Dil ki Baat”.

When we got bored of listening to same songs we recorded new songs onto it from the ever running radio. Vividh Bharti was the only radio station with Chitralok, Pitara, Meri Saheli and other awesome programs. Gosh, it was the best time ever!! It is so astonishing that how suddenly cassettes were wiped off from our lives. One day I was buying cassettes and then suddenly I switched onto CDs and then everything was online. Agreed that what we have today is good and very convenient but sometimes I do yearn of cassettes. I totally understand some people’ fascination with old gramophone records. When I visit my hometown I go through our old collection of cassettes. Each one has a memory associated with it, they make my heart swelled with emotions of nostalgia and longing.

2. Summer vacations at granny’s place 

I am the little one in white dress :) cute no?

 For me a major part of the excitement about the summer vacations was attributed to the time which was to be spent with cousins @ nani-ka-ghar. We would pack our bags with pretty frocks and colorful shorts and scoot off. After waking up to a breakfast of butter smeared paranthas, we sat glued in front of TV for Chutti Chutti on DoorDarshan. Heavy lunch mandated a quintessential afternoon nap. We woke up to suck into juicy cold mangoes and run off to play cricket where all my cousins would bat/bowl and make me the fielder. My cries would force them to let me bat for few bowls but that was it. We also indulged in some healthy rivalry by making groups and teasing/irritating the hell outta each other. Studying and doing the holidays homework was the best part ever. Fighting, tearing each other notebooks, breaking noses and digging hairpins into thighs which caused hospital visits. We have done it all….

These days’ summer vacations of even toddlers are pre booked in form of dance classes, swimming classes, art sessions and loads of holiday’s homework. While all this is definitely important but then so is the trip to nani’s house. This practice needs to be kept alive as it forms an important memory growing up. I am sending off my kids to nani, come what may. Summer classes can wait!

3. Bring back Gold spot and Canada dry
 

Photo Courtesy - impactonnet.com

 Long before taste the thunder and Oh Yes Abhi Gold Spot used to rule the roost. It came in hefty glass bottles which you were supposed to return after consuming. I seriously don’t remember the taste but it was definitely not like Fanta or Miranda. It had awesome ads as well. I still wonder why they stopped making those. Another fab drink from those times was Canada Dry. It was a very controversial drink because of its objectionable colour which made it look like an alcoholic drink. But its taste was mind blowing and its ad was oh-so-sexy with a white tiger in snow and stuff. Canada dry was a favorite of me and my sisters, we were shattered once it was banned or something. There were others as well which came and went just as quickly. I particularly remember Crush because of its interesting pony neck bottle design.

I just saw gold spot and Canada dry ads on you tube and it was wow. So amazing how we forget something that happened yesterday but remember stuff that happened ages ago. I would just do anything for re-introduction of gold spot or Canada dry.

4. Old TV shows 

Photo Courtesy - abhisays.com

This is a huge list. Songs related - Rangoli, Chitrahaar, Superhit Muqabala. Mythological -Chandrakanta, Shri Krishna, Mahabharat, Ramayana. Comedy/Fiction – Ek se bhadkar ek, Shreeman Shreemati Samay, Tehkikaat, Shaktiman, Captain Vyom, Sea Hawks, Hip Hip Hurray, Just Mohabbat, Surbhi, Malgudi Days, Disney Hour. This and those old English shows like Small wonder, I dream of Jennie, Full house with Uncle Joey and cute little Mischelle.

5. Portable video games/Comics

I am taking about those adorable little devices which looked like mobile phones. Few buttons, some car racing, block breaking games together with lot of shouting in background from Mom. These are my memories of the portable video game. That and when ours got broken and my sister took it to her lab for getting it soldered. Needless to say, that was the last I saw of it.

Photo Courtesy - dvdtalk.com

Comics were a clear favourite. Being youngest for a long time amongst my cousins, I had an easy access to a myriad of comics ranging from Archies to Chacha Chowdhary. Tinkle and Pinki. Billu and Nagaraj. I loved all but I had and still have a super soft corner of Archies. It was just so fancy to me. Veronica with her awesome fashion sense. Betty with the perfect girl next door features. The cute freckled Archie, Jughead the foodie, mean Reggie and other characters at Riverdale. I was so psyched when I came to Mumbai and visited Pop Tate’s for the first time, in the comics it was a popular eatery where the Riverdale gang hanged. I still sneak in copies of Archie’s from crosswords, well some guilty pleasure.

6. Neighbourly Culture 

Photo Courtesy - therealdeal.com

Back in my childhood, neighbors were like extended families. My family is still in touch with neighbors we had in all our previous homes we lived it. I particularly remember Verma Aunty. Sometimes when I came home and my mother was not there, she used to leave the keys with Verma Aunty and I would go collect it from her. Verma aunty gave the keys but not before she fed me dry fruits and a chilled glass of roohafza. And neighbors kids were usually the ones you developed crushes on. Peeking from windows, behind curtains, eye contacts on the terrace, getting all shy and blushing in their presence. It was all so filmy and cute.
These days’ people are totally unaware of next door people, having any kind of relationship with them is totally out of question.

So many other things come to my mind that were an integral part of growing up, but yes a lot of work is involved in providing a description to them. Being an engineer I am not really a fan of one liners. I only wanted to include stuff for which I have big fat lines of description readily available in the Random Access Memory of my brain. So now over to you guys, please leave behind nice description of your childhood memories.
 

Love:
Sepo

Ten types of Guys we all have met.

1. The Suspicious One 

Photo Courtesy - eithicsalarm.com

 He is the guy who always asks “kahan ho” (“where are you”) as soon as he calls, before even saying hello. While dating him it would be impossible to even talk to any male friends you have. He will always be aware of your whereabouts, your activity on social networking websites and your last seen of various apps. Any likes or comments from an opposite sex will lead to you giving detailed and unnecessary explanations. If he calls you and gets a busy tone, then god save you from all the confrontations. A pee break will also invite numerous assumptions and allegations. This type of guy usually has hell lot of friends spread across the town who keep tabs on you and call you “Bhabhi”. And together with suspicions this type of guy is also known to have strong possessiveness streak which lies on the margin of being extreme.

If you like to live on the edge you can definitely date this guy!

2. Love-y Dove-y 

Photo Courtesy - sodahead.com

 This guy is just full of love. So much love that it’s enough for both of you. The amount of endearments he uses is enough to give you a long term diabetes. Diabetes plus a cringing feeling in the pit of your stomach when you hear Baby, babu, Shona, darling and stuff. The huge love makes the guy interested in every little detail of your life – from the food you are having, to the clothes you are buying. And not just your life, he is as involved in the life of people directly or indirectly connected with you. Your family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, pets etc. He never misses any birthdays or anniversaries or gifts and never fails to send good morning and good night messages. If you get angry with him, he will send you flowers and chocolates. And will just keep on sending them because the distance and no-talking will drive him crazy.
In a company of such a guy you start being less of a girl and more of a baby. Date this guy if you like to be pampered and taken care of.

3. High Maintenance 

Photo Courtesy - capitalfm.com

 There is only one thing this guy desires ~ Perfection. You have to be literally on your toes when with this dude. He expects you to look like a million bucks at times. Perfect dress, with matching shoes and accessories. Your trips to beauty parlours will increase by manifolds because there can be no bad hair days, or zits or hair at random places. Perfect table manners will be mandatory which means you better start learning to eat tandoori chicken with fork and knife. Your knowledge bank should be updated because you don’t want to appear dumb in front of him. The testing time is when he invites you to meet his family or friends because that’s where he has gained all the impeccable taste he so proudly displays. You have to be on your best behaviour especially with the Mom.

But there is one thing, you can always count of this guy to pick up the best gifts for you. Take you out on dates to the awesome-est places ever. Have links and contacts to all the major happenings in your town. And you will just love shopping with him, because he has just good taste. So on a whole it’s pretty adventurous and involves a lot of work. Avoid this guy if you are a home-bird kinda girl.


4. The Dude 

Photo Courtesy - scs-connect.com

 The irony is that there is nothing actually dude like about this guy. But there is nothing in the world that will make him think otherwise. He is the I-Know-It-All types and leaves no opportunity to display any kind of knowledge (right or wrong) on the topic of discussion. His favourite pastime is bragging about himself and narrating various stories on how cool he is. He has a huge inflated ego and is capable of throwing quite a tantrum if you hurt it in any way. There is a huge chance that dude works out, eats lots of chicken, drinks beers and just loves to watch (read:admire) himself while flexing his muscles. The dude basically is just in love with himself and has little of no space or emotions to love someone else. His life rotates around his own solar system. The guy however does attract a huge amount of female attention because he is a total eye-candy.

Date him if you can handle the pressure of being with someone who is so full of himself.


5. Daddy’s-Money-Flaunting-Guy

Photo Courtesy - huffingtonpost.com

 Yea, you got it flashy cars, beer cans in hand and different girl’s every time. He will woo all the girls he likes with expensive gifts and car rides just with the motive of sleeping with them. Mr Richie Rich firmly believes that money buys everything ~ including friends and women. He is one of the most popular guys you know and just about the entire town knows him. He has no regards for people, is rude, gets frequently involved in brawls and saved from the same by daddy’s money. There is every possibility that his dad is just as pissed off with him as other people. But his mommy thinks he is the nest thing ever. This guy will have lots of fun in life but in the end marry a rich girl of his parents’ choice.

6. Nerd 

Photo Courtesy - pinterest.com

 There is something incredibly sexy about a guy who knows it all. Knowledge, black rimmed glasses and those brawny looks, this guy will just mess up your head. He is a great conservationist and his general knowledge is flawless. He may not be too fun loving or unpredictable but he makes up for it by being so in control at all times. He will give you free career advice and solve all your gadget problems. But yes, after some time life with him will become pretty monotonous.

7. The Shy one 

Photo Courtesy - sheknows.com

 

 If you are a girl who likes to wear the pants in a relationship and this is the ideal match for you. It will take him an eternity just to get the courage to hold your hand. And he will blush if you hold his. So take things slow with this one. He is most likely not to look beyond you once he has made of his mind about you. Once that’s done he will finally open up his heart to you and you will be the world to him. This one is for the keeps.
(I know the picture doesn't really match but the little boy is so cute!!)

8. The Foodie 

Photo Courtesy - lostinidaho.com

There are two mysteries in the world that baffle me – Bermuda triangle and guys who eat like pigs and don’t get fat. The foodie here just loves to eat and feed others. Loves to try new places and cuisines. So most of your dates will be centred on exquisite food and drinks. So your diets and plans will all go out of the window for this one. Since most often than not a foodie loves to cook, he is sure to pamper his girl with breakfast in bed and home cooked elaborate meals. I dare you to try saying no to that! Well, you can pretty much forget to keep a check on yourself while eating with him. After a few months, while he just stays awesome and loving, you start to pile-up on kilos’. No sooner you will require a major wardrobe revamp.

That said, it is never a good idea to ditch a guy who can cook, so try and adjust with this fella by eating in small portions and not going overboard. And never ever order two desserts, share it.

9. Two Timing One 

Photo Courtesy - curlybookworm.com

 This one vouches for “Variety is Spice”. He likes to play with fire and date more than one girl simultaneously. The guy is literally a juggling and inspite of all the wrath we have for him should be appreciated for his impeccable skills. I have had the fortune or misfortune of knowing a guy who dated two sisters. I mean just think about it, living in the same roof, talking to the same guy the sisters were unaware that they share not just a room and clothes but also a boyfriend. This dare-devil of a guy has all the bad boy traits that we girls just love. So you will just love to hate this guy. The love will make your eye hazy and you will refuse to act on the tell-tale suspicious signs like multiple sims, phone lock, too many changes in plans, not letting you meet friends etc.

This guy is just looking for some fun and sticking up with means just doesn’t make any sense. But a friend of mine did once date a guy like this just to teach him a lesson. The lesson was not learned and things turned up pretty messy. This guy is like dasheri mango, you wanna have it so bad, even though you know you will get dirty. You just can’t fight the temptation so you give in.

10. Touchy feely

Photo Courtesy - mid-day.com

 This guy will leave no stone unturned to grab an opportunity to touch. Suggestively. But in a seemingly innocent way. To lead you through a door, he will hold you by the waist. While passing some stuff he will graze your hands and when sitting together his biceps will touch the most inappropriate places. If not for the touching while talking with you his eyes will rarely be meeting yours. And don’t be surprized if mid conversation he suddenly drops his jaws to ogle at a hottie passing by. He will always take you out to shady places like movie theatres, less frequented restaurants, parks, lakes all the places where, you know he can do stuff. He will lie, beg, borrow, steal, profess his love for you…basically anything just anything to get what is wants.

Under all situations and circumstances just try and stay away from this kinda guy. He will bring you nothing but trouble.

Just to clear some things up, the above post has just been written just for some fun. My intent was to laugh and make others laugh. It should not be taken too seriously but enjoyed. And please don’t think I am biased towards men, I have already started formulating a list for girls as well. So stay tuned.

Love:
Sepo

Vanity’s fair

We all have that perfect picture of ours in mind which we desire. It can be anything from outward beauty to that perfect envious lifestyle. Women in general are very concerned about the way they look. Most beautiful women too will worry about the most trivial things ranging from the way her brows are shaped to the size of her nose (which is perfectly fine by the way). If not this then there are always unexpected zits to worry about, the occasional blackheads and laugh lines which magically are invisible to everyone else. And above all this there is the most raging issue of all ~ weight. In my entire life I have never met a women who has told me “I love the way I look”. On the contrary I have met numerous guys who have splattered this exact statement on my face. Trust me, none of them were worthy of it. Anyhow coming back to women. The VLCCs, weight watchers programs, uncountable yoga instructors would long have been rendered jobless had it not been for the womenfolk. It’s not like men don’t care about the way they look but according to statistics men generally are more inclined towards fitness rather than the for cosmetic reasons. Women on the other hand look out for exercises that reduce the tummy but keep the rest of the stuff intact, work the thighs but keep them stems as is.

World around us is filled with blasphemous notions and standards of beauty. Like what was up with that size zero fad? Overnight skinny was in but not necessary adored. But because Kareena Kapoor was seen endorsing it in hot pants, girls blindly imitated and were seen ditching pizzas and drinking green teas. The most old and ridiculous of all is the 36-24-36. I don’t know why it’s considered to be an ideal shape for women, I would really like to meet the person who set this very unflattering standard for women to follow and men to fantasize. As an erstwhile not-so-proud-owner of a 24-inch waist, let me tell you – it ain’t any fun. Try to buy a jeans of your choice in 24 or 26 waist size and you will know what I am talking about. What I feel is that as long as a person has a healthy BMI, the vital statistics don’t matter. But if you want to be a model or an actresses then that’s different. Even then you can always get some procedure done to “enhance” your looks. Cosmetic surgery is a very popular, surprisingly lucrative and dreaded-ly addictive process. While it’s very popular and somewhat open in Hollywood (celebs like Michael Jackson, Nicole Kidman and Donatella Versace examples of it). In the Indian film industry however it is still a very hush-hush affair, here a lip job is still attributed to sea-food allergy.

After years of wisdom gained by reading cosmopolitans, harper bazars, feminas, vogues and what-nots I can proudly proclaim that atleast 85% of actresses/models have used some or the other cosmetic procedure to achieve that perfect pout, that slender nose and the perfect 10 figure. Anushka Sharma’s duck lips is no make-up trick. Priyanka Chopra’s old pictures from her Miss World days are far from the sexy desi girl we now see. Katrina Kaif was not born with that bee-stung pout she flaunts in the mango ads and apparently it was neither the power yoga nor the 108 surya namaskars that helped Kareena get that chiselled size zero frame. It was a smart liposuction that chucked out all that baby fat. Check out the pictures below and see the differences.

Going under the knife is a personal decision and I am totally fine with it. When you get paid for the way you look (or you have so much money that you don’t know what to do with it) it becomes necessary to look a certain way. So it’s fine, even we spend money and undergo some trainings or take classes to excel in whatever field we are in. But the issue is creating a false standard. Why should a normal person compel and compete with unnatural standards of beauty. If not for the surgery the magazine covers are always photoshoped to give that flawless complexion and sexy bod. Who can forget the racist controversy that sprouted when a very light-skinned Aishwarya was seen in the cover picture of Elle magazine. Very recently FHM has a very sexy photo-shoot of actress Huma Qureshi, who in real life pictures looks pretty healthy, but the toned arms and midriff in the magazine pictures very clearly gave away the Photoshop trick. We really need to stop objectifying women and create ridiculous standards. Beauty is not about a size or a perfect shape. Everyone is unique and there is a beauty in all shapes and sizes. But yes, I do have to say that exercise and eating right is very important for the overall health and happiness. Exercise just for the fun of it, for the toxins it flushes out of your body. For that painful yet pleasant soreness in the muscles and the cute guys you spot while working out. But definitely not to look like Deepika, Anushka or Kareena. And dear boyfriends/husbands, please stop asking/wishing your partners to look like Deepika Padukone (especially when you yourself don’t look like Hritikh Roshan). Instread encourage them to look healthy and appreciate them the way they are.

Another aspect of obsessive weight loss is the whole theory of dieting. Dieting as a concept is very good if undertaken in a proper manner so as not to starve the body. However recently celebs have come up with this concept of crash diets and juice diets which works but leaves the body weak. It helps to lose those kilos very fast but the moment you come back to your normal routine the kilos all get pill-ed back in an alarming way. And not to mention the crazy-bitch-quotient (a term concocted by me) which comes free with dieting. This is basically the irritation that sprouts from deprivation of food me. Trust me, I fast on Thursdays and my colleagues in office e refrain from talking to me after 4 PM because I am ready to bite-off their head at any slight provocation. Dieting also promotes disorders like anorexia and bulimia amongst girls. Most of the stick- thin models you spot on the ramps are on religious diets of caffeine, wine and drugs, which is just so sad I mean with all the delicious food out there.

Photo Courtesy - www.googlygooeys.com

All I am trying to say by blabbering so much is that you may call a girl fat (jokingly or seriously) and forget about it. But what does inside a girls mind after this is something you have no idea about. She just starts getting obsessive about it and everything around her, friends, photographs, food, mirror, clothes etc all seem to be shouting – FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT. She will start on some crappy diet that worked for Beyoncé, Rihana and Nargis Fakhri. Gets cranky with hunger and fights with friends/parents/boyfriends and then comes the phase of do-hell-with-dieting, where-is-the-dutch-truffle. One dutch truffle will lead to another and there will be a consistent increase visible on the weighing scale. Now the button of favourite pair of jeans will refuse to budge and the entire cycle repeats. So in short, a simple comment like that just messes-up our head. Next time think twice before you call a girl fat, or ask her weight, or her age, or comment on her make-up or clothes, or make fun of her accent or ___________________________________________________________

The list goes on, but we don’t want to give away all the secrets cause then there would be no drama

And we all love some drama, don’t we ;)

Love:

Sepo!

Of Cannes Film Festival and Brain Drain

Come May and all everyone can talk about is the Cannes film festival. Cannes is an international film festival held in Cannes, France which showcases movies of all genres from all over the world. The invitation only affair became popularized in India, in the early 2000s when the princess of India, Aishwarya Rai scored an invitation to the event. The first few years were spent in criticizing her sartorial choices and bad mouthing her designers. However with time and the necessary exposure to the international fashion scene Ash nailed it. Over the years many other actresses like Mallika Sherawat, Sonam Kapoor and the likes have had their share of paparazzi moments at the Cannes. But Aishwarya continues to hold a special place. Even though I am not a fan but this year I was blown over by the pictures of her first appearance at the Cannes. She looked like an exquisite doll, 10 years younger and extremely flawless. 

Picture Courtesy - www.apunkachoice.com

 Moving on, have you given a thought to this scenario where at least a distant or near relative of yours is based out of India. It may be the IIT nerd or the sister who got married off or the bad- at-studies-but-relatives-abroad kinda guy. When I was a kid, living abroad was like a distant dream. Once my father’s best friend and his family visited us from America. We were hugely excited about this impending visit. Apart from being excited about the quintessential chocolates we were nervous about how we would cope up to talk with their American born-and-brought-up kids.  

Needless to say my sister - the perfect hostess did teach me few pleasantries in English and made it a rule to talk only in English a week prior to their visit. Once we actually met them, we were quite put-off with their NRI type nakhras. However the gifts like chocolates, perfumes and phoren soaps were very well received. In the 90s the term imported was pretty huge. Shopkeepers sold scores of items by the mention of just one line “Madam, yeh imported hai”. Imported word linked the items to foreign locales and people and that was a sure shot winner. 90s was the time when Indian Movies majorly ditched Kashmir and Ooty in favour of Switzerland and States. On and on the foreign fever was never as huge as in the 90s. For the middle class however it was still an out of scope thing and they had to rely on their NRI uncle aunties for the dark Belgian chocolates, the Calvin Klein undergarments, cosmetics and the super-soft sweaters.

With the advent of globalization in the last decade, no place is far enough. Study loans and stuff means the overseas thing is pretty mainstream now. The Belgian chocolates, cosmetics and everything else is readily available, if not in shops then online. The world is literally on our fingertips. And most of our friends and family in the foreign companies or universities. From my batch I know atleast 25 friends, friends of friends and random acquaintance who have opted for masters in the USA. Most of the marriage alliances received these days are from these super-smart guys - MS from Chicago, working in California and no plans for settling in India. Masters in US means job in US which in short means they ain’t coming back.It is estimated that India loses $2 billion a year because of the emigration of computer experts to the U.S.Indian students going abroad for their higher studies costs India a foreign exchange outflow of $10 billion annually. Phew, some number that is!

There is definitely nothing wrong in being ambitious and I totally agree that India doesn't give as many options as desired. However if given a choice, I wouldn't be able to stay after from India and my people for so long. I love to travel, see new places but the mere thought of not being able to meet up for years together gives me shivers. In India staying up in different state you do have an option to visit as many times, as frequently or as quickly as you can. But sadly same option is not available for foreign travels. It takes months and months of handwork and hobnobbing with government officials to score a visit. And to top it most of our parents can't even afford to visit (unless sponsored). It would take a major chunk of their savings and a toll on their mental health for a trip to far-away lands. 

This post is surely going to make the overseas readers to hate me and most of my reader are based out of India.

Sorry Guys, just a random thought. Has been on my mind for sometime now. So....

Love:
Sepo