Adulting with Adult Acne

I try and think back to a time when I had clear baby skin. Smooth and supple. Without the cruel mark-ations left by years of Acne’s war against my skin. Since I grew up in a pre-smart phone generation, I don’t have many pictures to ponder and admire my pre-pimple life. Life. Yes. Having acne changes you as a person. It affects every aspect of your being. Your personal and professional life. You become more self-conscious and your confidence will hit an all-time low. You will get tired of people asking questions about why you have pimples. Ha, as if you the answer to that question. And you will get more tired of people offering unsolicited advices especially the garelu nuske.

After 16 years of continuous struggle with acne, I can proudly say that I have tried everything under the sun. So, I will start chronologically because aap chronology samajeye. Pimples are natural at the time of puberty and its very natural to treat them as naturally as possible at this stage. So, that’s where the first mistake was made. Every skin issue is different and can arise from various reasons. It is very important to take a dermatological opinion before irritating the hell out of your skin with neem ke patte. I had a lot of Safi and way lot of fullers' earth (multani mitti), masoor daal, neem (of course) face packs. The result of all this you ask? Well, let me just say that people who did not know my name in college conveniently addressed me as the-thin-girl-with-a-lot-of-pimples-on-her-face.

After college I shifted to Mumbai and my skin just couldn’t behave itself. I had a really bad spout of not just pimples now but open pores, blackheads, shiny oily skin and oh nasty painful oozing pustules. And not only on my face but back (bye-bye deep necks) and chest too. I had trouble sleeping because ouch these shitty things hurt like hell. I had trouble looking in the mirror. I had trouble clicking pictures (and I love taking pictures). I had trouble meeting new people. I had trouble taking baths because no matter how careful I was, one or two pimples always got burst. Meanwhile I went a little cray cray doing all sorts of self-medications like baking soda, toothpaste etc etc. Since my skin was oily, I though keeping it dry would simply just cure everything. It was only recently I came to know that over drying leads to more oil production and hence more pimply babies. Shucks. I generally slept in these concoctions and would naively believe I will wake up with clean and clear skin.

Me. Every-night back then

At this point of time I also took all advices given to me very seriously. So, when someone suggested to apply my saliva just after waking up till it dries, I did it. When an aunty randomly stopped me in a supermarket and told me to wash my face with a mixture of dried orange peel and nigella seeds – I quickly called up with parents and told them to do the needful. They kept this concoction ready in bottles for me to take back (Just remembered, I still have a few left :D). 

When situation became out of control – and by this, I mean less face and more pimples, I finally decided to see a doctor. Why the delay you ask? Because somehow with everyone around me saying “it gets better with age” - I started to believe this blatant lie too. May I add - I was well around my mid-twenties by this time. The doctor immediately put me on oral retinoid treatment. I was skeptical considering the side-effects but decided to go for it, nevertheless. Apart from the obvious side-effects (duly informed by the doctor) the medications made my skin super-duper sensitive. I was supposed to cover myself completely in the sun or else I would look like a tomato. Plus, my skin would literally peel so no waxing for like 6 months or so. Which when I think back was good only – try going to a parlor with pimples on your face and you will understand what I mean. Aap yeh karva lo clear ho jayega, aap wo khareed lo sab sahi ho jayega. Anyways, the medication did work, my skin cleared up and bought a smile to my face. Now people were all like “Wow, where are the pimples?” 

The in-progress picture

Oops celebrated too soon. Acne was back and with vengeance. It was also around the same time I noticed a lot of hair growth on my face. Now whether a side-effect of medicines or hormonal issues who knows. Just what I needed - as if pimples were not enough. Phew. This time I took the approach of internal healing. After-all what goes inside your body will reflect outside. So stopped salty, oily food. Cut-out dairy. Lots of water, salads, detox waters and the face packs were back too. Thankfully this time, there were a lot of editing tools available to hide the imperfections. My darling friend, the cool gal S (previously mentioned here) helped and still helps me choose the best pictures for uploading. All I have to do is send a bunch of pictures and she replies with the best one – editing at proper places. Not just removing marks and blemishes but if required she adds up a dash of lipstick or blush as well (attaching exhibits of her talent below). 

Uneven skin tone? No Problem

Pimple se No-Pimple

The dietary restrictions failed to show up any results, and with my shaadi less than a year ahead - it was time for a new doctor. This one was more into cosmetic procedures. No eating medicines but a lot of expensive Micellar waters, Antirougeurs cremes and so on. She also suggested laser treatment and chemical peels and I (desperate for results) and with my never-say-never attitude went for it. So, I undertook these laser treatment sittings which pricked my skin and pinched my pockets. Laser was still better but Chemical peel was extremely painful, and I could only tolerate one. Result as expected was good and I was pimple free on my D-Day. Although on my reception day, the makeup girl did remark “aap toh bahut hairy ho” while applying base-crème to my face, with my sister-in-law sitting right next to me.

But like all good things, my clear skin days did come to an end.

Next bout of acne was all over my jawline and chin which indicated hormonal issues. This time it was gynecologist visits which opened another can of worms. Cut to this day – the struggle continues. Now pimples don’t surprise or disappoint me. I have accepted them as a part of my life and face. I also don’t give much though before uploading pictures now. Ain’t no pimple gonna hurt anyone. Though over the years I now have some knowledge about what works for my skin and what doesn’t. I do basic cleansing, cleaning and hope for the best. My bouts somehow also match timings with important events like marriages, vacations, people visiting etc. Thankfully we now have makeup products specifically for sensitive acne prone skin, so that helps. People however continue to ask why I have pimples and even after 16 years I have no answers.

Le Sigh. 

Love:
Sepo

The Help

A distant acquaintance once remarked how women have nothing better to discuss other than the status of their respective maids. This was in response to a question asked about whether they have hired a new help after the previous once took off. At the time, the comment really pinched me. I thought it to be very sexist and condescending. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is indeed a very important and frequent point of discussion amongst us womenfolk. My society whatsapp group is full of messages on the status of various maids. And someone or the other is always on the look-out for that perfect maid. After all why wouldn't they be? Our helps undertake a very important aspect from the very long list of responsibilities that we women have under our belts. Their absence even for a day creates havoc in our lives and homes.

I myself never gave much thought or appreciation to the work or dependency we have on our maids. Some years back I saw this movie called The Help. Ever since I read Gone with the wind, I have been obsessed with Southern American culture. Cotton picking, ice-teas, fried chicken, deviled eggs, pretty bonnets y’all. So I am always looking out for movies or books based in and around the Southern area. Over the years I have read a lot of The Color purple, Beloved etc. One of the days I stumbled upon this movie called The Help - it had me hooked on from the first scene. It had all the ingredients I desired. I loved the movie so much that I quickly bought the book it was based on. We all know no movie can ever do justice to the book and boy was I right. The book was a revelation for me.

Of Course I loved the story, the semi fictional account of the vast social difference between the blacks and whites, the bridge parties and Minnie’s world famous chocolate pie. It was all good but the book resonated something much more deep than all this. It basically showed the world from the perspective of the help. Now this help did not necessarily have to be a black woman in Mississippi for the effect or the message to get delivered. It could just as easily have been someone in India or for that matter any other part of the world.

Like I said before, I never gave much thought to helpers, their chores, unplanned leaves or different issues they come with. But the time I started reading the book coincided with the time when I was responsible for employing a help of my own. I was responsible for her salary, taking counts of her leaves, guiding her on what to be done and verifying whether it was done properly. Every time I read a passage from the book, I could relate it with my maid. How she would feel working for so many people, cleaning their homes from morning to dusk while her own home at times stayed neglected. Taking care of other children while her own awaited her arrival. Cooking stuff in quality and quantity that she can hardly afford to cook for her family. It is definitely not an easy feat. Both physically and emotionally. Our respective helps not only deserve our respect but also a lot of empathy. A bit of guidance sometimes and also a firm voice whenever the situation demands.

I get super panicky whenever my maid is late even by 5 mins from her scheduled time. I leave for office exactly one hour after her arrival, so her delay directly impacts my timings. I remember on one occasion (after a night of party) our home was particularly messy and I had to rush out early in the morning.The beds were messy, unwashed utensils occupied the basin, side tables were hither and thither, there was spilled water and hence muddy footprints all over the floor. I was just minutes away from leaving and my maids phone was unreachable. I was literally getting panic attacks from the state my home was in, moreover I knew even if I left, the images would keep me restless for the entire day. So you can very well imagine the joy when I saw her enter. I quickly left for work leaving the entire cleaning responsibility and home under her reign. While away I did question my hastily taken decision of keeping her alone in the house, but all my apprehensions were quickly dissolved when I came back to a spick and span home.Cleanliness is definitely a very underrated pleasure. A clean kitchen and a nicely made bed give me an ultimate high and peace at the same time.

This another time at the wild 30th birthday bash, apart from a lot of fun there was also a lot of mayhem. Glasses were broken, biryani was dropped, thumbs up was spilled like champagne. Nonetheless the party poppers went to sleep after a half-heartily attempt at cleaning. Only to be woken up at 6 in the morning by a call from the maid informing on how she wouldn't be able to make it today. Jeepers Creepers. I almost had a nervous breakdown thinking about the unwashed plates I had neatly stacked up to be washed, the not-so-efficient way the biryani was cleaned up with little specs and stains still on the floor or the haste with which the broken glass was just swooshed in a corner near the dustbin. I could hardly go back to sleep after this major major debacle. So I woke up and started cleaning the utensils one by one. Luckily I managed to get neighbors' helper to help me clean up rest of the mess and restore my sanity. I totally feel for all those amazing women/men who live out of the country where it may not always be possible to get help. I have unrelenting respect for all these people.


Everything said and done, like all relationships there has to be a lot of trust, honesty and mutual respect. A good maid is hard to get. But once you manage to get one and train her, your life will be a little bit sorted. Well, until she goes on leave :P
 

Lots of Love:
Sepo

Dieting or Die (eating)

Sometimes I think about all the times I mindlessly ate Pizzas bursting with cheese, sandwiches drowned in mayonnaise, bread with a thick layer of butter, unlimited momos, desi chowmein suitably sprinkled with harmful MSGs and ajinomoto, pakoras fried in oil of a very questionable color. Ahh the reckless days of youth.No one to guide you to say - A moment of the lips, forever on the hips.

Although in the prime of youth one can afford the luxury of eating all the junk but the issue is that it forms a habit and you start to develop the taste. And man! Nothing tastes as good as unhealthy food. Nothing is as addictive as the taste of fat. Don't get me started on the withdrawal symptoms of unhealthy food - the sudden urge to eat an entire box of caramel salted ice cream at midnight is real.

Now sometime back, I undertook a challenge to eat healthy at least during the weekdays. Little did I know that it would lead to a road full of contradictions and confusions. Just like in any department, marketing plays a huge role in the health industry (if I may call it so). Ever since I started to Ahem increase in size, I observed a very peculiar scenario - every other month, one or the other food item is promoted as a healthy super-food. You just have to have it in order to stay fit and lose weight or you must be stuck in a rut of trying-to-lose forever. Now you may not pay heed - but you will spot this super-food everywhere - Newspapers, Instagram, Hoardings or some actress with enviable abs will be seen promoting and swearing by it.

At one point of time it was the egg whites. Yellow was the enemy. Chuck the yolk, everyone said. Unhealthy fats, heart diseases, diabetes - the list of bads was endless. I remember reading about how whipping up an omelette of 6 egg whites (with veggies, of course) was the ideal breakfast and whites of boiled eggs was the ideal pre-workout meal. Then some years back there was another theory about how the yolk is super loaded with essential nutrients. People with Vitamin D deficiency (which is like every other person) should definitely have an egg a day (with the yolk intact!). For a person like me who loves the yoke, no amount of egg whites satisfied me or my appetite.

Next boom was about Blueberries. Apparently packed with antioxidants - which fight everything from aging to acidity, it was the ultimate breakfast food. Whether or not its local to where you stay was not taken into consideration. It just had to be had as-is or in a smoothie. And that reminds me of the smoothie trend. Nutri bullet sales skyrocketed like nobody’s business because of this. Smoothie bowls of distinct colors garnished with fruits and myriad of seeds was the ultimate Instagram-able breakfast food. Although why no one stops to ponder on how these non-native fruits and ingredients are burning a very gaping hole in our pockets is beyond me! My tryst with blueberries ended quickly when I spotted them in a supermarket priced at some Rs 550 for 250 grams.

The liquid diet cleanse was really big at one point of time (or maybe still it) . Everyone from Beyonce to Jacqueline were seen endorsing it. RAW came up with 5 to 6 liquid meal packs which took care of all the necessary nutrients. Mornings with citric, mid morning and lunch with cold soups, afternoons and dinner with light on the stomach concoctions. For one tiny bottle at a time, the prices sure were exuberant. Flavor infused waters were another rage. But many people counter argued that apart from flushing out toxins the liquid diet can hamper the body by making it loose essential vitamins etc.

Then came avocado. And everything else took a back stage. Suddenly everyone’s favorite snack was avocado toast. Yours truly inspired by all the coverage this vegetable fruit got, shopped for my very own first Avo. No prior experience ensured that I pick up the wrong (unripe) one. I was expecting buttery creamy taste but could hardly swallow my bitter toast. I wondered why the world was going ga ga over this shit which was probably just a distinct cousin of the karela. But soon I made amends by learning the right way avocado from a dear friend. And now avo toast topped with fried egg is my favorite breakfast.

To make matters more complicated than ever there is this new section of people who only eat gluten free and vegan. The list of foods they can eat is minuscule as compared to the ocean of food they cannot (or choose not to). I am sure what they eat is healthy and beneficial. But how do you suddenly make a drastic change from what you have grown up eating to something totally different. And how can you be suddenly lactose intolerant after years of gulping bottles of milk. My kashmiri brain took a somersault when I read you are not allowed to have dairy. Everything else is fine but no dahi? For a kashmiri a person who does have curd is a freak. After paracetamol, good old zamdodh (curd) is the ultimate cure for all ailments.

Amid all the madness, I find dietitian Rituja’s voice pretty sane. She insists on eating local and seasonal. Backed with scientific significance (and Kareena Kapoor’s body), I really like how she encourages good eating habits by not making them scary and complicated. I feel half the battle is lost right when you complicate a diet with ingredients that either cost a bomb or need to be specially sourced. Then prep time also matters. When I come home tired from office and have a Martha Steward kinda recipe to attend to, I would rather just Swiggy or Zomato thinking just this one time. But soon enough it forms a habit and leads to a post like this one :)

So for now I am taking heed from Rituja and taking baby steps towards eating better. No fads, no super-foods only ghar ka fresh khana. And some avo toast once in a while :)

Stay healthy people!

Love:
Sepo

Aham Brahmasmi

So as you might have already guessed, I have completed the second season of the much awaited Sacred Games on Netflix. Few months back, I had picked up the book as well and completed it hurriedly before the second season. Now I was pretty much aware of how the series would end but the makers did change and included quite a bit of new stuff. So all in all I enjoyed watching the season 2. But a few things got me to thinking about how it has become like really a habit and somewhat fashionable to make movies/series/books/articles where the central idea is Hindu bashing.

Now I am no sympathizer or a Bhakt (as the pro government people are popularly referred to as). I am a common observer who stays as far as possible from the very disturbing political debates. I zone myself out whenever I have to witness those so called debates on TV news channels. But the recent turn of events and my observations on them have forced me to speak up or in my case write up.

Everything said and done I do agree that a healthy criticism is good and very much needed for a good functioning democracy. Also no one really has to be a fan of a particular working government party. But how do you justify the disrespect? The disregard of people. Whatever you may say or do, the truth is that India is a Hindu majority country. I don't understand why this fact has to be all hush-hush affair. Do we not call Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Yemen, Oman, Iran and so many other countries as Islamic nations? Why is there no hushing up there so as not to hurt the minority sentiments. While take care of minorities is obviously something that should be unsaid and natural, treating others like second class citizen is not cool.

It started with when I found couple on scenes in Sacred Games subtly pushed in to supposedly highlight the miseries inflicted on members of a particular community. The real issue is that these scenes had nothing to do or add into the story-line. These details were also missing from the book, but we all know how the book story is butchered for the big screen. If I made you curious, it was the lynching scene wherein Katekar's boy was seen enjoying all the violence. Not long back there was another Netflix series Leila - A dystopian drama eerily similar to Margret Atwood's The Handmaid's tale. Here the central theme was how India is all "Hindu Rashtra" and everyone's in misery (except Hindus of higher caste ofcourse). Taj Mahal is burned and many other blasphemous story lines form the central idea of this series.

And then we have the Goddess of Sedition - a certain Ms Roy who had my heart at one point of time but things have soured since then. While her speeches and articles are well known for being Anti-national, it is now reflecting in her books too. Her last one, The Ministry of Utmost Happiness has many references about Mr Modi - his chest size, the magnanimous winning in 2014, the Gujarat riots etc etc. Although she has denied the resemblance but hey, who are we kidding here. There is also a considerable compassion in the book for Kashmiri Muslims and their apparent fight for freedom. There is a very elaborate love angle between one of the man protagonist of the story and a Kashmiri student turned militant Musa Yeswi. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if the tables were turned, would people even dare to write and openly make jokes or comments about the minority. We all know what happened with Mr Rushdie and his Satanic verses.

Also what irks me is the fact that right after Article 370 was revoked, there were many hashtags like 'KashmirBurning', 'Redforkashmir', 'KashmirBurns' trending on social media. Mind boggingly many Instagram influencers were sharing these stories and status about how Kashmir (or Indian Occupied Kashmir, as they like to call it) was under siege and how the actions of Indian government were un-democratic. Well, why would someone blindly share something on social media without having any prior or proper knowledge is beyond me. Just because the topic is trending doesn't mean you have to jump into the bandwagon. Now don't ask me how I know about the knowledge gap - I just do. The decision of revoking article 370 was for the entire (erstwhile) state of Jammu and Kashmir, which comprises of Jammu, Kashmir and Ladakh. But somehow Jammu and Ladakh are always removed from the radar - whether for news or any sort of development.

People suddenly complaining about undemocratic actions should check the 2019 voting statistics. Did the people of Kashmir not openly defy elections by refusing to vote? Some Democracy that is! Curfew was and has to be imposed for maintaining law and order. Army was deployed as a precautionary measure considering the history of Kashmir. Have people forgotten what happened on the streets of Kashmir when Burhan Wani was gunned down? And in the past the Separatist leaders have called for Bandhs with the drop of a hat, yet no one complained about education, medical emergencies and fresh vegetables. Jammu was continuously under curfew and agitation for 60 days back in 2008 and might I add due to a fire there was no electricity as well. In sweltering heat of August. Yet no one complained for felt bad, because its Jammu right, who cares? But the moment its Kashmir everyone is suddenly brought to attention right from Pakistan to UN to China to USA - everybody must somehow be involved.

I understand no internet in this age is crazy and difficult. Even my parents are facing the brunt of it but before criticizing the decision one needs to be well-versed with the history. Internet, text communication has been misused in the past in Kashmir for well orchestrated protests, stone pelting, distracting and helping in evacuating terrorists. I present the recent piece of news from Kashmir and let you decide whether stringent measures are needed or not. Also expect people to be more responsible about what they choose to share online (especially the ones with considerable social media standing!).

I think I have more more to say, maybe in another post.
Till then lets use social media responsibly.






Love:
Sepo

DISC Analysis

I have been meaning to write this post since ages now but it always gave way to something more interesting. Of late I have been on some sort of a writer’s block, so I decided to take it out from the archives of my brain. This dates back to the time of 2014, the time me and many of my co-workers would be on a constant lookout for relevant trainings for our domain - preferably in locations far away from our office This would give us kind of a holiday from work, a chance to explore another branch of our officer, the new canteen food, ahem the new crowd and of course since the trainings would get over way early than usual office timings a chance to explore the nearby joints and markets.

One fine day I managed to get nominated to training in Powai, which is like the very hep part of Mumbai and the duration of the training was WAIT-FOR-IT 1 week! And Mumbai monsoons had just made their presence felt – the time where everything is just so dreamy, romantic and beautiful. When you love prancing about in newly bought rainy footwear and eating plates full of kanja bhajiya with adrakh wali chai. So the timing of this 1 week long training just couldn’t have been better.

I woke up bright and early for my 40 minute bus ride. I learnt the importance of exact-estimate timings in Mumbai. When you reach office at 9:04, you say Nine O Four and not Nine O clock. If the duration is 40 minutes, it means 40 you cannot say it takes about an hour. Nope. Not acceptable. Next train at 6:46 means exactly that. Don’t wait at the platform from 6:30. Enjoy a wada-pav and then be ready to board before the train stops. In my part of the world life is lead at a leisurely pace and our timings are calculated in a similar way - depending on our mood. For example, in the event of an electricity cut that happened 5 minutes ago – everyone will swear “Ek ghante se gye hue hai ji”. And once it’s restored since 1 hour – “Bas abhi aye koi 5 minute pehle”. It was very hard to unlearn this lovely way of communicating by exaggeration.

Now coming back to the bus commute. For the 5 working days I traveled in this bus, I managed to lose a watch, a pair of earphones and funnily a packet of biscuits I had kept in my bag back. These minor mishaps coupled with the struggle of getting auto after the bus ride did dampen the spirits a bit, but the show must go on. And the show (read: training) was spectacular. Very interactive with a bunch of people from different backgrounds of technical work. Each day was filled with numerous activities and interactions that literally kept us on toes. We were divided into groups for all activities and the groups kept changing to facilitate maximum interaction. We are supposed to share our aspirations, fears, disappointments with each other. And while it may seem strange to open up to a complete stranger surprisingly it was rather easy and oddly calming.

But the biggest take away from the 5 days was what has inspired the post and its title – the DISC analysis. Now as a manager or a senior member in the team – your responsibilities go beyond just getting the task done. A good mentor not only understands the requirement but also has to judge the aptitude and skill of the person doing it. More than getting the work done, understanding who best to do it is what makes a difference. And in order to make that judgement who should know the judgement criteria. Which category of personality do you fall in? What type of person is best-fit to do the work and what decisions to make in case of conflicts and hassles? That’s here the DISC comes into picture. The one week training mostly focused on prepping us up as young managers.

So basically DISC is a personality evaluation technique. On basis of a few questions (which you have to answer honestly) it fits you in one of the 4 personality types – Dominant, Influencer, Complaint and Steady. Now there are many other names for this test and numerous interpretations but the abstract remains the same. It is closely associates with the Type A, Type B, Type C and Type D personality test. For me rather than understand people around me, this analysis helped me to understand myself. It also gave me a chance to work on my weaknesses and improve things that are not so great. It is accurately true provided you answer the questions truthfully. 

Having strong Type B straits makes me very resistant to change. But since I have found that about me, I have tried to overcome this. Like when I had to make a move in my career from a very comfortable zone to something unknown I actually took inspiration from my little niece. She had just moved from a very familiar pre-school to a bigger school with no old friends and was doing so good. On the other hand I used to brawl for months when I changed school in 5th standard. Another trait that I wish/work on changing is avoiding confrontation. This is not just related to office but in day to day life. When I think back, I remember all minute details of instances when I kept quiet when a middle aged man touched me inappropriately in a bus or flashed himself in broad daylight. It can be as simple as not ordering what you want in a restaurant to not disagreeing to an approach a Type A (Dominant) person is putting across. 

These are just small examples, but the usage of this analysis is vast! This theory can be applied in partnerships too. And what better partnership than marriages! DISC can help you identify the best match, so much better than asking useless questions like "favorite movie", "Do you drink" etc. It would be best to avoid two dominants, moreover two compliant or steady's would again have nothing to teach or motivate their better half's about. Just like fashion, it would be best to mix and match and get that perfect look!

Now just go take the test already!

Let me know your thoughts in comments.

Lots of Love:

Sepo

Turning Thirty!

So apparently turning 30 somehow mandates you to turn temporarily crazy. As you reach this milestone it is just expected that you go nuts and do something that you will soon regret. Ever since we reach maturity, say at around 18 years of age – we start to formulate a list of accomplishments that we would want to achieve by the time we reach a scary age. This scary age is somewhere far in future and for most of the young adults, more often than not it is 30. So when you actually reach this scary age, apart from the realization that you are now errr old, the fact that many of the accomplishment remain unfulfilled triggers off a series of unpleasant actions.

2019 was the year I kicked the bucket of the so called dirty 30s. Thankfully the realization of being 30 was a smooth one (Well, I did get bangs but I am just going to pretend that it doesn’t count). Good company, good food and drinks, lots of dancing and way too much cake. I think the need to not to anything overtly crazy must have sprung from the fact that I am already a wee bit crazy to begin with. Icing on the cake is the fact that I somehow manage to find just the right kind of crazy people in my tribe. And my desperate need to be the coolest aunt to my little nieces and nephews mandates that I spend a lot of time with young guns which gets me to speed on whatever the kids are indulging in nowadays. So in short I did not feel even a slight bit older. It was just another year of “Hey, Happy Birthday To You’s”.

It’s not like I did not have a list-of-things-to-before-I-turn-30, some were accomplished, others were swiftly move to the other two lists – Things-to-do-before-i-turn-40 and the other very convenient things-to-do-before-I-die! Like they say age is just a state of mind. That’s what I thought on my birthday, because nothing seemed much different from when I was well, 29. Of course I feel older, more responsible but I want to keep my carefree side as-is. I can see crow’s feet near my eyes but that just means I have laughed a lot. My metabolism has most definitely slowed down over the years, but then how else was I going to invest in athleisure wear for the gym. I refuse to behave a certain way just because I have hit that benchmark. Nopes. Not gonna happen. I still want to make boomerangs when I am 60 (If I make it that far). I aspire to be the granny who wears the brightest shade of red with a nice string of pearls.

But when you do hit 30s, it is a good idea to sit down with your 29 years of wisdom and do a little introspection. How to you want to grow as a person, in your career, what’s happening with terms to the family. I did this heart to heart couple of weeks into my turning 30 when one of friend pointed out how the introduction page of my blog needs updating. A little background – I had created the introduction when I was at the ripe old age of 23 – naïve and quite incapable of understanding just how lazy I am. Because I had crazy aspirations back then. Apparently I wanted to be a fashion blogger, like yea that’s ever going to happen. I literally have to bribe my husband with Roganjosh and Spaghetti Aglio Olio for a couple of pictures. And I can feel the heat of deadly stares my friends give me when I utter the words “meri photo lena please”. Plus I hardly have any makeup skills or know any hairstyles. The only beauty experience I have is giving my sister a nice brown-black spot on the nose when I tried cleaning up her blackheads. Moreover I hardly have the enthusiasm or energy for ideas on how to style a crop top in 5 different ways. And while we are on the topic of crop tops, well who are we kidding no filter is gonna hide that cute little tummy tire. So there goes the fashionista career down the drain.

Next in the wish list was writing a book, and I quote directly written by 23 year old me “My things-to-do-in-future list includes writing a book (sometime when I am 30).” Awwwww. So much innocence in one sentence. I may not have known it then but I do now. Writing a book is no mean feat. It takes me almost 15 days at an average to write a blog post. Inception of an idea in my mind, some thoughts to make it grow, then the penning of a paragraph or two, dead-end, the wait, then continue with a fresh mind. It is a lot of hard work. And it is nothing compared to what is involved in book writing. Salman Rushdie had mentioned in this autobiography that he spends the first few hours his day completely dedicated to writing, whatever it maybe, makes sense or not but he writes. I however possess no such discipline. On some mornings I delay to pee so that it doesn’t break my sleep. Plus I still need some experience, travel, meet different people to have the relevant skill needed to indulge in something as big as book writing. I now know I still may not be ready when I am 40 and that’s perfectly okay with me.

So all in all my contemplation was a good one. Nailed down few need-immediate-attention items. Pushed some far away, few far far away, a lot of stuff was taken down (read pink/purple hair). But mostly we are just taking each day as it comes. Being less judgmental. Practicing live and let live. Letting people just be. Less gossip. And absolutely no slandering. Light dinners. Occasion Pizzas. More green tea. A workout here and there. More statement pieces. Less pictures. More experiences. A lot more travel. Lesser nagging. Minimal junk. More fruits. And lots of love.

And on that note, since you have been a patient reader, here are some pictures from the mad mad 30th birthday.

Stay Sexy People!

Love:
Sepo

Being Kashmiri :Yakhin (Mutton Yakhni) and Thool Razma

The first installment of this post can be found here.

Since I last wrote about Dum Monjj I have been cooking up a storm (like literally!). We have tried almost all types Kashmiri food - Greens, pulses, dried veggies and non vegetarian delicacies. But if there is something that is almost never tried in our house hold is anything that has yellow based gravy or for that matter yogurt based. And that's because the boy absolutely detests anything and everything that is not fiery red. He loves to have his food insanely spicy and twists his face at the very mention of something yellow or white. So I have never really prepared mutton kaliya or Yakhni or tscchat rass (soups).

But this time I had to really put my food down. I had been craving Mutton Yakni since long time but instead of just eating I was also craving to cook it. So I did what had to be done and Yakhni was made. Might I add with aah-mazing results. So I decided that something so good must be documented for proof and well, for future reference. Plus someone looking to make some yakhni can hop on here too.

It's almost winters everywhere. There is that slight nip in the air. Mornings have you reaching for that cosy shawl and evenings for your favorite blanket. The falling leaves bring a strange kind of re-assurance, a promise of new beginnings. The bare branches of trees, although forlorn are still beautiful. The onsite of winters makes way for turtlenecks, oversize pherans, hot water bottle, naar josh (Kangri) and comfort food. The first bite of Yakhni with baatt myound (morsel of rice) was this perfect winter comfort food. So without any further delay jumping straight to the recipe.

Ingredients:
1/2Kg Mutton
Any Refined oil
About 400g of Yoghurt
4-5 cloves
5-6 Green cardamoms
1 Cinnamon Stick
A pinch of black jira
2 Black cardamoms
Asafoetida
Fennel powder
Dry ginger powder
Dry mint powder
Fresh coriander for garnish


Steps:

1. First  we deal with the mutton. Now originally the recipe simply involves boiling the meat in spices. But I like to fry the mutton a bit to get rid of that raw-ish looks. So in just about a spoonful of oil with a little hing (Asafoetida), I stir fried the mutton till it changed its color to umm un-raw.

2. Now add crushed black cardamoms, some salt, about two spoons of fennel powder and half a spoon of ginger powder.

3. Next add enough water to just cover the mutton and pressure cook for about 2 to 3 whistles.

You can have the broth as soup by the way.

4. Now in a thick bottomed vessel, add beaten dahi with grounded cinnamon stick, green cardamom, cloves and jira on medium heat. You can add whole spices as well instead of grinding them but I like to keep my gravy neat.

5. Keep stirring the concoction until you can no longer feel your arms or the curd starts to thicken and bubble. At this point add a kriscch (deep bottomed ladle) full of oil. Now don't be stingy with the oil. Unless your yakhni has that floating layer of oil on top, it is even yakhni?

Bubble bubble you beauty

6. Check your meat now, should be cooked and tender by now. Take the meat pieces and mix with the yoghurt gravy. You may add some broth from the cooked mutton and let everything cook together for 10-15 minutes. Add dried mint and mix well. Once the gravy starts to thicken, take off from heat and garnish with fresh coriander. And your yakhni is ready!

The fruit of labour

Enjoy with white rice and some spicy green chutney.

From Left - Corriander/Raw Mango chutney, Thool Razma and Yahkni. And rice ofcourse

Thool Razma you ask? Also called cranberry beans they come inside a pod like peas. They are adorably shaped like an egg, hence the name "thool" which means egg in kashmiri. These are seasonal and available for a limited time. So we kashmiri's buy them in bulk, invest in the labor of shelling them and then freeze them for later use. These beauties also make long distance travels to places where they are not available like Delhi, Hyderabad and even overseas. There are many different ways of cooking them up. I have an easy peazy one pot recipe for all lazy people like me.

1. In a pressure cooker heat up some oil. Add some jira, few pods of garlic and grated ginger.

2. Once the oil becomes fragrant add onions and fry until golden brown.

3. Now add red mirchi powder, dry ginger powder and fennel powder. Give a good stir and add tomatoes.

4. Next add some salt, wait for the tomatoes to get mushy. Now in go the Thool ramza. Mix them a bit with the masala and add water.

5. The rajma should be done in 2 to 3 seethees especially if you are using frozen ones like me.

6. Finally add some garam masala and cook until the gravy thickens.

And that's all folks.

Close-up

Love:
Sepo.