SSB – The Secret Single Behaviour

We all share an unexplainable relationship with our own selves. Some call it the voice of the mind, while others say it’s the voice of your heart. Whatever it is, we share our happiness, sorrows and sometimes frustrations with this voice. It helps us in making decisions and is something we would call our little guiding light.

Over the last decade the scenario of staying alone has become imperative and also somewhat fashionable. Which means you are on your own for your day to day needs like say visit to the doctor, buying groceries or catching up on your favorite movie. This has also led to the popularization of thingf s like instant food, meal-for-one takeaways and other stuff which make our life lazy easy. I have indulged in a healthy amount of solo venturing which comprises of brunching, shopping and movies. This was however always accompanied by a facade of a no nonsense attitude and a pretension of being busy by burying into a book or the mobile. Over recent times I have noticed a change in the perspective; firstly there are a lot many solitary shoppers and eaters out there and secondly the facade has lifted. There are no pretensions no busy looks. Just roam around or sit back munching your food and stare back at the people who happen to look your way.

Now coming to the actual context of the post, the secret single behavior. When you live alone you develop a very intimate kinda relationship with yourself. The privacy and the loneliness makes you realize certain traits about yourself which you were earlier unaware of. These are your deep dark secrets which you’d dare not reveal even to your best-est friends. These activities are done only in seclusion for the fear of being ridiculed and called weird or crazy. Just like everyone else I too had a list of secret single behaviors (some of which I was totally unaware of). While researching for this post I referred to many links online and also talked to my solo-living-friends. I was really happy and astonished to see that the stuff about me I keep hidden is shared by many all across the globe. Also some inconsequential stuff which we tend to ignore are sometimes what irritates the hell out of people. Like I have this habit of constantly humming to a song while going about household activities like cooking, washing, bathing or ironing. I do this subconsciously engrossed in the work but it irritates some people. But some like it so I sing anyway (what also helps is the fact that I have a sweet voice). Another habit of mine which I never thought could bother someone is my style of washing heavy-duty clothes like bed sheets/towels etc. I hate every job that is associated with the maintenance and sustenance of clothes (except buying and wearing). The whole exercise of washing, squeezing, drying and ironing drives me crazy. Now normal clothes I can still manage bear but bedding, I have no patience for, so I just keep them soaked in detergent and then (overcome by laziness) on the pretext of cleaning them properly I keep them soaked for days (weeks?). But yea I do keep changing the detergent water to avoid the smell and all.

So you get the drift the things we feel are normal are sometimes not-so-perfect and our hidden-agenda’s sometimes may not be so weird. So now time to spill the beans. Hers a consolidated list of SSB’s. Some are mine; some are of friends and some of the popular ones which I narrowed down during my research on the subject. GO bonkers:

1- Not talking bath for as long as possible

2- Living on take ways and instant noodles

3 -Watching back to back episodes of popular sitcoms again and again and again

4 -Listening to loud music and dancing like you are giving a live performance

5 -Living the unclean dishes soaked in water and then forgetting about them

6 -Plucking eyebrows in a brightest spot in the home

7 -Talking to yourself in the mirror

8 -Eating meals straight from the dishes they were cooked in.

9 -Having ice-cream for dinner

10 -Dodging calls because you are not in mood to talk

11 -Finishing really big meals all yourself.

12 -Wearing same set of clothes without washings more than once twice

13 - Eating a lite dinner and then munching over a packet of on potato chips

14 -Going out to buy groceries to cook, come back and order Chinese for lunch

15 -Play dress up and put on dramatic makeup without anywhere to go

16 -Online window shopping without any intend of buying anything

17 -Skipping on the personal grooming rituals

18 -Using the washroom with the door open

19 -Walking around doing household chores in high heels

20 -Obsessive compulsive no-split-end behavior.

There is nothing obscurely weird or crazy about these things. Some of them are really simple and normal. That’s the beauty of these things. They exist and are best enjoyed in solitude. I mean why would one want to eat a huge meal alone, when you have someone to share with it. That said I still stand by the fact that a majority of these stuff should be avoided in presence of the men folks.

P.S The topic and title of this post has been taken from the episode “The Good Fight” (Season 4, Episode 13) of SATC. I had wanted to write this post a certain way, but I just could put in writing what I had in mind. I have taken way too much time to publish this but still I am not too happy with the results.

Wish you all lovely people a very Happy New Year.

Love:

SEPO