Dieting or Die (eating)

Sometimes I think about all the times I mindlessly ate Pizzas bursting with cheese, sandwiches drowned in mayonnaise, bread with a thick layer of butter, unlimited momos, desi chowmein suitably sprinkled with harmful MSGs and ajinomoto, pakoras fried in oil of a very questionable color. Ahh the reckless days of youth.No one to guide you to say - A moment of the lips, forever on the hips.

Although in the prime of youth one can afford the luxury of eating all the junk but the issue is that it forms a habit and you start to develop the taste. And man! Nothing tastes as good as unhealthy food. Nothing is as addictive as the taste of fat. Don't get me started on the withdrawal symptoms of unhealthy food - the sudden urge to eat an entire box of caramel salted ice cream at midnight is real.

Now sometime back, I undertook a challenge to eat healthy at least during the weekdays. Little did I know that it would lead to a road full of contradictions and confusions. Just like in any department, marketing plays a huge role in the health industry (if I may call it so). Ever since I started to Ahem increase in size, I observed a very peculiar scenario - every other month, one or the other food item is promoted as a healthy super-food. You just have to have it in order to stay fit and lose weight or you must be stuck in a rut of trying-to-lose forever. Now you may not pay heed - but you will spot this super-food everywhere - Newspapers, Instagram, Hoardings or some actress with enviable abs will be seen promoting and swearing by it.

At one point of time it was the egg whites. Yellow was the enemy. Chuck the yolk, everyone said. Unhealthy fats, heart diseases, diabetes - the list of bads was endless. I remember reading about how whipping up an omelette of 6 egg whites (with veggies, of course) was the ideal breakfast and whites of boiled eggs was the ideal pre-workout meal. Then some years back there was another theory about how the yolk is super loaded with essential nutrients. People with Vitamin D deficiency (which is like every other person) should definitely have an egg a day (with the yolk intact!). For a person like me who loves the yoke, no amount of egg whites satisfied me or my appetite.

Next boom was about Blueberries. Apparently packed with antioxidants - which fight everything from aging to acidity, it was the ultimate breakfast food. Whether or not its local to where you stay was not taken into consideration. It just had to be had as-is or in a smoothie. And that reminds me of the smoothie trend. Nutri bullet sales skyrocketed like nobody’s business because of this. Smoothie bowls of distinct colors garnished with fruits and myriad of seeds was the ultimate Instagram-able breakfast food. Although why no one stops to ponder on how these non-native fruits and ingredients are burning a very gaping hole in our pockets is beyond me! My tryst with blueberries ended quickly when I spotted them in a supermarket priced at some Rs 550 for 250 grams.

The liquid diet cleanse was really big at one point of time (or maybe still it) . Everyone from Beyonce to Jacqueline were seen endorsing it. RAW came up with 5 to 6 liquid meal packs which took care of all the necessary nutrients. Mornings with citric, mid morning and lunch with cold soups, afternoons and dinner with light on the stomach concoctions. For one tiny bottle at a time, the prices sure were exuberant. Flavor infused waters were another rage. But many people counter argued that apart from flushing out toxins the liquid diet can hamper the body by making it loose essential vitamins etc.

Then came avocado. And everything else took a back stage. Suddenly everyone’s favorite snack was avocado toast. Yours truly inspired by all the coverage this vegetable fruit got, shopped for my very own first Avo. No prior experience ensured that I pick up the wrong (unripe) one. I was expecting buttery creamy taste but could hardly swallow my bitter toast. I wondered why the world was going ga ga over this shit which was probably just a distinct cousin of the karela. But soon I made amends by learning the right way avocado from a dear friend. And now avo toast topped with fried egg is my favorite breakfast.

To make matters more complicated than ever there is this new section of people who only eat gluten free and vegan. The list of foods they can eat is minuscule as compared to the ocean of food they cannot (or choose not to). I am sure what they eat is healthy and beneficial. But how do you suddenly make a drastic change from what you have grown up eating to something totally different. And how can you be suddenly lactose intolerant after years of gulping bottles of milk. My kashmiri brain took a somersault when I read you are not allowed to have dairy. Everything else is fine but no dahi? For a kashmiri a person who does have curd is a freak. After paracetamol, good old zamdodh (curd) is the ultimate cure for all ailments.

Amid all the madness, I find dietitian Rituja’s voice pretty sane. She insists on eating local and seasonal. Backed with scientific significance (and Kareena Kapoor’s body), I really like how she encourages good eating habits by not making them scary and complicated. I feel half the battle is lost right when you complicate a diet with ingredients that either cost a bomb or need to be specially sourced. Then prep time also matters. When I come home tired from office and have a Martha Steward kinda recipe to attend to, I would rather just Swiggy or Zomato thinking just this one time. But soon enough it forms a habit and leads to a post like this one :)

So for now I am taking heed from Rituja and taking baby steps towards eating better. No fads, no super-foods only ghar ka fresh khana. And some avo toast once in a while :)

Stay healthy people!

Love:
Sepo

Me Too #Not

Okay, if I hear another #MeToo news/article I will scream. Oh I will scream so bad. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of empathy for all the women out there who have had to bear the brunt of disrespect and harassment. But of late it’s getting a bit much.

Pick up the newspaper and it’s splattered all over. Browse through Instagram and you will see Rakhi Sawant doing god knows what wearing something that doesn’t make any sense and speaking, well I have no patience to hear what she says. If this is not enough, very recently there was this girl who stripped down to resist getting arrested/escorted by the police. I don’t know about others but I get really affected by all this negativity. Call it living in a bubble but I like to believe the best in people. Not all people are good I know, that but we always have the option of staying away from them.

Just because there is bad in the world doesn’t mean there is no good. The fact that few men choose to use their power and position for dishonorable deeds doesn’t mean all do so. All men cannot and must not face the brunt of a few lascivious men. And most importantly no women should exploit her position, her gender, the laws and the trending topic to her advantage or for personal vendetta. Doing this dissolves the good intension behind every movement. People start to react to every story henceforth with a pinch of salt and mostly it just shoves back genuine cases back to where they came from.

There is now a lot of dis-credibility associated with anything that a woman reports. And why shouldn’t it be, after all there have been so many fake cases. Irony is that hundreds of genuine cases may not shake people, but one fake case and everyone will become a cynic. I feel as women it is our responsibility to report responsibly. Not indulge in unnecessary male bashing for petty issues and for heaven’s sake stop calling everything and anything to be a feminist. People have given such a bad name to being a feminist, it breaks my heart when I see and hear people calling derogatory terms like Feminazis. Le Sigh. I wish people would understand that feminism is about EQUAL rights, not about special treatment.

After reading all these disturbing stories, I thought about my personal instances of MeToo. And of course there were many. I am sure every girl out there has encountered these situations in different forms and times. I am however also sure that many girls would have something positive, heart-warming or good memory associated with a member of opposite sex. Because come-on not all men are sexual predators. By the means of this post, I decided to think of these memories or instances where I felt SAFE or touched emotionally in the company of the XY chromosome holders.

Year 2005. The Silent Protector
I was in 11th standard and used to go for tuitions and commute in local buses. It was autumn, the days were getting shorter and it used to be very dark by the time we were free from our classes. It was a popular center so a lot of guys used to sit outside on their bikes and chitter chatter loudly. Some amount of teasing, shouting and whistling was also indulged. So when I used to cross the road and wait for my bus, it was a slightly uncomfortable feat even though the banter from the boys may not have been necessarily directed towards me. There was this one boy who I began to notice used to stand with me till I boarded the
bus. I happened to know where he lived and hence noticed that he missed many of the buses going to his route. I expected to receive a fraanship offer from him very soon. But no such thing happened, soon the tuition classes got over and that was that. It was years later I came to know that he felt he should wait for me to board the bus and then leave as it was dark and I was alone. What a sweet gesture, no?

Year 2016. The fundraiser
This was right after demonetization. I had Rs 60 left in my wallet. Banks were overcrowded, ATMs were out of cash and friends were all under the cash crunch. So I had taken to book cab rides for my 4km journey from office to PG instead of the usual auto-rickshaw. Now this was pre Google pay and PayTM too was just starting to get popular. I was entirely relying on the Ola money for my transportation. One fateful night the cabs started to play me by cancelling the rides, not picking up the calls etcetera etcetera. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown when finally one arrived. We got to talking as he was curious why I was booking cabs for such short distance. I explained him my financial crunch and then he said something that I will never forget. He said how I was like his daughter and I can borrow Rs 500 from him. It was a really big gesture, as cash was like really scarce and there was this huge fixation with the new notes. Remember how everybody back then was taking selfie’s with 2000 and 500 notes? I declined the offer politely but not before thanking him profusely.

Year 2006. The Designer
Ask any engineering student and they will share how they were petrified of a subject called Mechanics. Not me though. It was Engineering Drawing that gave me the heebie jeebies. The drafter, chart holder, HB pencils, scale, compass and what not! I had all the accessories but knew very little on how to use them properly. The teacher, though very good taught in a manner that I just could not connect to. And call it bad luck but whenever we had the lab session for drawing wherein you can practice on drawing boards I met with some or the mishap. Once I fainted because we had to keep standing for long periods of time and the fan above was moving at a snails speed. Another time I had freaking bad cramps. Some other time we decided to bunk and sit outside in our special dhabha and eat stuffed naan and rajma with imli and mulli ki chutney. Omg my mouth just filled with whole lotta saliva! Anyhow coming back to the topic as is evident by now I had minuscule knowledge about the subject. Now we were supposed to submit two assignments before final assessment and I had already missed the deadline for the first one and the second one was due a day after. In despair I started to panic. One of my friend (very good at the subject) made both the assignments for me. Omg. I was on cloud 9 literally! Now before to jump to any conclusions he had a huge crush on some other girl from our class, so this was just a simple good deed done for a stupid lazy girl. Now the final assessment was very adventures too, but that’s a different story for a different time.

So yea. That’s all I could remember in this short span of time I dedicated in penning down this post. Do update in comments if you have a similar story to share. Would love to hear.

Lots of love:
Sepo

North and South at loggerheads

5 years 4 months and 23 days ago, I had this epiphany which made me drill down to the strain between the people divided geographically in the same country i.e. India. These geographic areas namely being the North and the South. The drill down was mandated at that time due to my sudden acquaintance with people from all across the country. Before this I had not interacted majorly (nothing beyond pleasantries) with anyone belonging from outside of Jammu & Kashmir. All my friends at school and college were from the city of Jammu. It is strange how we stay cocooned in our little world and we form a certain picture of the places and people that are not a part of our world. I had many pre conceived notions about people outside of J&K. But moving to a different place – a potpourri of all cultures and people from different ethnicity, taught me a lot. It taught me that whatever stereotypes of different Indian states I have in my mind are all bullshit. There are basically just two categories you can categorize people in – good and bad. Everything else is nothing but a sham. This was my belief until...

Until I was a spectator of the ground reality. So here I am reporting directly from the south. The notions and typecasts that the people here have about the northern states have invoked different emotions from me at different times. And they have ranged from funny to bizarre and anger to downright hurt. In general everyone’s good, helping and very sweet. But some instances highlighted to me the deep routed prejudice that seems to be etched in the minds of people. So here goes the first incident  that highlighted what people here think of us the fellow northerners. The atmosphere is light, coffee is strong, conversations flow and the topic somehow turns towards kids. A new dad comments on the pressures involved in raising a baby and how paternity leave should be introduced. I remind him that it was brought about in picture until Maneka Gandhi dismissed it by stating that men will probably consider it to be a vacation. The next statement I heard resulted in an open-mouth-for-30-seconds kind of situation for me. He said that she (Mrs Gandhi)  should not generalize men like this, maybe people from Delhi or Bihar do this but here people are decent and sensible. Even though the states he mentioned are considerably far from my place but I somehow sensed that he had just wanted to say “North”, people from North but refrained from saying it because of my presence there. I wanted to correct him, show my anger, and present him with convincing arguments to counterfeit his views but all these thoughts were so messed up in my head because of a burst of different emotions that I thought it best to be quiet. It was difficult but I managed. Also the tone of his voice had a strange finality to it, like this was it. Period. He had just assumed it to be the truth and it would be hard if not difficult to change his mind on it.

When my anger got cooled off, I got to thinking about how it was not his mistake. His negative opinion about men from Bihar and Delhi was not formed overnight. It was probably after years of hearing troublesome news and stereotypical images portrayed in the movies. Delhi is no stranger to bearing the brunt of bad reviews. From rape capital to arrogant people. Delhi is on the lowest possible position on any list. Similarly Bihar also does not top the charts on the popularity quotient. Any person from Bihar is inevitably assumed to be a gang member or a criminal or simply a laborer. While Bihar is comparatively a poor state with a considerable amount of lawlessness, it in no way signifies that it is devoid of decent population of people. People do not stop going to Mexico because of all the drug trafficking and crimes. Detroit is one of the most unsafe state in USA but that did not deter Chrysler to set up its business functions there. I happen to have met many people from Bihar in the last few years and they have shattered all the misconceptions and stereotypes I had in my head about Bihar. People from Bihar are smart, extremely sharp and intelligent, civil service aspirants, Dhoni fans, pronounce sort as short (which I find adorable by the way), have immense knowledge about politics and cricket, are extremely helpful and make mind-blowing chokha with sattu ke paranthe. I strongly feel we should stop using the term Bihari like a derogatory term and use it like we use the terms Gujarati, Marathi, Kashmiri, Punjabi or Oriya! Change starts with an individual and spreads slowly. It is really time we stop behaving like small scattered communities and come together as Indians. Stop saying things like “what is this North Indian doing here in South” and “Why is this South Indian in North”. We are Indians and we are entitled to visit and enjoy every state from ladakh to Trivandrum and everything in-between. I am beyond offended when people after hearing I am from Jammu & Kashmir comment “Goodness! You came here from so far”. All I can say is people can cross seven seas, go to the moon or even Mars but my two hop plane journey from my hometown is far!

Now coming to the other incident, this time we were coming back from lunch. In the lift slowing moving towards our destination, suddenly the lift door opens in-between and a girl walks in. She is dressed smartly and talking animatedly on the phone. She gives up talking on the phone after entering the lift and gets down one floor before our destination. As soon as she leaves, people around me start talking in telugu about the girl. *Something Something* North *Something Something Something* ridiculous *Something Something* fancy *Something Something* Clothes *Something Something Something* and laughing. I ask my colleague about the joke but he just shrugs it off. But I am far from shrugging it off, so I try to find the cause of the humor. The girl was dressed in a comparatively fashionable manner which makes her a minority in the crowd of simple dresses usually seen. But I must iterate that she was in no way dressed in an overtly fashionable way, trust me, simple shirt and trousers combo with open hair and a dash of eyeliner, which by the way is also my staple dressing style for office. Maybe that’s the reason why the joke on her pinched me. I just did not like that how they simply deduced that she was a Northie (as if it was written on her forehead) and used it in a very unpleasant way. I agree that there are certain telltale characteristics by means of which we can identify people of different sect but I feel that they used be used to admire different cultures and the ethnic potpourri we call India. We all feel that we as an individual and our culture is the best, there is nothing wrong in that though. The wrong comes when we decide that other cultures are blasphemous. It’s not just about Bihar or Delhi, people have something or the other associated with every state and sect. Even a corporate set up, which is supposed to be very Cosmo is not safe from the north south politics. It is a very general belief that a person from North, working under a manger from South is doomed. The reverse of this situation also holds truth. Go to quora or any major MNC’s confession page on Facebook, you will see tons and tons of stories on how a manger from North, did not recommend a South Indian team member for an onsite opportunity and how a South Indian manger gave a very bad rating to North Indian team member even though he slogged all year long! These stories are not entirely false, all this does happen, mostly because people are not given a chance to prove themselves and decisions are taken based on pre conceived notions.

Up until now I was analyzing the situation from a neutral state, which was equally distributed with people from all over India. But since some months I am a minority in a southern city and I feel like an outsider. Which is ridiculous because there should be no reason to feel like an outsider in your own country. I personally love being here, drowning in the culture and cuisine. I eat curd rice with the same gusto I have for rajma chawal. My family enjoys idli vada sambhar even more than aalu parantha. I am slowly warming up to South Indian movies as well and man, are they good! It’s the prejudice people have in their minds that leaves a bitter taste. This prejudice needs to be removed for good from all our minds irrespective of the topography we are in or belong to. So we need to stop making fun of people mixing gun powder with rice for lunch and similarly we need to stop ridiculing roti sabzi by saying its breakfast food. We proudly share the video clip from Namaste London in which Akshay bashes the foreigner and enlightens that India has more than 1500 hundred languages but we do not refrain from making fun of distinctive accents that people from various states have. We love imitating UK, USA, European accents but leave no stone upturned to humiliate our fellow people. We assume a girl to be “fast” if she is dressed in something that is outside our comfort zone, god forbid if she has a tattoo or something, which would border on being scandalous. Making judgments from afar without actually getting to know the person personally is more wrong that any word in my vocabulary can justify.

The bottom-line is there are no good or bad communities, there are no stereotypes and moreover there is always an exception to the rule. We are all individuals and while our culture, rituals and ethnicity define our lifestyle and habits, how we ultimately turn out as a human entirely depends on us and the etiquettes we have. Let’s have an open heart and embrace people as they are, strictly on the basis of how they are rather than from where they belong to.

Love:
Sepo

The Year It Was!

Like all good things, this year too is just about to come to an end. With the year-end, we have also come to this blog's 7th birthday! In terms of content this year has been the most dismal for the blog. I have written very few posts, I mean like I can literally count them on my fingers. I have been busier, been without a laptop, without an internet connection and still managed to churn out post after post for my beloved blog. But this time despite no such challenges there was no fire to write for months altogether.

When I look back I can see multiple reasons that amounted to this very dry spell on Rendezvous. Firstly, I started year 2016 on a very low note. I used to consider myself extremely self-sufficient but early months of 2016 really showed me what loneliness could do to you. I was suddenly left alone in a very unfamiliar zone and I had no cushion to fall back on. There was no one to talk to or share. Of course, friends were just a phone call away but everyone was busy in their own lives. Then there was this immense work pressure at office for few months which was good for loneliness but drained out all creative energies I might have had.

To add to this I faced rejections about my writing and writing style consecutively and that too in the most unprofessional way possible. First happened last year so that’s old news. The latest one affected me more because the opportunity arrived through a friend. Now this person with whom I was working was all praises for my work, snippets of which he had seen and read on my blog. His expectations from me were very different from my writing style but I am always up for any challenge. His initial talks and discussions with me gave me an idea about his passion towards the ecommerce site he was planning to open. After some discussions I agreed to work for the peanuts (in the name of monetary remuneration) he was offering.

I started to received loads of work from him. This did not involve just writing but major research, googling, picture hunting, burning midnight oil and what not! And he was huge on deadlines, before even assigning the work he made sure to let me know the delivery date. Believe it or not I once literally slogged myself and did not sleep an entire night to complete the work assigned. I have never sacrificed my sleep for anything! Not my board exams, not even any of my engineering exams (however underprepared I must have been), not for any lover, not even during my sisters' wedding!

Well after this all nighter, I received a list of changes that Mr Wannabe Perfectionist wanted me to incorporate. And my friends, that was the last I heard of him. I mean from messaging me, calling me and emailing me 10 times a day, he just vanished away in reallly thin air! I assumed him to be busy or something and decided to take a chill pill. After a couple of weeks while chatting with the common friend I came to know that Mr Wannabe was not too happy about my writing skills and I did not match up to a picture he had in mind. So, he had decided to move ahead (without letting me know, of course). He also happened to mention to my friend about how he once asked for a quick result and I stayed up all night completing it. He apparently found it very amusing. On the other hand, I was far from being amused. But a lady as I am, I only swore under my breath and took it in my stride.

But this was highest level of unprofessionalism I have ever encountered, I mean I know I ain't no Margaret Mitchell but just at least let me know that you are not digging my writing skills, suddenly cutting all ties is not a solution! No one expects this kind of behavior from an aspiring entrepreneur. Last I heard his endeavor is not going all that great and I am not surprised about it!

Moving on, these episodes of my rejections somehow had a very negative impact on me. I lost the confidence on my writing skills and drowned my sorrows in TV series, Web series and autobiographies of Padma Laxmi and her ex Mr Salman Rushdie. But the more I read, more I started to miss writing. I always had this dream of writing for someone - a website, any magazine, any start up, mostly just anything. Although I have received many opportunities for the same in the last 2 years, it has somehow always left me incomplete. With the excitement and efforts that I put in during writing, the pain of rejection for me has double the impact. So, for the sake of my self-respect, I have taken a decision to be content with only writing for my blog. This blog has stood by me in my happiest moments as well as in my lowest of low moments.

So here’s to new beginnings, smarter decisions and no more letting people taking me for a ride! Happy 7th Birthday to Rendezvous and a very Happy Near Year to all of you!

Love:
Sepo!

An Observation!

Are we as a new generation becoming ultra-modern in our approach?

The modernity reflects in every aspect of our lives, be in the way we dress, the food we eat, the clothes we buy and the way we talk. Just look around yourself and you will see - a very similar approach we are following as a society.

I spend a lot of my time alone. And to spend this time nicely I am forever looking out for quint little cafe's where I can just unwind with a cup of coffee and a great book. But often this very exquisite rendezvous with myself turns into an observation exercise. I love analysing people sitting around me, listening to snippets of their communication, drooling over the food they order etc. Now I understand this makes me sound like a creep but this is something most of us do - irrespective of whether we admit it or not.

Anyhow moving on the thing that I realized after many occasions of my serious analysis is that there is a very considerable change that has come across in the last few years. And this change is having an exponential effect, slowly spreading its wings and becoming a part of our day to day approach. Now let’s discuss about these subtle changes in a little detail. I want you to think about any couple with kids, just think about the way they talk to the child. 8 out of 10 times you would recall parents talking and encouraging the kid to talk in English! Now I know many people with argue what is wrong with that? There isn’t. In fact, I am assuming that many parents do this so that their kids are more adaptable and aware. I say many because there is a section of people who purely do so to appear cool. Even that’s fine, to each his own! I mean who i am to judge how and in what way anyone wants to groom their kids. But my only qualm is how our mother tongues and regional languages suffer due to this. I feel it’s important to converse with kids in our mother language first. Common languages like Hindi and English are secondary. English anyhow kids will learn in school. I have an example to back this up! I had this south Indian family as my neighbors some time back. They had a beautiful little girl who only responded in broken Telugu. Her parents made it a point to speak to her only in their mother tongue. She faced issues when she joined school. Initially she had trouble understanding the teacher and other kids. But trust me in like two weeks she was speaking better Hindi than her parents! By the age of 5 she already knew three languages – Telugu, Hindi and English.

So all I am saying is that let the children get to know their culture, be close to their roots, have their own identities and be proud of their heritage. Once they are aware of their roots, it becomes more easier for them to adapt and shoe interest in new endevours!

Love:

Sepo

Some Keen Observational Theories

1. The closer you are to a person the harder it is to tell them the truth – an honest opinion you have about them. On the other hand the closer a person is to you, higher is the chance of you venting out all your accumulated anger on them.

2. Some people get up in the morning, open their cupboards and wear the first thing(s) they spot. Irrespective of whether they are event appropriate or matching with each other. Now we are not expecting you to be dressed up to nine, looking like diva’s or studs. But green colored pants with purple Tee, red colored polka dotted pants to office and a tight fitted top struggling to stay on a plump frame is not a sight for the sore eyes.

3. While we are on the subject of clothes another important point. Leggings are not pants. Yes, even if you are a proud owner of a 26inch waist. They were made for kurta’s and look horrible with tops and shirts.

4. There are some people who go grocery shopping and forget one very important article every month. We are talking about the DEO here. Small word big benefits. Coz, sitting in cramped spaces with air conditioner blowing the same stale air, trying to breathe through your elbow or hair in public transport ain’t no fun.

5. When you finally get that motivation to join gym and one week down the line you start feeling somewhat fabulous about yourself – people will start commenting on how fat you look. Well, that drives you right towards those creamy macaroons and Dutch truffles.

6. An observation based on the above point. People criticize you when you are thin, they will criticize you when you are fat, and they will probably find something wrong with you when you are actually pretty alright. Listen to the people who matter, ignore the rest and do what YOU like. Just do your thang.

7. After a particular age you just loose interest in making new friends. You become content with the close set of fools you have managed to keep over the years. Friendships often sprout during those carefree phrases of live. Once responsibility kicks in, you’d rather make acquaintances rather than friends. That said, some rare exceptions are always there.

8. You start developing a “taste” for things. Now this can be anything ranging from clothes to furniture to alcohol. While in your teens and early twenties you are ready to experiment, as you mature you’d probably invest and explore something that you are familiar with!

9. However hard you try, innumerable promises you make – People still drift apart. In spite of all the wtsapp, skype and vibers long distance things rarely workout. And for those it does work, well congratulations!

10. Even though you may not realize it and in fact hate using SMS and texting lingo it still reflects in your writing. I just had a hard time understanding why MS word refuses to acknowledge “yourself’ which in my writing flow I had spelled as “urself”. OMG. I gave myself the biggest palm-slap after realizing my mistake.

11. The more you stay alone, the more impulsive and short tempered you get. Adjusting, patience and compromise become pariahical qualities.

12. A heart felt compliment makes everyone happy, no matter how old. So go on and don’t hesitate to make someone happy.

13. When women go on criticizing and complaining about themselves, all they are looking forward for to is some reassurance. "You look great" or "You are awesome" are some acceptable answers. Go not agree with her on this one. Its as simple as that. And men say women are hard to understand.

14. There should be at-least one that thing in life for everyone doing which makes you happy.

15. Lastly, everyone should watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S atleast once. If you aren't, you are definetly missing something really special in life.

LOVE:
Sepo!

The Wrath of the Twitterati

Gone are the days of long romantic letters, informative columns and posts. These days 140 characters rule. You got something to say? You tweet. You got anger to vent? You tweet. You gotta wish someone? You tweet. You like something? You retweet. Twitter had never been so in rage like it is now. Social media definitely has its pros but at the same time its cons cannot be ignored or downplayed.

Everyone has something to say or share on the platform, which is a good thing. You can share across your views and at the same time come to know others point of view. It also gives you a chance to closely follow people you admire. While it is great for celebs to be closely associated with their admirers, it is also a known fact that leering amongst the crowd are haters and trouble makers. Some of them protectively covered under the identity of Anonymous. The kind of comments some of these people leave on popular people’s tweets and pictures will make you cringe.

Being famous has its repercussions. Newspapers were full of how Abhishek Bachan reverted to an insensitive user who targeted his daughter. The senior Bachan was apparently blamed for traffic jams outside his bungalow. Neha Dhupia faced protests outside her home and death threats when she dared to blame the reigning government for monsoon troubles in Mumbai. Rishi Kapoor who was recently called the C word is known to shame people who don’t follow proper code of conduct. Then there are celebs who get trolled for their misinformed tweets. Our desi superhero Hritik Roshan was victimized for his white/blue/black dress tweet and the “tribal” militant attack in Manipur. Anushka Sharma was taken for a class for misspelling Mr Kalam’s name. Sometime back not so popular but still very cute shararaat fame Shruti Seth was on a receiving end of a lot of bullshit from people. She made the mistake of sharing her affront opinion about the selfiewithdaughter campaign by Modi ji.

Now we have to understand that while we may absolutely love butter chicken, there are millions of people all around the world who would find it to be too spicy, overcooked or messy. That does not mean that we go on to attack those people. What works for them might be entirely repulsive to us. Same way while a group of us might be inclined towards one political party and its initiatives others may not agree to it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, however biased it may be. What we can to is engage in a healthy debate on why you disagree or may highlight the benefits of the said initiate for that person to see. But lounging a personal attack, name calling, abusing and mud throwing just makes you a human looking animal. Just because social media allows you to post doesn’t mean that you forget all filter and etiquette involved in it.

What really interested me to Shruti’s case was the open letter she wrote just after the incident. Now open letters are the new fad. These days people write open letters all the time and to just about everybody. They write them to Politicians, film stars, cricketers or all the three together. Who can forget the famous open letter Shenaz Treasurywala wrote to Shahrukh, Modi ji, Salman, Sachin Tendulkar and the likes. But Shruti’s letter was different. It was a very honest and easily the most sensible stuff I had read on the internet in a really long time. Plus the points raised in her letter are pretty valid. How does abusing a women (however wrong you may feel she is) make you a better citizen? The irony is that people did not even stop the hatred after her letter. All the websites that posted her letter has comments flipping mud all over her and her Muslim husband.

And it’s not just about stars or Shruti. The advent of social media has made a commenter out of everyone, which is not at all a bad thing as long as you exercise proper conduct. My personal vendetta is also with people effectively working under the mask of anonymous. I have locked horns with many over the last few years.Browse through any video on YouTube and check the comments. You will be taken aback by the similarity in the content. The fellow commenters start by their likes or dislikes, they come to a point of disagreement and then it starts. Either they will go racist or the ever famous India Vs Pakistan. Then comes the swearing which will make even the most abusing person to run for covers. What baffles me the most is the fact that instead of bad mouthing the person involved, all indulge in abusing their mothers and sisters! Why just why???

This scenario reminds me of a quote from my favorite novel which goes like:
“Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.”

― Khaled Hosseini (A thousand Splendid Suns)

Everything said, I must say that online info sharing has its own set of benefits. It boosts your general knowledge. From Kalam Sir’s death to the porn ban and its revocation. All info is available simultaneously on Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp or Instagram. Hash tags can be easily checked out to get the entire thread of info you need for details. Imagine shopping online and spotting a feedback for the product you are intending to buy. A positive or negative review definitely affects your course of action.A word of caution though, with the speed that things are getting banned now-a-days, it would be a good idea to exercise some precaution. You never know what might just get banned next…






LOVE
SEPO

Of Meddlers and Nose Pokers

I really don’t understand what makes some people so interested in others’ affairs and activities. They leave no stone unturned to dig dirt, scheme and finally blabber what they know to who so ever will listen. Being a private person I like to keep my life a private affair and the presence of such meddlers irritates the hell out of me. Sometimes I just think on what drives these people into such extreme levels of interference. Is it boredom? Insecurity? Dearth of things-to-do? Guilty pleasure? Or maybe there lives are so boring that they find others’ more interesting.

The thing is some of these people hardly know where to draw the line. Ok, so I understand your desperate need to know stuff but must you just go on and on? Asking uncomfortable questions or at times giving unsolicited advice. I once lived with a girl who had a nose bigger than Cyrano de Bergerac (not literally). She just wanted to know everything – the first day she came, I was just done having talked with my friend and the first thing she says to me is, “your boyfriend?” I was like Oh-My-God, who the hell are you, my mom? And it did not stop there, she wanted to know the DOBs of all my family members and explain to me the importance of getting married at 25. A little cough or cold would result in her explaining me the Ayurvedic and antiseptic properties of turmeric. The girl did not even let me snot in peace.

Take the example of the much talked about AIB roast. Just about everyone has an opinion about it. Mr Perfectionist Aamir Khan thinks it’s highly inappropriate even though he has not seen it. His movie Delly Belly full of expletives and double meaning songs is apparently very appropriate. Talk about double standards and hipocracy!

Photo Courtesy - pinterest.com

Then there are people who compliment you. They seem genuine at first, but slowly their ulterior motive comes into picture. After the customary compliment they will dig deep around the outfit with questions like “where did you get it from?”, “how much did it cost?” Now call me a prude but I just hate this kind of intrusion. You like my dress, I get it. But where I got it from is none of your business and it is under no circumstances ok to ask me the cost. I would practically gag before asking someone the price of their clothes or accessories. And the lecture on overspending is again totally uncalled for. Include in it the inability to understand the quirky fashion sense and cracking of lame jokes at its expense. Like calling the awesome evergreen high waist pants as maternity pants. The very in-season pleated skirt as childhood frock and dismissing the funky jewellery pieces as absurd. I know everyone is entitled to an opinion but knowing when to shut up I feel is the ultimate sign of being wise.

I am also amazed at this another category of people – the ones who are a mixture of gossip mongers plus snoopers. They are an expert at twisting the information they know, spreading it like wild fire around them and not caring a bit about the consequences it has on the people involved.Such people usually have a very orthodox thinking and mind you they can be found everywhere. Small town, big town does not matter. If they see you with a person of opposite sex, they will garner all sorts of rubbish in their minds. They will add more spice into the story and start the character assassination. But the thing that bothers me the most is the behaviour they display in front of you. They don’t say what they know directly, instead they give you a look which says they know it all. They whisper things in their comrades’ ears and laugh their hearts out thinking people are oblivious to their stupid private jokes. Little do they realize that it jeopardizes the simple harmless totally unromantic relationship between two individuals. It’s the presence of such people that make it difficult for guys and girls to be friends. And that’s also the reason why I sometimes crave for a gay guy friend. Who I can have fun without bothering about any bullshit people talk about.

There are all these people and then there is Kamal Khan! Have you guys ever had a chance to read his tweets? They are hilarious. Period. But they also signify a streak of something. I really don’t know how to point a finger at it or what to call it, maybe immaturity but it’s eloquent. We all have self-esteem, his happens to be twice the distance from earth to moon. But sadly for him the measure of his stupidity is four times more. I am ok with the fact that he considers himself to be so awesome, we all can put up with delusions. But his overtly derogatory remarks about others is totally unacceptable especially since he himself is such a loser.

Photo Courtesy - bollywoodlife.com

 Finally I want to understand why there is a ban on the documentary of Nirbhaya. We all know what happened, we all have read about the contents of the video on various news feeds. What is the point of banning something that raises awareness? And why is Mr PM not intervening, he talks about making India a powerful nation. Is this a powerful nation? Which cannot handle a documentary that is based on nothing but the truth.

Knowing the fact that even after indulging in such a grueling crime the rapist has no regret what so ever makes us girls even more cautious. Now we know that there are some men out there who are even worse than animals.

P.S I just re read the post and I guess I am just going through the phase where you hate everyone around you. That is the only reason I can have to pick a bone with so many people. And on a different note – how awesome is team India performing in the world cup. So Cool

Love:
Sepo

Perfection Vs Imperfections

Whatever happened to falling in love with imperfections?  The pakoda nose, kajol like unibrow, the unconventional curly hairy, big black mole somewhere on the face, the crooked teeth, the love handles. All these things though considered to be a big no-no in the plastic world are very much a part of the real world. Accepting them as a part of a person should be easy or natural. But guess what, it isn’t. We make it a point to pin out these imperfections and divert out every iota of conviction and confidence inside that person. I say this with my great observation skills and well, sadly personal experiences.

John Gray, the author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a brilliant man. No wonder his book sold out like billion copies. The supposed inhabitants of Mars (which would be men) are so unaware what goes inside a fellow Venusians mind. They just blurt out anything without even stopping to think for a moment on what could be its repercussions. And don’t let me start talking on most Mars-ians obsession with perfection. Especially when it comes to the dream woman. The high standards and picture they have in mind is omg head spinning. Lustrous hair, clear complexion, big melons, slender waist, washer board abs, toned legs and of course shy and homely. That’s your average man’s fantasy women. There are definitely such hotties out there but they do not out-number us unlucky plain janes.

Girls will definitely agree with me when I list out the issues being faced by the likes of us – the non-fantasy-girls. Our hair far from being lustrous resembles a bird’s nest on bad hair days (which is 4 days outta 7). Our skin is prone to zits and flair ups due to adult acne. The food we eat automatically all turns to fat with a special affinity towards our stomach, thighs and bum. Every night we vow not to apply kajal and every morning swiftly change our decision when the mirror has a totally washed out sick looking image to present. We drive our roomates crazy every morning by asking them again and again whether the top we are wearing is making us look fat or highlighting the muffin top near waist. We hate the pain inflicted on our bodies by means of threading & waxing and put off the monthly trips to parlours. This is done till the time friends, co-workers and enemies (mostly males, at least in my case!!) start making fun of the fact that we have mustache and beard. And that our bushy eyebrows makes us look like aliens. Some have been pretty direct by saying that – Girl you need to wax. Now. 

Picture Courtesy - gettyimages.com

Although I am not a girl who you can place into the plain jane category but trust me, I have been a witness and withholder of all these taunts and jokes. None of these jibes, however matches the hurt and the pain felt when someone comments on the fat at some parts of your body or the lack of it at other parts. And as far as I am concerned the timing of these comments is so bad that it literally makes me cry. After a long break I re-join the gym, feeling fabulous after sweating it out on the treadmill. In my mind I am already size zero. Then while I am sipping my green tea (which has recently been swapped with coffee) a particularly pesky co-worker comes up to my desk and comments on how big my biceps look in the sleeveless shirt I am wearing and how my thighs are even bigger than his. This pesky co-worker works out and has a fab body so I am not able to use my signature You-Look-at-yourself-bloody-loser comment. While I was busy killing him in different ways in my head, another guy very subtly suggested me to "do something" about my dry frizzy hair. All I could do was just get angry, give him a dirty look and hit him lightly. Lightly because his muscular body bounces and hits be back.  But on my inside I had already murdered him with burning rage, spilled the hot stupid tasteless green tea across his face and drowned myself in dark chocolates while sobbing at the top of my voice.

I go crazy zooming in and out on pictures especially of events, functions and picnics. These mass shared pictures always have a particularly unflattering picture of mine. Taken from an angle that makes them thighs look thunderous. While sitting face all smiling the tummy area is captured to have multiple layers of fat of which by then I was totally unaware. Then there are always the mouth open, crazy smiling, red eye pictures which keep you awake in the night ~ the thought that you may delete them from your folder but they are there in everybody else’s. In times like this you need someone to utter reassuring words which will instil a beam of new confidence in you. Make your now reluctant feet to cross the threshold of this place called Gym. But my story is so sad that I am unlucky here as well. Don’t get me wrong, I do have a friend in office who plays agony aunt. But she has a weird way of silencing me. On Monday she comforts me by saying that I am not fat, it’s just that my arms are a little bit big for my frame. So far so good. On Tuesday she pacifies me by saying that in trousers my bum looks a little big. Ok. On Wednesday she soothes my tensions by saying that I just need to work on my thighs. Come Thursday and she tells me that if I work on my stomach, I will look perfect. On Friday she ends the week by saying that my double chin looks soo cute. On Saturday while lying on my bed I realize that she has officially, slowly, part by part called me fat without me even realizing it. Discreetly. Different yet not that different from the guys. 

Picture Coutesy - memecrunch.com

 Great, Makes me feel all the more bad (to put it mildly). I am not blinded, deep down I know I need to work on my body. But I want to keep it deep and bury it as far as possible. When someone just keeps on calling you fat in some way or the other, or jokes about it. Well it feels like someone sliced me up, sprinkled the wounds with salt & pepper and then just set me up on fire.

Now if you would just excuse me, I gotta go cry myself to sleep.

Love

Sepo

P.S This is officially the first time I have used crass words like “bum”, “melons”. But I thought that if songs can be made on it (Engine ki seete main maaro bum dhole) I should be able to use it in writing without any filters. As far as melons are concerned I have tried all my self-control not to talk about the taunts about them in detail. Anyhow this is just a small preview of the fact that this good girl has gone bad.