Afghanistan, Mariam & Laila

If you have been following this blog for long, you would know my obsession with Afghanistan and its people. Ever since I read A Thousand Splendid Suns which continues to be my most favorite book of all time, I have wanted to visit this country that has been traumatized again and again. You can find me rambling about the book and the country  here, here, here, here and here. I know it was/is an obsession. 

With the recent developments in Afghanistan combined with the heart wrenching pictures, I have just not stopped thinking about it. My heart goes out to its people. Especially women and children who are more vulnerable and innocent in all this. This country just does not get any breather. The moment things start to look up for them, a new invasion occurs. The take over by Taliban is however not like any other invasion. The set of rules they come up with are stifling just to hear, to be an actual witness to them is something most of us cannot even fathom. Herat, where at one point of time you could not even stretch a leg without hitting a poet is silent. Books, music, art are being burned. Kabul has lost its sheen. You will not spot women shopping or haggling with vendors. Even if you spot one, she will be accompanied by a man not her other women friends. Walking carefully so as not to trip in her burqa. Chapli kebabs stalls look empty. Fruits although fragrant just don't have the same sweetness.

Invariably I end up thinking about Mariam and Laila. How this news would have affected them? What would have been their reaction to this? I am sure Laila would be livid, angry at how they are closing up opportunities and schools for women. I won't be surprised if she still ventures out alone only to be sent back with lashes from the Taliban. Mariam would make her understand that no good can come out of her anger while applying ointment on her wounds. Aziza would join Mariam and both of them pray for better days. Laila's heart would be so full looking at them. Laila sees more and more of Mariam in Aziza every day. Zalmai is playing with the gun pretending to be Taliban. Laila scolds him and he goes running to Tariq. Tariq soothes him, they say the Babaloo prayer together and Zalmai goes to sleep.

Late in the night as Laila and Tariq lay together, they talk about Afghanistan and their future here. They can hear Mariam singing a lullaby to the children in the next room. Tariq suggests moving to Pakistan for some time, till things get better here. They could go to Muree again. Children would love the fresh air, goats, meadows and snow. Aziza could go to school again. But Laila wants none of it. "How can we betray our homeland like this". "Especially when it needs us the most". Laila wants to stay put, she says she will continue teaching both Aziza and Zalmai at home. They can definitely get books from the black market. there is always a way. They will find a way. Tariq is not so sure, but doesn't argue. He doesn't want to agitate her. Mariam's voice calms and soothes them. Aziza is saying something to Mariam in the next room which makes Mariam chuckle. Laila makes a note to ask what she said to Mariam tomorrow and falls asleep on Tariq's shoulder. 

None of them know what tomorrow might bring.

P.S - I know Mariam is no more, but I refuse to believe it. In my memory she lives on.

Love:

Sepo

The Superwoman Syndrome

Remember last year during the first lockdown, when all of us were suddenly deprived of the comfort that our respective helps bring? It was sure a difficult time for all. The scare of corona, truck loads of work and by work I mean all sorts of work imaginable and possible and to top it all up, everyone in the house traped together without any breaks what so ever.  

However after some time we all did get somewhat acquainted with the entire routine. Hell, we even cooked up different storms in the kitchen. Deprived of favorite foods and bored out of wits - everyone became a chef of sorts. People created pages on instagram to showcase their skills and all the deliciousness they were indulging in right from momos to samosas and everything in between.

It was around this time, right between Dalgona coffee and banana bread ~ that Amul created a cartoon acknowledging the support and extra work that womenfolk were doing. The said cartoon had a lady with a laptop and a kid besides her. She was probable on a work call, keeping an eye on the kid and his homework, while counting the whistles from the cooker in the background. 

I had shared this picture in all the social media handles, it felt good that someone acknowledged the efforts that women do, were doing and had done since forever.

Not realized it at that time but it was what our patriarchal  society has done for centuries. A pat on the back and encouragement to just go on. There are numerous marketing campaigns showcasing and praising the superwomens, super moms who just do it all. Have a career, take care of the kids, manage the homes, parents and inlaws, hit the gym, look like a million bucks and have it all together. With this comes immense pressure on others who question their very existence on why if she can do it why can't I. I can, I will and I must. And there you have it, the cartoon where the man is mysteriously missing. Probably giving his undivided attention to work.

The patriarchy is so deeply encrusted in our minds that we feel extremely guilty if we somehow falter in accomplishing these imaginary goals set for women. I remember having this feeling when I had to employ a cook because of an extremely busy time at work. What didnt help to easy the guilt were comments like "its not really that difficult to cook for two". And uncalled suggestions like "if you wake up early... ". Well have you thought for a second that maybe I dont want to wake up early? There is absolutely nothing wrong in either taking or hiring help. And no one, I repeat no one has the right to shame anyone for doing so.

There are still a lot of things and works that have a gender stereotype attached to it. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids is primarily the job of women. And if by any chance a man does invest or help - the woman is considered to be very "lucky". It has become my goal to shatter these gender based stereotypes. And also to NOT be the super woman. Nope. I don't aspire to be a overworked super women.  I'd rather be lazy and happy than be patted on my back and stressful. 

Ladies, please get your men into the kitchen and beyond.  Divide your responsibilities.  Create a chart, a schedule do what ever it takes. Create a good example for your kids. And whatever you do, please don't ask your daughters to get water for her brother. And eat the damn food with the guests, we really need to abolish the women-will-eat-later rule.

Love:

The un - superwomen

Sepo

Gilmore Girls

Have you ever lived in a small town? Somewhere where everyone knows everybody else. There is a lot of gossip and affection. There are different characters, some serious, some funny, some friendly and some irritating. But the presense of each one of them is what makes the whole small town thing cute. There are specific shop where you buy your stationary, your grocery, your cake and your cup of coffee. Now imagine a series centered around this small town with all these eccentric characters and an interesting story line - which takes you for a joyful ride for seven seasons and approximately 150 episodes. Thats Gilmore Girls in a nutshell for you!

Gilmore girls is essentially a story about mother daughter relationship, both named Lorelai, both fun, both coffee horders and junk food connoisseurs. A young mother, the elder Lorelai has a strained relationship with her own parents but must take their help for her brilliant daughter who aspires to be in an ivy league college. This sets up the theme of the series but trust me it has much more to offer. Interesting storylines, cool friends, emotional moments, the love lives of the girls and a very interesting insight into the American education system.

The younger Lorelia is into reading and you will get a lot of must read books from almost each episode. Plus the girls have a friday night movie marathon ritual with a lot of junk food ( well, obviously) which again will introduce you to a lot of classic hits. Almost every episode has a popular movie references which make it all the more interesting. A lot of music as well for all you pop music fanatics. And, a lot of learn in the food department as well - apart from the regular American pop tarts, cheeseburgers, pretzels, tarts and burritos, there are so many other interesting references. Sookie, who is elder Lorelie's best friend and an accomplished chef will have you drooling over her exotic food in many a scenes. I learned many new vegetables and dishes from this series. Namely, Artichoke, Sweetbread (don't google this! )

The series premeired in 2000, so you may find references to a lot of things we no longer use. A pager for example, or how marvelous is online shopping thought to be. But it just adds more vintage charm to the series. I recently started to re-watch Gilmore Girls to escape from all the negative news related to corona, and I must say it does not disappoint! I am enjoying it as much as I did when I saw it for  the first time. Ofcourse, it comes with its flaws - some story lines seem deliberate and unnecessary.  But overall it is an absolute entertainment package.

The series is bound to make you hungry, make sure to keep a big bag to chips right next to you when you start watching Gilmore Girls. And a cup of coffee. Maybe order a pizza while you are at it. Oh and some candy. Some chinese food couldn't hurt either. Umm some doughnuts. You see what the series does to you? Go start watching already!

Stay safe!

Love:

Sepo

The Blame Game

As is with everything else in this country, the current crisis too has been oscillating into the very common playground of politics and blame games. How each section of various groups is using tragedy of common people to build a vendetta, settle scores and pave a way for their future alliances and benefits. It’s the Kumbh mela Vs the last year Tablighi jammat. People are comparing numbers and deaths to prove which one was deadlier. Its political rallies. One party condemns it but that doesn’t stop them from having one of their own the very next day. There is oxygen shortage in hospitals but somehow at the same time there are also free oxygen langers. People are hoarding medicines and life savings drugs and selling them to the highest bidders! Not only this ambulances are charging anywhere between 10k to 50k for distances less than 10km. Crematoriums not to be left behind are also using this opportunity to earn some extra bucks.Talk about making money at the expense of someone’s life. Even things like thermometers are being sold at double their price. I have first-hand experience to this. My thermometer broke and when I called the local pharmacy, he started by saying he had none, gauzing my need and desperation. Towards the very end of the conversation he very casually mentioned that he may have a one but that would cost double the amount. I just did not know what to say. I kept thinking about how if a simple thermometer was open to such bidding, how difficult would it be for the Remidesivir’s and how actually were poor people helpless against this open robbery.

A lot of people and countries have been donating, but have people for a second thought about whether their well-intended gestures are bearing any fruit?

The big private hospitals I hear are hoarding beds and “discharging” patients only when they get a big amount from the rich. Everyone is questioning how government has let them down, no one questions are state leaders or for that matter the people. People are still fighting with each other on how the government they support is wrong. I was apalled at some comments directed at the death news of a journalist who was apparently from a pro government news chanel. The comments were on a picture of him, with his 2 little daughters and people were actually celebrating his death, calling him and his family names. At this time when the country is burning, people are dying - the hatred in the comments literally took my breath away.

People have conveniently forgotten about how they openly flouted all rules, refused to wear masks, had one big party after the other, weddings with no proper SOP followed. I have actually witnessed people laughing and saying how paranoid we are for simply masking or asking to wear a mask or for sanitizing. 

What we don’t understand even after this shit has blown out of proportion is that we ain’t anything. A miniscule virus has shown as that. Plan all you want, do whatever you can but everything can come to a standstill. All your carefully curated plans, all your expensive clothes and shoes, nothing matters. Just stay humble. Stop fighting over petty politics and over Politian’s. All of them are the same. Take care and help each other. Stop believing everything you read or listen in the news. Whether its from a pro government channel or otherwise. Don’t let powerful people sitting at powerful positions sway your opinions. Let humanity be above all.

Double mask up!

Stay safe.

Love:

Sepo

Staying Sane In The Times Of Corona

Last year around this time, newly into the changed world of lockdowns - fueled by the dalgona coffees and all the baking/cooking, I had started to write about things this virus and the subsequent lockdowns taught us. 

Me back then, baking cakes & breads at the drop of a hat!

It was a very positive post about how little we need to survive. And how we are destroying the nature and environment around us by increasing the carbon footprint. To add more on to the topic, I decided to wait a little longer as I was pretty sure - there would be more learnings and experiences to share. Somewhere down the year, the write up got lost amongst the huge list of drafts sitting in my laptops/ phone/ dairy/ back of the shopping list.

Exactly one year later - we have somehow found ourselves in a situation quite similar if not worse. But this time around the virus has wiped out every ounce of positivity from me. The news, social media, general conversations just about everything is centered around the virus. And with that comes the sheer helplessness that surrounds each of these news pieces. The line of ambulances, the lack of beds, oxygen and medicines in hospitals, about how people are not even able to bid a proper farewell to their loved ones. All this has just drained out the living hell out of me.

Plus I am sure now everyone has encountered this virus from pretty close quarters with atleast someone in the family, amongst relatives or friends or colleagues having tryst with this shit of a disease. Of late I have heard about so many sudden deaths from friends and family. And now with the new development of it being airborne the panic and scare around it has multipied.

Personally, all this negative news from everywhere is just making me anxious. Away from parents and loved ones, cooped up inside, same sort of routine everyday. I am sure everyone must be feeling quite blue. Although I am not really an outdoorsy adventurous type who is out partying or going on vacations. Even without covid I am mostly happy being home with a nice book and a strong cuppa coffee. But being taken away of even the option of going out is I guess what is making me restless, sleepless and panicky. Our residencial block is a containment zone with covid patients left, right and center. Since we have been advised to avoid the lifts - It has been weeks since I have even stepped outside the main door. 

Reading is helpful. Getting transported in the story in unfamiliar locale is helping even if temporarily. My bed has become my favorite place to be. And my shitty shit pcos has made my anxiety and mood swings worse than ever. And also my acne.

Now in order to stay sane, I am doing everything thats making me happy. Planting a new plant, applying nail paint, eating a whole pizza all by myself, staying the fuck away from news and social media, reading a lot of books, spending my time scrolling through good reads, waiting patiently for juicy ripe mangoes, following a skincare routine, avoiding these new shitty movies and series - this one story in a latest movie which I made mistake of watching had a scene of putting a baby in a pressure cooker!

These are not normal times. You see even the most strong people buckling under pressure. Depression and anxiety is at all time peak. We recently had someone committing suicide in our team. A perfectly happy jovial person with a toddler. And I guess thats when i realized how we hardly know what goes on in a person's mind and life. We choose to judge and comment on people. We formulate a image of people based on what they share on social media. But reality is different. A person may share a picture of cake they baked, but may feel hollow inside. 

Lets stop being judgement. Everyone has their own battles. Lets help in whatever capacity we can. Help your domestic helps. Pay even if you are not calling them to work. 

Meanwhile I read this article about things that ease out anxiety - it suggested re reading and re watching helps ease out anxiety as you already know the outcomes. So no more of these Ajeeb Dastans for me. I am gonna be watching re runs of .... No not FRIENDS, Gilmore Girls :) 

Coffee, books and some sass. That's exactly what I need right now.

One last thing! Mellisa MacCarthy  in Gilmore Girls was so much cuter with all that extra weight... one more reason to not buckle under the pressure of conformimg to society's idea of beauty and ideal size. 

Phew.

Stay happy and Stay home y'all 

And get vaccinated whenever you can!

Love:

Sepo

The Unfulfilled Resolutions

I had a teeny tiny resolution for last year. To keep this blog updated,  one post per month. Despite the shit storm that the last year was, I managed to keep up with this resolution right until the end. But I faltered toward the very end - the December month post got missed and messed up. And I got so  disappointed that it took me almost 2 months to start writing again.

So, the thing is that I actually had everything planned out for the last post of the year. It was a topic very close to me and since it was a  flash back post - I had all the artifacts keep ready and a draft all set in my phone for a long night of editing. But then I lost my phone. And before you ask no I did not take the backup.

Since I am a procrastinator, all this prep was obviously towards the very end of the month. Next 2,3 days were spend in crying over the lost phone, FIRs, duplicate sim quest and search for a new phone. By this time I was totally drained out of any creative energy and with the draft and artifacts all lost I would have to recreate everything from the scratch.  But for the sake of my resolution, I still planned to write atleast a little something to kind of conclude the year. 

Cut to the last night of the year,  I am working, ah yes and watching Rockstar and planning to write a quick post right after I finish my office work. But just like it was 12 and I was still knee deep in my office work. And the window for my last post of the year was gone, and with it my resolution. In hindsite it was probably not right to spend last night and first few hours of a new year doing office work, coz ever since I have just been working non-stop. Anyhow other than not writing I have spend most of the new year working like a robot, stealing in some time for book reading, a little bit of netflix, zero exercise with has resulted in couple of extra killos straight to my tummy and a lot of pimples.

Now last year is gone and have already lost 2 months for the 1 post per month resolution to be successful.  So we will come up with an improvised resolution for writing whatever and whenever irrespective of whether it makes sense or not. 

The blog for the longest time has been my personal space to vent but as I have started to share it with more people,  I feel like I have lost the freedom to say and write what actually is on my mind. I already have a very people pleasing, non confrontational personality, my writing and this blog was specifically to let me vent out, share what's actually happening inside my brain while I just smile and nod my head.

This year it will be more on speaking err writing fearlessly.

Cheers to that!

Stay safe and wear a mask.

Love:

Sepo

Throwback Post - For the Love of Red

This post was first published on the blog sometime in 2011 or maybe 2012. I had recently been bitten by the fashion blogger bug, and spent a lot of my energy in designing various looks around a single piece of clothing. At this point of time my blogging and blog were quite a hush hush affair, with only my closest friends knowing of its existence. As luck would have it, my tryst with fashion blogging somehow coincided with my darling sister somehow stumbling upon my blog. Fiery phone calls followed and I was strictly told to take down a number of posts and also the blog. Though I put my foot down for the blog I did take down the so called fashion posts. I wasn't too happy with the meddling back then, but in retrospect I am quite glad it happened. In my sister's defence the post she first saw was "5 ways to style a boyfriend (oversized) shirt" and most of the looks consisted of ahem just the shirt and a belt.

Anyhow, now that throwbacks are such a thing with pictures I thought why not do a throwback post. I had hard deleted the other ones but I couldnt for some reason delete this particular one where I styled my red pants multiple ways. So enjoy my old narratives and mediocre pictures.

Here goes:

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Red they say is the color of power but for me it is a color that shouts out FUN! I remember the day I bought myself the Red Pants. We were out shopping for a friend and I spotted them staring at me from a basket. They were on SALE in Westside and the price at which they were available was totally unbelievable. So I took a chance and tried them on, it was that OMG moment when you realize that finally these pants fit and how! They were perfect in every way - price, style, size so there was no reason for not buying them. So I took another chance and bought the Red Pants.

They sat in my cupboard for a considerable period of time but the moment I wore them for the first time, there was no looking back. I fell in love with them and the addiction is such that every time I go off to shopping I make sure that all the Tees that I buy match with my Red Pants. So all the latest shopping material is Red Pant compatible. My love for this look with Red Pant is so dire that I decided to dedicate a post to it. I guess this would be my first post in the genre of Fashion Blogging!

I apologize in advance for the image quality, yes it is that bad ....

This pic is special because it is from the first time I ever wore the Pants.

This is with black with the famous matching of Belt and shoes.

Isn't it adorable the way my pants and couch match!

This is the same white and red combination worn with different shoes and hair !

This is my favorite look, as it contains two of my current favorite things: the pants and the bag. Isn't it an absolute arm/eye candy?

            

Well, that's all I have for now. But I can assure that there is more to come!

Would appreciate more ideas from your side as well :)

Love:

Sepo