Friday, November 25, 2016

Kashmir - From My Perspective

"Isn’t that a terrorist place?"
That’s usually the first sentence people utter when they hear I am from Jammu & Kashmir. And with the recent events that happened in the valley the amount of curiosity and questions increased by manifolds. Needless to say, the upfront support of a terrorist with such grandeur shocked people. Now in general very few people in India are acquainted or interested in what actually is the issue in Kashmir. Most of them have a haphazard view of the situation, typically from what they gauge through tit-bits of news. The news channels broadcast their breaking news on how people are turning in throngs for the funeral of a terrorist, how they are defying curfews to step out and protest for “Azadi”.

Since most people conceive Jammu and Kashmir as one entity, they automatically assume that my hometown is in dire consequences. I then have to give them a quick lesson in geography and explain that Jammu and Kashmir are situated at least 320 Km apart from each other. Kashmir has Muslims living in majority while Jammu is mostly inhabited by Hindus. They also doubtfully ask me whether I too support terrorists or have a soft spot for Pakistan. It is these type of questions that literally drive me mad with rage. My people and my community have suffered and are still suffering the brunt of the militancy that seems to have been made a law in Kashmir. And even a small doubt of being a perpetrator of this bullshit when actually we are the victims seems like a very unfair assumption to me.

I try my best to explain people that how in late eighties and early nighties there was a genocide like situation in Kashmir. During this time many Hindu’s were killed, raped and threatened. Thousands of Kashmiri Hindu families fled from Kashmir leaving behind their homes, jobs, farms, memories and numerous other little things. People have already lost interest by the time I reach to this point. But I get satisfied assuming that at least I have formulated a difference between Kashmiri Muslims and Kashmiri Hindus in their minds

The state of Jammu and Kashmir constitutes of Jammu, Kashmir, Ladakh and several other small districts. The “azadi “propaganda that is in full swing is only concerted in Kashmir. The people of Jammu, Ladakh and other small places like Udhampur, Kishtawar, kathua etc are happy and proud to be associated with India. The hatred people of Kashmir carry for India and Indians has baffled me always. And it has not started in recent times. Contrary to what people believe or might force you to believe this has always been the case. Even before 90s, even before army (who supposedly commits atrocities on the people there) ever entered Kashmir. Though I have literally grown up hearing stories about prejudice against Hindu’s by elders, what solidified my belief was an interview I read of Mr. Salman Rushdie. In the interview Salman talks about the time his family visited Kashmir when he was 12, roughly around 1959-1960. Assumed to be a Hindu family they were denied food by the locals, but after getting to know that they are in fact Muslims they were attended with utmost hospitality. The entire interview can be found here.

What’s changed now is the fact that initially it was all a very hushed up affair and discussed only behind closed doors. But now it’s all in the open or rather on the internet. India and Indians are openly bad mouthed and blatant support and love for Pakistan is shown on Instagram and Facebook. I sometimes wonder will all Kashmiri Muslims holding important positions in India, students, business men (holding shops of Kashmiri handicrafts all across India) agree to leave India and settle in Pakistan instead, if they achieve their so called goal of attaining “azadi
.


Picture Courtesy - DNA

What baffles me is that all the separatist leaders hardly give two hoots about things like safety of people – they urge them to protest and throw stones at security officials even when curfew has been imposed. So that they can later make an issue of usage of pellet guns by security officials. They give orders for strikes and bandhs without considering the consequences of the same. They encourage students to pick up arms instead of books. And that is where the main issue of unrest in Kashmir lies – uneducated and unemployed youth. Those who studied did so mostly outside Kashmir (ironically in parts of India, from they want freedom from!) many work across India and abroad, away from all the tension and chaos focusing on their futures and success. But the youth left behind is the one suffering and failing to understand that throwing stones, shouting slogans, holding guns and even achieving the so called “azadi” is not going to help them. Schools and colleges remain closed, many have been burned down! But instead of encouraging children to study people there are using them to fuel the agitations. Here if I may quote an example of Kashmiri Pandits who had to shift base to camps after exodus in 90s. The first and the foremost thing every family however poor at that time did was to arrange and look for schools and colleges so that education of their children does not suffer. It is this crucial step that has helped them to find a strong foothold and rise again against all the odds.

Picture Courtesy - http://isssp.in/return-of-kashmiri-pandits-promises-and-uncertainties/

I fail to understand the extent of brain-wash the people have been subjected to. How can they not see that violence and stone throwing is not doing any one any good. I remember watching an interview few days back when stone pelters were out on the streets. A kid hardly 14 or 15 was being asked by reporters on whether he wants an independent state or wants to go with Pakistan. He looked clueless and simply said “wo sab toh nhi pta, hume bola gya hai ki patthar maarne se azaadi mil jayegi”, “I don’t know all that, I have been told that by throwing stone I will get freedom”. Most of the common people there have no idea about the political aspects of the violence. They want to lead a peaceful life.

The state of Kashmir is going from bad to worse. There is no tourism whatsoever, people just don’t want to take a risk of visiting Kashmir given the unpredictable situation there. This has badly hit the people whose livelihood directly depends on the tourist flow in the valley. Houseboats, gardens, shikara’s, souvenir shops all remain deserted. Schools and colleges continue to remain closed for 3 days out of 5. Future of people especially students continues to remain bleak. The current situation however seems to approach a state of normality. Many people are attributing it to the recent demonetization move by our PM. In the dearth of 500/1000 notes, the funding for keeping up the violence alive and stone pelters on the road is proving difficult for the anti-social elements.

Here’s hoping for a better future and a concrete solution for Kashmir. The beautiful valley has suffered a lot. It’s overwhelming beauty needs to be devoured and enjoyed.


Love:
Sepo!

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

They Shoot Single People, Don't They?




Have you ever noticed that the world we live-in was designed to be enjoyed in pairs? There are very few places where one would feel at ease with one’s own company. At the movies we have all sorts of combo offers but none for the poor single visitor. Dinning out with yourself or meal for one options are unheard of, except maybe for a few places we can count on our fingers. No fancy restaurant will ever server you half butter chilli noodles or half murg malai tikka. So you just cannot enjoy a proper 3 course meal all by yourself, unless of course you aspire to be a sumo wrestler.

What hurts more than absence of such places is the behavior a single person is subjected to, dare he/she venture out alone. The only way is it somewhat acceptable to be seen alone is if you are busy on a laptop or your smartphone or maybe busy reading something. That gives an illusion of you waiting for someone or leading such a busy life that you have to come alone for a quick bite. But god forbid if you are seen without any of the above mentioned props. Then the askance glances and pitiful looks you get will be unbearable.

Spotting a girl alone is a bigger risk because all the guys and uncles will automatically assume that she is 'asking for it'. They will leave no stone unturned to make her uncomfortable by approaching her to 'fill up' her loneliness. What people don’t get is that not everyone shopping, eating or watching a movie alone is a pariah. Sometimes it is circumstantial and other times purely by choice.
Once you grow up it is not always easy to find yourself in company of people who would love to accompany you to every mundane task you need to accomplish. Similarly at times you would rather be with yourself than be at the whims and fancies of others. Like when I go shopping I survey the options before shelling out money. I go from shop to shop and sometimes end up going to the first shop I entered. Successful implementation of this formula mandates that I have an understanding partner. But let’s be honest this is not everyone’s cup of tea. Most of the people just like to get in and get out while shopping. So, in order to not invite the wrath of an individual and put up with tantrums I prefer shopping alone. And when I get hungry I stop by to enjoy a meal solo. I also go to movies alone because not all people I hang out with share my taste for movies. SO what? Big Deal! 

Being alone, spending time with yourself teaches you so many things. It teaches you to be self-sufficient. To engage your energy with fruitful and creative ventures. It teaches you to observe, observe everything around you - people, nature, little children, cracks in the ceilings, dust on the walls, spider working on its web…. It also makes you appreciate company of people and the fact that nothing and no one should be taken for granted. Having little to no contact with the girls staying in my PG has taught me to be more considerate and attentive towards our bai. It is her I am totally dependent on in the mornings while getting ready. I bombard her with questions asking her opinion about my look of the day. And man is she critical or what! She gives me helpful advice like "keep the dupatta only on one side", "add a bindi" or "that belt is not matching" and once "hair is looking too oily". She maybe not have access to the latest issue of cosmo but for me she is a valuable fashion advisor. Under normal circumstances I would have laughed at the idea of a bai giving me fashion advice but now I have learned my lesson.

Agreed its great being in relationship or having a great bunch of friends to hang out and have fun with. But having experienced both I can tell you that being alone does not have to be a sad or a contemptable experience. Sometimes it is with yourself you can have the maximum fun. Cheers!

Love Sepo

Sunday, February 14, 2016

~The Night it was~

There were a lot of words unsaid, yet the silence was filling the unsaid words. The moonlight, the breeze and the light drizzle made the few moments of togetherness all the more special. The time to say goodbye was nearing but they refused to acknowledge it. Holding hands tightly they braced together the impending separation.

They were never supposed to become lovers. Even now they refrained from calling each other that. There was no exchange of the magical three words between them. Yet here they were looking into each other’s eyes and finding nothing but longing and love. While holding each other’s hand they went through details of the past which had brought them from acquaintances to probable soul mates.

Like they say in movies – Sometimes just one meeting is enough and sometimes many meetings are necessary to reach to a stage of trust. This is where they were right now. The ride along had been a rosy one but the way ahead was not easy. But when is the heart deterred by logic and social norm? Their hearts were on a different pace, trying to tune in with each other.

They made inevitable promises and hoped against the hope. Braving the distance and difficulties. Young love is like that, full of confidence and positivity. They felt lucky to be together even if only for few moments. It would be months or perhaps years before they would meet again. So they made the most of the moment. Gazing at each other, memorizing every line, every freckle. Unaware of the world going by, people passing by, the little drizzle slowly drenching them.

The time to part was nearing, tears that had been controlled for so long were threatening to overpower. One last time they thought! And held each other in a tight hug. Reluctant to part, their lips touched ever to slightly and kindled something deep in their hearts. They found each other lips again this time not just for a brush. And thats what came to be known as their First Kiss

“.It wasn't that long, and it certainly wasn't the kind of kiss you see in movies these days, but it was wonderful in its own way, and all I can remember about the moment is that when our lips touched, I knew the memory would last forever
Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember

Happy Valentines' Day, Everyone!

Love:
Sepo 

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Adieu Dear Friend….



We all are so busy in our mundane lives that we seldom stop from the crazy schedules to look around. Say hello to an old friend or just look around for someone in pain. We feel what we do in our life, our problems and silly apprehensions are all that is to life. But it isn’t.

Many a times we are jolted into reality by means of a heart-breaking and awakening news. I was on the receiving end of such a news recently. I was told a devastating news of one of my closest friend from college, who was more of a brother than a friend. He met with a tragic accident and left us. Just like that… so sudden. All of us were in a state of shock. What his parents might me going through is totally unimaginable and painful.

I have never known some so full of life and a heart so clear and big. He loved all his friends to the core and always went out of his way to help. I tied Rakhi to him on Raksha Bandhan and even with the distance between us, every Rakhsha Bandhan he called me early morning to wish without fail.
Dear Brother…. How I wish I talked to you more often, let you know how much you mean, how good a human you are and always will be in our hearts. How I love the child in you. How it made me smile when you called me Marathan. How it angered me when you commented “kadu” on my pictures. How happy I felt when you beat a guy black and blue because he misbehaved. 

You did so much for everybody. You fit the description of the term – heart with gold! You deserved a wonderful life brother, surrounded by your loved ones and well-wishers. But sadly you were taken away from us. All I can say is Rest In Peace… You will always be remembered fondly..

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Happy 6th Birthday Rendezvous!



I have always been someone who gets bored very easily. Especially things started at the spur of the moment, like this blog. The time I started it, I would never have imagined that I will continue to update it for 6 long years. A lot has happened since, but thankfully the love for writing remains and hopefully shall continue to remain so in the years to come.

Before starting the blog, I never knew I could write. One would imagine that I might also have participated in some school or college level competitions. But no, I have never participated in anything remotely related to writing. So the fact that even after being such an amateur I still write is pretty surprising. Its only before of my readers love and appreciation. Had it not been that I would have stopped long back.

So on this 6th annivarsay for sorts, please accept a heartfelt thankyou! To everyone reading this post. You are the inspiration behind each of my write-ups.
Lots of Love

Merry Christmas and a very Happy and Prosperous New Year greetings from Rendezvous.!

SEPO

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Analysis of the Movie-goers

For an average Indian, the recreation mode still consists of catching up on a movie starring your favorite stars with a big box of popcorn and cold drinks. Long before brunching and clubbing became popular, movies were the ultimate mode of entertainment. And it still continues to be so for the average middle class people. While going to the movies is a good enjoyable and relaxing program, some people you meet dead against making it a pleasing experience for you. They will do everything in their power to destroy this otherwise pleasant experience for you. And here’s a small list of how they do it:

1. While in a queue for tickets some people will literally ride up on your back like Betaal from Vikram aur Betaal. You move one inch and they will literally hog so as to ensure there is no breathing space between you two.

2. Some people don't wait until interval for the popcorn, they get it right in the start. Enter late in the hall, squash your feet while in the process to search for their seats and also sprinkle some popcorn and drops of cold-drink on you. And may I add ‘sorry’ is a word they seldom use.

3. Then come the people who fail to understand the concept of shortest path. If their seats are on one corner, they will forgo the shortest path and take the longest part, meanwhile squashing foots and manhandling the chairs and the people sitting on it. And mind you, no excuse me’s or sorry’s whatsoever!

4. Some people get way too comfortable on their seats and try to put their legs on the hand rest of the seat below. Unwashed socks never helped anyone. Especially in a closed air conditioned space.

5. Don't get me started on how annoying it is when you are just sitting in your seat, all relaxed and engrossed in the movie when out of the blue the person behind kicks your chair supposedly to adjust their legs. Don’t waste your time staring at them because you ain't gonna get any apologies.

6. The scenario of disturbance won’t be just from behind. There will be people sitting next to you and in front of you with their cellphones (busy with checking-in on Facebook), the brightness of which is blinding to the eyes accustomed to darkness in the hall.

7. Then amidst a serious scene someone's phone will ring with the loudest possible ringtone and they will match it with an even louder voice while answering. Because who keeps their phone on silent, right?

8. There are people who get toddlers to watch movies that are highly inappropriate for them. I have seen people bring kids to movies like hangover.

9. When you do the above mentioned, the kid will obviously get bored and start screaming or throwing tantrums hence disturbing the totally innocent audience.

10. And finally we have the couple who just booked the tickets so as they can make-out and create confusion in the minds of people surrounding them. People have a hard time deciding as to whether watch the movie or them!

LOVE:
SEPO

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Intolerance Any One?


With the entire country going gaga over the statement made by Aamir, the last thing we need is another write-up about how Aamir is a jerk. Don't worry I am not going to talk about Aamir and Kiran here. I am here to share few instances with you and let you make some decisions based on them.

Just yesterday me and 2 of my friends went over to have some chaat in front of our office. Waiting patiently for our Chinese bhel out of nowhere a beggar kind of a mad man came abusing and blabbering while continuously staring at us. He kept doing this for almost like 5 minutes and suddenly angered by the smiling face of one of my friends, he shouted "Hass mat, honth kat dunga tere" (Don't laugh or I'll cut off your lips). In no mood to laugh now, the three of us were shell shocked and pretty scared. Suddenly he started to spit towards us and unable to take it anymore, I shouted at the top of my voice. Three of us ran hither and thither away from the mad man. Here i may point out that, near the Chaat wala, few guys from my company were also standing. And it being broad daylight and a place right in front of an IT giant, it was heavily crowded. Yet we three girls felt tormented and helpless. No one offered any sort of help, or shooed away the man. People did not even turn their faces or stop doing their chores. The chaat bhaiya finally attempted to scare him away ONLY when he started to come dangerously close to his stall. He only went away before any turning around towards us and abusing us to his heart's content.

Picture Courtesy - sploid.gizmodo.com

 Now I really don't want to sound like a whiny girl wanting people to rescue her. But don't you think under such circumstances at least someone from the crowd should have stood up? It that asking too much? At least those guys from my company, they could see the company tags around our neck..But no, they did not even bat an eyelash during the entire scene. This is really a scary scenario - people not standing up for each other. And it was not the first time I got to witness it. I had a somewhat similar incident some years back.

I was traveling in a shared auto rickshaw and a middle aged man was trying to be over-smart. His elbows kept poking me at all inappropriate places. First few times I thought it to be an accident (although I knew it wasn't) but when that jerk did not stop I decided to teach him a lesson. Little did I know that it would be me and not him learning all the lessons. The moment I confronted him he started shouting that all my accusations were false and that he was innocent. None of the 3 other people in the rickshaw spoke a word. Feeling that I was loosing the battle, I forced the rickshaw guy to pull off and demanded that I will not travel with that guy by my side. At this point I thought that the guy will get down or be forced to get down the rickshaw. But to my horror again no one said a word. And since I had proclaimed that I will not travel with the man and he refused to move, I was left with no other option but to move out myself and continue my journey to office by foot. I was so shattered to think that without any mistake of mine, I have to face the abuse - both from that man and everyone else in that rickshaw. That man got to sit and ride in the rickshaw while I had to walk in the scalding sun. How is it justice?

Now tell me, is the place we live in tolerant? Are we really tolerant? Do we need to change our outlook first and then throw dirt at Aamir and other?

Everything said, even after facing many issues and disappointments in this country, the thought of leaving this country never entered my mind.

LOVE:
SEPO