The Unfulfilled Resolutions

I had a teeny tiny resolution for last year. To keep this blog updated,  one post per month. Despite the shit storm that the last year was, I managed to keep up with this resolution right until the end. But I faltered toward the very end - the December month post got missed and messed up. And I got so  disappointed that it took me almost 2 months to start writing again.

So, the thing is that I actually had everything planned out for the last post of the year. It was a topic very close to me and since it was a  flash back post - I had all the artifacts keep ready and a draft all set in my phone for a long night of editing. But then I lost my phone. And before you ask no I did not take the backup.

Since I am a procrastinator, all this prep was obviously towards the very end of the month. Next 2,3 days were spend in crying over the lost phone, FIRs, duplicate sim quest and search for a new phone. By this time I was totally drained out of any creative energy and with the draft and artifacts all lost I would have to recreate everything from the scratch.  But for the sake of my resolution, I still planned to write atleast a little something to kind of conclude the year. 

Cut to the last night of the year,  I am working, ah yes and watching Rockstar and planning to write a quick post right after I finish my office work. But just like it was 12 and I was still knee deep in my office work. And the window for my last post of the year was gone, and with it my resolution. In hindsite it was probably not right to spend last night and first few hours of a new year doing office work, coz ever since I have just been working non-stop. Anyhow other than not writing I have spend most of the new year working like a robot, stealing in some time for book reading, a little bit of netflix, zero exercise with has resulted in couple of extra killos straight to my tummy and a lot of pimples.

Now last year is gone and have already lost 2 months for the 1 post per month resolution to be successful.  So we will come up with an improvised resolution for writing whatever and whenever irrespective of whether it makes sense or not. 

The blog for the longest time has been my personal space to vent but as I have started to share it with more people,  I feel like I have lost the freedom to say and write what actually is on my mind. I already have a very people pleasing, non confrontational personality, my writing and this blog was specifically to let me vent out, share what's actually happening inside my brain while I just smile and nod my head.

This year it will be more on speaking err writing fearlessly.

Cheers to that!

Stay safe and wear a mask.

Love:

Sepo

Throwback Post - For the Love of Red

This post was first published on the blog sometime in 2011 or maybe 2012. I had recently been bitten by the fashion blogger bug, and spent a lot of my energy in designing various looks around a single piece of clothing. At this point of time my blogging and blog were quite a hush hush affair, with only my closest friends knowing of its existence. As luck would have it, my tryst with fashion blogging somehow coincided with my darling sister somehow stumbling upon my blog. Fiery phone calls followed and I was strictly told to take down a number of posts and also the blog. Though I put my foot down for the blog I did take down the so called fashion posts. I wasn't too happy with the meddling back then, but in retrospect I am quite glad it happened. In my sister's defence the post she first saw was "5 ways to style a boyfriend (oversized) shirt" and most of the looks consisted of ahem just the shirt and a belt.

Anyhow, now that throwbacks are such a thing with pictures I thought why not do a throwback post. I had hard deleted the other ones but I couldnt for some reason delete this particular one where I styled my red pants multiple ways. So enjoy my old narratives and mediocre pictures.

Here goes:

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Red they say is the color of power but for me it is a color that shouts out FUN! I remember the day I bought myself the Red Pants. We were out shopping for a friend and I spotted them staring at me from a basket. They were on SALE in Westside and the price at which they were available was totally unbelievable. So I took a chance and tried them on, it was that OMG moment when you realize that finally these pants fit and how! They were perfect in every way - price, style, size so there was no reason for not buying them. So I took another chance and bought the Red Pants.

They sat in my cupboard for a considerable period of time but the moment I wore them for the first time, there was no looking back. I fell in love with them and the addiction is such that every time I go off to shopping I make sure that all the Tees that I buy match with my Red Pants. So all the latest shopping material is Red Pant compatible. My love for this look with Red Pant is so dire that I decided to dedicate a post to it. I guess this would be my first post in the genre of Fashion Blogging!

I apologize in advance for the image quality, yes it is that bad ....

This pic is special because it is from the first time I ever wore the Pants.

This is with black with the famous matching of Belt and shoes.

Isn't it adorable the way my pants and couch match!

This is the same white and red combination worn with different shoes and hair !

This is my favorite look, as it contains two of my current favorite things: the pants and the bag. Isn't it an absolute arm/eye candy?

            

Well, that's all I have for now. But I can assure that there is more to come!

Would appreciate more ideas from your side as well :)

Love:

Sepo

October 2020

While this entire year has been a blur, the month of October for some reason was exceptionally quite small. Like one moment, I was here planning winter feasts, writting about something nice for the blog. And the very next moment I take a look at the calender and somehow it's October 31st. I was on the verge of loosing my only resolution this year - the one of writing 12 posts, one for each month. 

Somehow I have managed to keep up with the challenge, with a couple of good posts and some mediocre ones. I kept the blog alive.

I had planned a lot of stuff and ideas. However nothing concrete came out of it. And this month was like crazy busy with work. I am almost clocking in 13- 14 hours every day. My entire schedule has been royally fucked. I am hardly getting any exercise, which is like really bad for my hormonal health. I am hardly making any tasty food. Hell, I am hardly finding time to eat and there's hardly any scope of inspiration in this routine whatsoever for writing. The reading has hitten a slow-down as well. I managed to read through only a couple of pages before dozing off. Hopefully next month should be better. And with so many festivals coming up, it better be!

October is really one of my favorite months, right after the birthday month of February. There is so much anticipation surrounding this month. So many festivals. More often than not there is also always some or the other wedding surrounding this time. Starting with navratri, then Dusshera, closely followed by karvachauth and then finally diwali and bhaidooj-0. I love how the markets are bustling during this time. The lights, exhibitions and that lovely nip in the year. It just smells so delicious.

This year ofcourse is like no other. All the above mentioned activities have either not been done or done with not the usual flare. I missed dressing up in colours for Navratri the most. And the big dandiya nights. Hopefully upcoming festivals though spent safely from home should be a bit better and exciting nontheless.

There is also a very disheartening news of some third wave of corona virus. Don't know when this shit will be over and thinks will be back to normals. However everything said and done, this time period from March to now has definitely taught many lessons. By the way writing about lessons learned from corona and quarantine was also one of the topic I has decided on to write for the blog! But then since it's just not ending, I am not really sure how many more lessons are there in store.

So maybe sometime next month or year! Gosh can you believe it's almost 2021. Sometimes I still feel it's March, the normal times right after which the world as we knew it changed, and how!

Here's hoping for things to get normal and soon.

Till then,

Stay home and safe guys!

Love:

Sepo

The Social Media Detox

September was a quest to stay away from the social media. To say I am addicted to my phone would be an understatement. What I have with my phone is something beyond addiction. This inexplicable need to touch and open my phone at regular intervals and just mindlessly browse through these different social media applications. Sometimes catch an episode of two of the current series that I follow. If you may ask, these days its the re-runs of The Big Bang Theory and Rotten on Netflix. I am really happy that my education was during a period when we were still kind of untouched with the plethora of these distracting mediums available now. However, during my college days – the Facebook craze was at its peak! So, I dutifully deactivated my Facebook 1 week prior to my semester exams and activated it right after coming back from writing my last exam. This sort of self-discipline worked very well for me back then.  

All those working in IT sector would agree that studying and elevating your skills here is a never-ending exercise. Now after cooking, baking, embroidery, other hidden hobbies and all the other quarantine mandate things – it was time for learning some new things in the professional capacity. When I sat down to prepare a plan – I realized that the only way I can manage to fit in sometime for studies is if my some magic I am able to increase the duration of a day from 24 hours to say 26 or 28. Considering the impracticality of that idea I quickly took a dive into the activities of the day and identify the leakages – majority of which where identified to be associated with the phone and the universe of social media it beholds. I hastily decided to do what I did back in college. I deactivated my Facebook and uninstalled Instagram and Pinterest – the major applications I spent my time on according to the statistics on my phone.

The withdrawal symptoms kicked in as soon as I uninstalled the apps. I lost the count of how many times I switched on my phone and scrolled towards the place where Instagram and Pinterest used to be. I had given myself at least 1 week of no FB, Insta time. The first few days were hard. I remember clicking pictures of the food I was having and saving them for later use. But after few days the exercise seemed futile and honestly a bit silly. I mean I heard a voice inside me which said “Bro, just eat the damn thing, no one cares about your picture”. Haha. So, during the one week I did manage to study a bit – which made the exercise a little bit successfully. I also devoured Anne Patchett’s The Dutch House, William Dalrymple’s City of Djinns which made me fall a wee bit love with Delhi (but more on that in one of the next 3 posts remaining for this year). I also started and still reading Chimamanda Adichie’s Half of a Yellow Sun. This woman is fast becoming one of my most favorite authors. Someone who's books I can blindly order without having to read the jest or the reviews. Although I do find her leading ladies a bit flawed and ridiculously similar, but I am ready to overlook that for the other little things she so nails down in her stories.  

An interesting book can help you overcome anything. For me, these three books did the trick. Watching the documentary Social Dilemma further resolved my detox to be extended by the end of the month. TBH, after the strict first week, I did cheat a bit by accessing the applications via the web. But blame it on the interfaces, the time spend was negligible. Also, Chimamanda ensured that any remaining time I had left from work, study, daily chores and reading was spend extensively reading and researching about Nigeria. The Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba tribes. The Nigerian Civil War. And the recipes for Jollof Rice, Fufu’s and Fried Plantains. By the way I have really perfected my research on jollof rice and I am definitely making it next month. Next month because IT MOST DEFINITELY NEEDS TO BE INSTAGRAMMED RIGHT?

My closing thoughts on this topic would be – social media is a necessary evil. Necessary because it gives you so much information. I love the history, book, home décor and the foodie pages I follow on my Instagram. I love those tiny little baby chef pages. I love how some girl will take the pain of creating a video on the best nude lipstick shades for Indian skin tone and looking at it I can just order the one I like reducing my research time. Oh and the memes. I missed the meme pages the most. But how much you want it to dictate your life is in your hands – like literally. The trick is to find a middle ground and not get swayed by mindless browsing. I am still trying to find my middle ground. When I feel I am browsing way too much I simply get up eat a fruit, get hold of my book, study something, apply a face pack or go bug my husband for his unfolded laundry.

All in all, I really liked this social media detox. I may make it a regular feature once a month.

Also, I got a nice blog post out of it, so a win win.

Stay cautious of the Social Media Peeps!

So long.

Love:

Sepo

 

The Rundown: August 2020

It’s going to be a lean post this month.

It has been a crazy last few week. With tight schedule at work and parents visiting, add to that several festivals – I hardly had any moments of peace with myself to introspect. I did not even have a topic in mind to at least formulate something in my mind if not on the paper. Also, I was reading this book called A house without windows by Nadia Hashimi. Since it was based out of Afghanistan – the description, story-line, food, locales, characters – everything reminded me of Thousand Splendid Suns. Now if you have been reading this blog for long, you would know my obsession with Afghanistan, Mariam and Laila. I have written about it here, here, here, here, here and here. Yes, yes, yes – it was/is a huge obsession.

So, any minuscule time that I managed to get in-between all the other madness was spent in reading. I am not complaining though. I had a gala time reading the book. Of course, it’s no Thousand Splendid Suns but good. Also, I had a very disturbing experience of someone copying stuff from my writings. Yet again. This time however it was not at blatant as the previous one. Sneakier and smartly done. In a way that even though I know it has been taken from my blog, I still can’t point my finger to it. And that has just made me so sad. Angry first. But later just sad.

Of late I have seen multiple Instagram posts alleging or complaining about how their content/ideas/posts have been copied by popular Instagram influencers. Since these influencers have large standing and high number of followers, their content and words are taken at face value. And somehow the new budding creator has his/her wings cut. Now, a lot of people are of the opinion that imitation is a form of flattery or they will just throw a “grow a pair” at you, or even dare to ask you to grow a thicker skin. But trust me – it’s a lot easier said than done.

For a creative person there is nothing as devastating as finding someone stealing and posing your work as his own. I fail to understand what makes people to do this. Why would yourself to be a copy of someone, why not be an original? What drives me crazy is when educated people indulge in this deplorable behavior. I am sure all of us knowingly or unknowingly have many a times copied an image from the internet and used it in our documents or presentations. I have many a times done the same. However off late I make it a point to mention the website links wherever possible. If I like something on Instagram, rather than taking a screenshot and saving it for myself, I share it online giving due credit and link to the artist’s profile. I really wish people would respect the content one dares to share online.

I had all these things going on in my mind this month, hence I was unable to write or invest time on anything else. I have decided to maintain a low profile for now. Go easy on the online sharing for my blog. It has always been a very private space and I now intend to keep it that way at least for some time.

Hopefully next month would be a good post month!

Till then so long.

Love:
Sepo

Bullying In School and Beyond

There is a lot that goes about in schools apart from education and sports and all those extra curriculars. There is a lot of politics involved in who you sit with, eat with and mingle with. Who invites you to their birthday parties and who doesn’t. Ooo and birthday invitation cards matter too. If you have seen Mean Girls, you would understand what I am talking about. If you haven’t – Really? You haven’t? Hmph! Please go and watch this cult classic. 

The point is, there is always a crème-de-la crème that exists constituting of the IT girls who everyone wants to be friends with. Now I am not sure about how things work in school colleges anymore – considering there are a lot of changes from the time when I was in school. There was no digitization, no corrupting TV series, no branded clothes, no coffee chains but there was definitely a hierarchy, a lot of group-ism with underlying bullying.

Of course, there was not much understanding on these aspects at that point of time but when I look back, I can totally see it through. The talks about clothes – lack of fashionable clothes mostly during an annual children’s day celebration which was really just a big fashion show. A lot of judgement was passed on till of course the next year and the cycle would continue. Fancy stuff in tiffins, cold drinks in water bottles, vacations at fancy places, occupation of parents – these are just tiny examples which led to a lot of peer pressure. To be fare our school never endorsed any of this. Apart from that one exception for the children’s day, we had to wear our uniforms always – even during PTMs. We were not allowed to wear any jewellery of any kind. Just simple tops for the ears. No chains. No rings. No colored hair. No residue of Kajal. No fancy hairdo. No Step cutting. No flicks. All this was very annoying back then, but when I think about it now… I feel grateful that my school and people involved there cared enough to make the schooling years as comfortable as they could for kids’ comings from different backgrounds.

If you think we leave this toxic culture of bullying, judging, comparing at schools, you are so wrong. This never really goes away. You will always be judged right from a simple dinner party you throw to the dress you choose to wear at someone’s wedding. The stuff you post online, the frequency, your photographs – everything will be discussed and dissected. Some people will even make it a point to bring it to your notice on how you have put on weight or how you are posting a picture of chicken on a Tuesday. Now it totally depends on how you choose to take it. Don’t give a damn about what people say. With age, an added set of responsibilities and an attitude like “You-don’t-pay-my -bills” helps. But it is not fool proof.

Toxic people have a knack on sneaking up on you at most normal of places. They even lurk at your workplaces. I had a real bad encounter with one at the start of my career. This person made a point to make my life at work miserable by a mixture of intimidation, personal comments and other tactics which I understood very late. So much so that I had nightmares about going to office. Panic attacks at the very mention of Mondays. I may also have contemplated leaving my job many a times all because of this person. There were also many crying calls made to friends. I saw this person fish out the same treatment to many other newcomers after me. Not standing up for myself and others, remains one of my biggest regrets ever. Years later I understood that this persons’ bad behavior stemmed up from deep rooted insecurity. An explained need to not feel unwanted or overthrown. Well, what can you really do about that? We are all wired a certain way. And some of us may not even know there’s a fault in the wiring for a long time.

While all this is part and parcel of life, the thing is how do we know where to draw the line? We all may have knowingly or unknowingly hurt someone by comments which we may have thought to be innocent. But how our words affect other person, we have no way to know. All of us are struggling with battles of our own. Some have body issues, some may have anxiety, others may be having an off time at office, some may be struggling to make peace with hormones gone haywire by PCOS. Then there are mood swings and thanks to Corona, most of our work life balance is crazy. All I want to say and practice myself is to be kind. Let’s stop the judgement at least during the pandemic. If someone decides to post a workout video – let them. Cooking escapades – give a like. If they want to play every goddamn challenge from Sarees to B&W pictures- its there wish. Anything that keeps them happy even if temporarily. Let everyone do whatever the hell they want to keep sane.

To be honest I really did not have anything to write about this month. But I was/am very serious about fulfilling my news years resolution of 12 posts this year. One for each month. So, while this month has been very fruitful in terms of my reading goals. There was not much inspo from the writing front. I usually decide on a topic well in advance and then spend many weeks formulating ideas in my brain on how and what needs to be included. And when I sit to write, I slowly elaborate on all the bullet points in my brain. But this time my brain was empty. In the past, during a writer block I usually pranced away to nice pretty café. And a gourmet sandwich and endless coffees later I would have at least a blueprint of a write-up.

Since going out is out of picture now, I did the next best thing – a strong cup of immunity booster tea, some romantic yellow lighting, questionable numbers of pillows to make myself comfy and back to back episodes of Good Girls on Netflix for that perfect background noise. Some time later I had the three paragraphs you read in the start. Not sure from where and which corner of my brain and heart it sprouted…but I have an inkling that it may have something to do with Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide and the subsequent news items which have refused to die down since then. A part of it also came from this disclosure I read on how these big fashion magazines and brands – mostly led my these entitled young adults who feel they run the world – indulge in all kinds of shitty behavior.

All I can say to conclude this haphazard post is – Never do something that you may regret in future. Neither to yourself nor to someone else.

Live and let live

Love:
Sepo

Mad Men - An Appreciation Post

I love vintage everything. Shabby chic décor, vintage clothes, Victorian collars, polka dots, reclaimed wood furniture, vintage-y posters, old books. I just love it all. Of late I have also developed quite an interested toward history. I now try and sneak in books based back in time (or written during those times) to know more about how the world works. Sadly, this spark to learn was totally missing during my actual learning years. Ha. Anyhow – I mostly spend my free time on Pinterest or Instagram, feasting my eyes on these vintage thingies. And that is precisely how I came upon this gem called Mad Men on Netflix.

What I saw in the preview were some gorgeous looking men and women. Draped in some absolutely lust worthy ensembles and impeccably stylish hairdos. Very sixties and poufy. I was intrigued. I had just finished watching Money Heist and was looking for something less adventurous and easy on the mind. Mad Men just seemed perfect for this.


The build-up of the show was good. It held my attention but not in a way when you are left with no other option than to click on next episode. I was enjoying it leisurely and it provided a much need relief to the eyes. Beautiful visual and interesting storylines. Although the amount of sexual harassment at workplace unnerved me, but I had to keep reminding myself that in the 60s women had very little to do except for providing a glamour quotient and of course being the secretary. Being a secretary, learning shorthand and making a mean coffee were desired skills. Women holding important positions panicked men (waise isn’t that the truth even now?). There is a very important scene where the protagonist Mr Draper is seen leaving a meeting when a woman client is unsatisfied with his ideas. But not before declaring “I am not going to let a woman talk to me like that”.

But uprising of women from short skirts and high heels to pant suits is ideally what Mad Men is all about. Well, at least for me. I loved the character arc of Peggy Olsen. Mostly we are shown how women must be bitchy in order to attain top positions at work. Brash, rude and what not - to be taken seriously. But with Peggy, it was different and more realistic. She is considerate, focused, hardworking and yet humane. Not afraid to stand up for herself but mostly lets her work speak for itself. I absolutely adore the scenes between Peggy and Don Draper.

When I had read Elizabeth Gilbert’s City of Girls, which was also set in the similar timeline and place (NYC). I was so not convinced about how women could just go about partying every night with different set of men, be drunk wake up with a different set of people and smoke like chimneys. But all my doubts of authenticity were drowned by Mad Men. It was as if the book has come into picture in a world of beautiful young women, married men having flings with the drop of a hat. Sugar daddy’s sponsoring your Louis Vuitton. Women smoking during pregnancy and after – breast feeding be damned. Also, oh I am not sure about now but back then alcohol in advertising office seemed to be a mandate. Gulping a drink or two before, after and during a meeting was not really frowned upon.


Another fascinating thing about Mad Men was that is covers all important events of American and world history that happened in the sixties. Marilyn Monroe’s Death. The assassination of Kennedy Brothers. Civil rights protests. Landing on the Moon. Mohammad Ali’s winning fight. The Vietnam wars. Some serial killing, which I forget. And many other titbits here and there. I find it really enthralling to experience these events up close and personal via these mediums. For precisely this reason The Marvellous Mrs Maisel is another personal favourite.


Taking of favourites, here are some of my favourite characters from the show.


Peggy Olsen – She is my absolute favourite. I love her. Everything including that weird fringe hairstyle they gave her in the first few seasons. The growth her character had in a sector entirely dominated by men was remarkable and most importantly – believable.

Joan Holloway – Oh Jonnie. While she may come across as a bit mean and vindictive. She is as strong a character as Peggy. Her journey from being a secretary to a partner and married to single mom is quite fascinating.

Don Draper – He just fits into the description of the term “love to hate”. His character almost sells the cheating part while married to Betty. Because let’s face it, Betty is something else. But when he repeats the same things with Megan was when his downfall started. Also, he was a pretty lousy Dad to his children, especially Sally. But Don being Don is charismatic and can literally pull off anything including stealing identities.

Trudy Campbell – Though not a central character per se but I really admired her for throwing out that scum of a husband. In an era where wives turned a close eye to their husband’s extracurricular activities, she really had some spine. And a very fashionable closet.


And on that fashionable note. My most favourite part. Narrowing down the top five best fashionable moments on the show. Trust me, selecting just these five outfits was more difficult that conceptualizing and writing down this post. So, after much deliberation, here goes.

Ms Trudy. In her signature elegant chic avatar. Don't miss that brooch and earrings. Also I love all her hats.

Joan had a lot of bodycon dresses in her wardrobe. Though her red one seems to be the most popular, I like this olive green one.

Betty Draper the style chameleon. There was hardly any frame in the entire series where she looked anything less than gorgeous. Including the clothes she slept in. She was mostly seen in empire style dresses accentuating her tiny waist. But I like her in this black one she wore in Italy. That hairdo is everything!

Megan has some really epic fashion moments. This blue one was my favorite. very LA and very 60s

This was one of those statements via the clothes. Peggy in a pantsuit. Enough said.

Also, sadly the show has been taken off from Netflix. In the last few weeks before it was scheduled to go off, I was literally watching the show while cooking, cleaning, bathing, sleeping. I just had to finish it and thankfully succeeded in doing so.

Stay Stylish People
Don’t let the lock-down stop you from playing dress up and accessorizing.

Lots of love:
Sepo