Two's a Crowd

Staying away from family is an emotionally vulnerable state especially for first timers. It feels like life has suddenly thrown you from a five star hotel ambiance onto a self-service kinda place. The amount of stuff to be set-up and taken care of is so huge that it takes a toll on your emotional and social well-being. The support and understanding of your loved ones at this stage is of crucial importance. Without that your life is going to get an addition of drama with accusations like "You have changed" , " How can you have absolutely no time" and my favorite "You are not the only one staying away from home". Just one advice you can never really understand how it is going for a person unless you have been in their shoes.

Living on your own means you must get together with a few fellows and rent out a place you'd call  your temporary home unless ofcourse if you are super rich and a firm believer in soltitude. Either this or else if you don't have any company or the fat bank balance (like me) just put up with staying in a Paying Guest system. Now living in a PG has its own set of pros and cons. One good thing is that you have a set of people you know you can disturb incase the water purifier doesn't work or if there is leakage in the shower. Being on the receiving end of irritated monosyllabed answers has definitly some fun amount associated. Renting out thing means you are responsible for every little thing but yes it is way cheaper (and hussle free in terms of prying eyes) than the PG. Also in most of the cases the occupants actually know each other so there is no surprize element. 

In a PG on the other hand, you never know who you gotta put up with. If you are lucky, you may get to share what you call your temporary home with someone normal. But if you are not lucky then well, god save you. In the last 2.5 years I have met countless number of girls in my PG. The tatoo-ed ones, the hip-hop ones, the demure ones, the talkitive ones, the untidy ones, the too much cleaniness ones. You just name 'em, I have seen it all. And if I even begin to tell you a little something about each of them, I ll be an author of a book called The Crazy Girls. I have had my share of issues with some of the girls - from stolen money and clothes to stolen milk. Amongst the many girls that I have known, I have had the pleasure (or the displeasure) of sharing my room with 3 ladies. It has been an experience. Good and bad. Well honestly, it has mostly been just plain bad. So more about these 3 ladies now, for further references we shall call them P, G and B.
 

1. Miss P : March 2011 - September 2011

I got to know from my owners that my would be roomate is very keen on having the bed adjacent to the window, which by the way was mine and I was prepared to fight for it. But my resolve for my bed quickly evaporated when I met her. She was easily 15 years elder to me and had 13 years of experience. Definetly not matching the kind of roomate picture I was carrying with me. I was intimidated with her and her school of thought. And man was she disciplined or what, she was an early riser and a very early sleeper. She had issues with me talking on the phone at night and the fact that I kept my phone under the pillow which is dangerous because of the radiations and all. And also the fact that I talked for more than 15 mins using only one ear. Mostly she just had a lot of issues with my phone. Under her reign I actually became an early sleeper and no talker on the phone after 9 pm. If situation demanded I used to cover my face with a pillow, cover the pillow with a blanket and talk in hurried whispers from undercover. This continued for sometime until I made friends with the cool hall girls. I dragged my mattress out into the hall every night, where the girls had tea (and I drank Cola), they had namkeen ( and I had potato wafers). If incase I needed anything from my room, I made use of a torch instread of switching on the light and thereby awakening the devil. We girls slept on the floor, sang old songs and bitched about P and other girls.

Coming back to P, I never had any kinda relation with her. Just few cursory greetings and that's all. I used to suffer from a serious bout of sinusitis back then and my all night sneezing and snotting did invoke a lot of grunting and groaning noises from her. One peculiar thing about her was that for the 7 months I lived with her she ate nothing but oats and milk for dinner. Every night for 7 months. One good thing about her was that after her initial attempt at grooming me, she got it that I am past the age of grooming and let me be. No interference what so ever. She led her life and I led mine. But I missed some comarade between my roomy. I wished I had a roomy of my own age who I could talk to, have fun with and share stuff with. I used to get envious when my other friends used to share their stories of good times spent with the roomies. I did not know it back then but my wish was about to be granted.

Image courtesy - diylol.com

2. Miss G: October 2011 - July 2012

In P's absence me and the awesome hall girl S, kinda moved in together. We joined the 2 individual beds and spent our time wonderfully by talking, sleeping and mostly on our respective laptops. G arrived in between our afternoon nap one fine day. So in sleepy state S moved her stuff back to the the hall and thus the first set of emotion that G invoked was of strong hate. But that quickly changed when she helped me clean the mess I created by spilling cooking oil all over the kitchen. Secondly, she rescued me when I got locked in the washroom by unlocking the door with a scissor. She became the hero. Soon we became very close...sharing music and more. Singing to the tunes of Hotel California on the top of our voices. She was also very cool about my before-going-out-behaviour, which comprises of numerous outfit changes and same question asked in different postures. She never got bored of clicking my pics either, which meant that many profile pics were uploaded in her tenure. That said, she was also not without flaws. Infact there were many. She had this weird habit of setting her alarm at almost one hour before she was actually planning to wake up. She had very little regard for the other person in the room. But I made sure to change this habbit of her's by a direct confrontation. Also the joined beds provided me the opportunity to kick her at the start of alarm ringing. She took her own sweet time in the washroom and my door knocking/banging and shouting invoked no response whatsoever from her. That's because apparently she did not like to talk from inside there. Lamest excuse I have ever heard. She was also officially the first person in my life I saw using this app called wtsapp. She was soooo addicted to it, her day ended with it and started with it. She was spotted on the floor, phone on charging, eyes glued on the phone, no blinking, smile plastered across the face. I used to wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, find the bed next to me empty, look around and find her glued into the corner. With the lights off and her eyes and specs shinning with the light of the mobile, this sight used to creep the hell out of me. 

And yes just so you know, the joined beds thing did not go on for long. Her hands moved a lot in the night and hit me across the face many a times. Also wasn't quite a fan of what she blabbered during the night in her sleep. But by far she remains the only roomate who actually knows me. My likes, dislikes, the mood swings, she cooperated a lot during my morning shifts, prepared coffee for me when I was sick, took me to CCD for coffee dates and introduced me to dirty English songs. There are many other things that I would want to talk about but the thing is that she knows about the blog and does drop by sometimes.

Miss B: July 2012 - till date.

Till now B is the person topping the charts of the weirdo quotient. She wakes up in the middle of the night to wash clothes and wakes up really early to do the same. Well, she is extremely fond of washing clothes.She finishes atleast 4 packets of detergent every month. And the weird quotient doesn’t end here.She does not even acknowledge my presence in our room. She enters without any pleasantries or greetings. I tried being nice on many occasions like waving when spotting her coming out of the lift, but she looked away and I was caught off-guard with a raised hand and a number of onlookers. She enters and leaves the room as if she owns it. When I am sleeping early, tired from my morning shift she makes sure to bang the doors and keep the lights on for no apparent reason. She also loves to iron her clothes on my bed and in the process throws my things and soft toys here and there. She doesn’t talk to me but does not think twice before using my charger without my permission and even removing my phone from charging. She keeps numerous items under her pillow which vary from scissors to weirdly shaped stones and red and yellow pieces of cloths. She leaves the washroom smelling very incense-y and red with the sindoor (vermilion) which she apparently smears her head with. Thanks to the weird quotient I am very happy staying as far as possible from her. Both physically (the beds couldn't be any farther) and emotionally (No hi's no Hellos).

Recently I did took an initiative of extending the hand of friendship towards her by getting cake for her birthday (I came to know of her birthday by overhearing her conversations on the phone). So we cut the cake, celebrated her birthday very nicely. She was happy, surprised, well very surprised and mostly very thankful. So I thought that OK, now finally we may have a normal kind of roommate relation with one another. But the morning after I wake up and spot her sitting up, I smiled my sweet-just-woken-up-smile and get that godforsaken blank expression in return. I wanted to punch her but I did what I do the best to show the other person that I am angry ~ woke up hastily and banged the washroom door.

All things said, I must admit that when it comes to me, I ain't no saint. I am not an easy person to live with. I hate when someone uses my stuff, especially without asking. I get crazy when I come home and don't find the things in my bed in the same order I left them. And I absolutely hate those people who leave the door open while they leave (and B just loves to do that). The moment I spot the door open, I just can't get back to what I am doing. I get this uncontrollable urge to shut it, even if I know that the other person is coming back. I just  have to close it and that too in my signature door banging style! There are also some random issues like place to dry the clothes and keeping the fan on in mildly cold weather (I come from the mountains, how can I not want the fan). And I tend to make a very big deal out of my morning shifts, I expect everyone else in the house to cooperate. Nothing much actually just expect little noise and timely closing of the doors and lights. In-case this is not granted, I make sure to get even in the morning by disturbing their sleep. Every time I go to gossip about my roomy to the cool hall girl S, she is like "I am so happy we don't stay in the same room". Other than this and a few more things I am totally fun to live with.

Well, then that's all. Please feel free to bitch about your roomies here.

P.S On a totally different note, dear blog-o-friend Vishal had nominated me for a bunch of awards long back. However due to N number of reasons I was unable to respond or acknowledge his lovely gesture.
Thanks a lot Vishal.

Of Communal Harmony and other Blasphemy

We will soon be celebrating our 67^th Independence Day, pretty long time since we came out of. he British Empire shackles. India has grown since then, there have been many improvements made. But at the same time some things are fast heading towards a deterioration. With more education and exposure one would expect India to be counted amongst the developed countries by now. However India is still far from being counted amongst its developed counterparts. Look at the exponential increase in the crimes. The number of rapes happening in the country has doubled between 1990 and 2008. I was once both astounded and ashamed to find India amongst the list of "Top 10 unsafe countries to visit".


How can we expect a country to grow in any way when its residents share no humanitarian values? Where region and religion pay a predominant role. Where the ugly face of partition and riots sprouts up at any minor religion based provocation. Riots, curfews and bandhs are terms very common in my part of the world. I have grown up hearing and witnessing them. Though the co-existence of different communities is largely at peace, the cracks are visible at the some special times. The reasons may vary from a trivial India-Pakistan match to the Amarnath Yatra issue in 2008 to the invincible omnipresent Kashmir issue. The people of both communities hug each other in the moods of festive fervor be it Eid or Diwali. But when the time comes the same set of people do not shy away from killing each other in the name of religion. I say this not from hearsay but from witnessing it again and again in my 24 years of life.

It is no hidden fact that the people behind instigating hate against the other religion are usually politicians. They say the intoxication of power is the strongest of all. The power-greedy politicians don't think twice before creating a bloodshed amongst the common man. Same kind of situation happened on the eve of Eid-Ul-Fitr on the quiet and beautiful town of Kishtawar in my state Jammu and Kashmir. Hindu's have one story to share and Muslims have a totally different one. I don't know what exactly happened on that fateful day but I do know that it was the cause of a lot of killings, burnings and a total disruption of law and order. Very soon the entire scenario was brushed on to the nearby towns of Kathua, Batote, Ramban and Jammu. It was a matter of religion for the people, vote bank division of the three major parties - BJP, PDP & Congress and a fabulous topic to tweet for our CM Mr Abdullah. It must be understood that the people in mobs are difficult to control, they may be different in person and ideologies but when they are in mob they will have a common motive. If that motive is to kill the people of the other religion, then so be it.

Government quickly called for a curfew with section -144 imposed. Flag march by the army. Schools, colleges closed, exams postponed. GPRS service disabled. Prepaid phones and messages disabled. I got this information from my parents and it got back all memories at various stages of  my life when school was suddenly closed and exams were postponed. As I kid I used to be extremely happy about the whole holiday thing but at the same time the world curfew sounded serious. I did not understood it but the repercussions it brought were serious and realized by me later in life. I have spent approximately two months in curfew in the year 2008, which delayed by engineering university exams and it meant that I was late in becoming an engineer by 1 semester as compared to my friends studying in other parts of India. Not just students, there are pregnant women, people who need urgent hospitalization, people who need to travel, marriages, deaths and loss in business for daily wagers and businessmen. The politicians, mobs don't understand or even care for the side-effects of such things. They are just interested in provocation by the means of religious sentiments and divide their votes. They want the issue to be active for as long as possible. The more disscussed it is in the parliament more would be the benifits.

Any sane person from my state will tell you that these issues are a part and parcel of our life's. We are so used to them that they fail to instill any emotion into/from us. Just like any other stuff, this too shall pass. Some part of me accepts this theory but the other part is livid with anger. My blood boils at the thought of a human killing another for reasons that are so blah. I always used to think while growing up that our generation is way beyond the ideology of fighting amongst each other for religion. Some of my very close friends are Muslims. I enjoy their company and we have fun together without thinking about ways of how to get the other out of the state.Though not everyone is the same but yes my ideology of a new generation secular state of J&K has been shattered time and again. The proofs of which can be seen in numerous online news posts and social networking sites. Some of the comments are so hurtful and racist that I can't even begin to talk about them. It is here in the comments section when I realize what and how the mob ideology is changed and charged. 

It started with the partitions (well actually way before that with the Afghan rulers in valley and incent of Islam) and by the looks of it, I don't think it will ever be over. The  religious divide and rule initiated by the Britishers and followed ardently by our politicians.

The irony is that the rest of India celebrates Independence day in a few days while the people of J&K struggle to survive in the curfew ridden, internet abandoned city with the fear that voilence may erupt anytime.

Disheartened and Angry:

Sepo!

Let’s Talk Money, Baby!

Importance of money in our life cannot be measured. Money holds the key for your most basic and fundamental needs. We can go ahead and say things like ‘Money cannot buy happiness’but the inevitable truth is that money is in fact a very important contributing factor to our happiness. To merely survive one has to work hard to have or arrange a substantial amount of money. And if you plan to lead a comfortable life (which includes not just roti, kapda and makhan) you definitely have to work a lot harder than you think. People who are content with the kind of lives they lead are either of limited financial means or of extremely high financial status. That leaves us with people like us who are neither here nor there.

We are what the society has very aptly termed the Middle class. The salary vs. expenditure curve of this strata of society is abysmal. So mostly life is spent in a desperate attempt to make the ends meet. And after 15th of the month life is mostly spent waiting for the salary. Now in a scenario where savings are mostly negligible (especially when you are away from home) leading an extravagant lifestyle is not imaginable. This is where the one lettered work called Investment comes in handy.

Just like everything else in the world today, even Investments come with a number of options. There is gold and real estate and then there are bonds, stock, fixed deposits and mutual funds. People choose the type of investments depending on their requirements, understanding and feasibility. I chose mine based on my fathers’requirements, understanding and feasibility. I have been working since the past 2 years and since then the only investment I have made can be seen in my wardrobe. I hardly understand the financial talk. My father had been forever suggesting me to invest in shares or open a PPF account but I never did it. I found these heavy duty terms scary and somewhat cryptic. My father after two years realized that just words would only receive a deaf ear treatment from my side. So he sprang into action and opened a PPF account for me last time I was home.After that I took specific interest in financial investment and also tried to become a wise spender (well, I had to taking into consideration the rat hole I have been provided in the name of cupboard) . I even started think about a Life Insurance policy and stuff. So a week or so after the PPF account, I familiarized myself with FDs, polices, read about stock market shares and also income tax returns. So far so good. 

However after 15 days or so I conveniently forgot all about my leanings and also my PPF account. The outstanding amount in the account still remains the same as my first deposit (that too done by my father).I happened to read this article which emphasized the information of how single women are not that profound on investments. The article further detailed on how single women rely on men in their lives for handling money related matters. The man topping the chart was Dad followed closely by Boyfriends and Husbands. I tried to draw a comparison of my life with the article and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. I happening to spot this article precisely at the time I find myself in a financial mess. A major chunk of my salary has already been spent in paying loan amount to my brother-in-law. Some percentage has been spent on movies, trips and clothes (blame it on the sales’). I feel I have subconsciously trying to not spend any money now. Which can be the only explanation for why I still haven’t’ paid my rent, due to 15th of this month (Aren’t they lucky to have me as a tenant). Anyhow moving ahead I paid by phone bill of last month two days late for which I have to suffice a late fee. Exhausted my net plan of this month and availed an add-on plan without checking my billing cycle. So seems that the plan activated is active only for a single day (300 Mb @ Rs 100) as I am nearing by billing cycle. So this is just a mild way of highlighting the fact that I am unaware of my billing cycle. Everyone month I check the amount, verify the tariff plans subscribed and add fleeting glances towards the itemized details. Moving on I have also since long planned to deactivate my laptop net plan. My procrastination level reached alarming levels when I received a message stating at I owe them bill of two months, that too without any usage since two months from my side. I did finally drop a message of deactivation but two months too late. In case I forgot to mention this before, the PPF account is still awaiting some funds transfer from my end.

The article proved to be very apt for my case (atleast for this month). Ordinarily such a sexist write-up would have angered me and if I would have decided to write about it, it would surely have been on disagreeing terms. But sadly I am the guilty-as-charged here. Not at all proud of it but yes hugely angered and ashamed about the whole thing. At the same time however taking it in my stride and here’s hoping for a new improved, careful and financial smart me. They say positivity brings out the best in you, I would have ended this post on a frustrated and angered note had it not been for a dear friend. I narrated the entire list of woes to the friend and he listened to my batter very patiently and  laughed it off as if it was nothing out of the usual.

Well as they say "That's what friends are for"!

Love:

Sepo

Blah Blah Blah

Restlessness is a hugely unsettling thing. The irritation quotient associated with it just doubles up when you don't know the reason behind it. I don't know whether this is without reason or is an amalgation of a number of reasons. The rejections, disappointments and stress that we face on daily basis. Maybe they just get together and contribute to that heart-sinking, gut-crunching feeling. Or maybe it's just the hormones working as a part of the whole PMS thing.

Whatever the reason, the end result is definitly not good. It just like you have to do something, get over with a task but you don't know what the task is. And no amount of dark chocolates or back to back episodes of FRIENDS or SATC will seem to help. May I also mention that you may get an unreasonable urge to give a tight slap to Carrie Bradshaw, for all that whiney clingly behaviour with her Mr Big.

Moreover you can't explain it to anyone without sounding like a complete nut.

I try and stay from homosapiens during such bouts because I don't know I feel I might just kill someone. No kidding. Okay, I may have exaggerated that a little but no seriously, I do hate everything and anything happening around me.

And while we are on the topic of irritation, may I take this opportunity to discuss and let know how whole heartedly I hate the new blogger interface. I have never ever used an interface so user unfriendly. Even after months I still have to click on random (stupid) icons to see where I can start a new post or check the preview and don't even get me started on the template design and layouts. But the most annoying thing has to be the fact that they disabled automatic new tab opening for the posts from other blogs. Now what the hell is that about? On top of that they just remove the old interface and force me use the new one. All I am saying is just that LET ME CHOOSE just don't force your decisions and your idea of better user interface on me.

Writing has an unusually calming effect on me. There are just so many things I want to write about. It keeps my mind occupied and puts the irritation causing agents to rest. Infact not just irritation, on any emotional upheaval good or bad, I turn to my good old blog for support. There is something really sexy about writing especially late into the nights. Mind is fresh and perked up with ideas. Fingers are working swiftly to turn those ideas into sentences. Hint of music playing in the background. And the very distinct feeling of being alone in the dark night. Very cool really.....

I don't have the patience to re read and check the formatting/spelling of the stuff I have written. But I do realize that none of the paragraphs really mean anything or bear any relation with one another. I might as well have written individual mini posts. I initially planned to write just for a little sanity and mental peace. But then I thought that staying up till 2 in the morning and burning midnight oil should atleast bear some fruits (also will be fun to read it after some months/years). So I am going to do the brave thing and publish it.
Hallelujah.

P.S Although it may seem so, the post has NOT been written in a drunk state. Maybe in a little sleep induced state and well, restlessness.

Love:
Sepo :-)

Awkward Moments - Part 3

Confession - I am a huge fan of the 90s hindi movies music. Now the music of 90s can be broadly divided amongst many categories. One would be the Kumar Sanu songs like ayene ke sau tukde karke humne dekhe hai, others would be the soulful Alka Yagnik melodies from Qayamat se Qayamat tak, close in competition would be what were popularly known as the private albums in those days. The time when there were no extra a's and i's in Sonu Nigaam's name and Falguni's albums were eagerly awaited for. And then there were the nonsense no-meaning songs, especially the ones picturised on Govinda - Raveena and Govinda - Karishma. I love songs belonging to all the categories mentioned above. The love for them is invoked mostly by the memories they bring out. Being a 90s kid, the songs remind me of my childhood. Of Doordarshan and Chitrahaar. The emotions associated with these songs means that they are an imperative part of my song collection.

After-all whats not to love about these songs. Who doesn't croon alongside to Kumar Sanu's Chura ke dil mera goriya chali or sing along with Alka to Madhuri's Paalki main hoke sawaar chale rey. On some nights when I can't sleep I buffer old albums on you-tube. I can still picturize myself dancing to Yaad piya ki aane lage on various family functions and weddings.These songs are reminiscent of the running Vividh Bharati in the background while solving quadratic equations and saving up money to buy audio cassettes. Of imitating Madhuri's lehanga from Hum Aapke Hai Koun for sister's wedding and going weak in the knees for Miland Soman after watching re runs of Alisha Chinoy's Made In India.

They say you can judge a person by the kind of music they listen to. I beg to disagree. If you would scroll through my collection of songs you would find 90s collection (well obviously), Kishore Kumar's romantic collection, gazal's by Jagjit Singh ji, Ghulam Ali saab, Gulzar saab, Mehandi Hassan and Nusrat fateh Ali Khan saab, old classics by Lata ji and Rafi saab, the latest movies collection, punjabi songs ( this includes the sad songs quite popular in the public transports in my part of the world), songs by Honey Singh, English songs comprising of old english classics (Nothing's gonna change my love for you) and the latest ones. I feel there should be no prejudice in music. Just like sometimes we feel like having Chinese food one day and may want a pizza some other day, in music too all genes should be given a chance. I follow this principle and practice the same.

My workplace rules do not necessarily disapprove of individual music hearing by associates. But my manager strongly disapproves of it. Hence it is very rare when we listen to music while working or for that matter indulge in any activity remotely fun. This one time my manager and his close spies were all unavailable in office. I made perfect use of this opportunity by listening to music nonstop on my headphones. At some point of time I took off the headset to attend to a query by a team member. Now not being in a habit of regularly listening to music while working, I conveniently forgot about the headsets and the songs playing. After a substantial amount of time I remembered that I needed to ping a friend on wtsapp, so I just picked up my phone and randomly took off the headsets. To my horror song blasted on full volume and what was more horror inducing was the song that was actually getting played.

My mind, hands everything stopped working. However hard I tried I just couldn't get the damn thing stopped. Meanwhile I must have turned scarlet as my cheeks and ears were burning. You will have probably guessed by now that the song responsible for making me this uncomfortable must have been something. Without taking the suspense any further I will spill the beans. The song was from the Govinda - Karishma starrer namely Sarkaye lo khatiya jada lage. Now any hindi speaking person will understand the double meaning behind the song. My bad luck that I unhooked the headphones precisely when this song started to play.

My team members left no stone unturned to embaras me further. There jibes and loud laughs were cringe inducing. More than that were the comments like " Nice choice", "Good collection", Mujhko ranaji maaf karna yeh gaana bhi hai kya?

After this episode next few days in office were nothing short of terror. Though the music listening mode @ office is already were less but I am taking my precautions. My phone is now clear of any song with remotely objectionable lyrics.Whats done cannot be undone. Its been a while now and apart from occasional references to this episode its mostly a dead topic now. 

*Sigh of relief*

P.S Part 1 and 2 of the awkward series can be found here and here respectively. Reread to enjoy and as I always say before ending such posts - Please do share your awkward moments.

Love:
Sepo