Over the years, after meeting multitude of people I have come
to realize that being a good listener is such an underrated skill. I think most
of us have this incontrollable need to put across our point of view or
experiences in every conversation. Many a times not considering the fact that
some situations may not require us to get into sharing or problem-solving mode.
As an introvert-pretending-to-be-an-extrovert, I really struggle to share my
issues, problems and any mundane stuff with people, however close they might
be. And it breaks my heart into a million pieces when they go into “Hey, the
same thing happened to me…”, “Oh you know what you should do…” and the worse
when they keep interrupting. Arrrghh. Just, Zip.It.Up.
I am what you’d call a quarter of a Drama Queen. Whenever I
am in some dilemma, trouble or any kind of minor inconvenience I like to make a
huge hullabaloo out of it. I like to endlessly talk about it but mind you, I am
not looking for any solutions or help. All I want to portray is how hard the
situation is and make you a witness to how awesomely I am going to stride through
it. On my own. Why is this so difficult to understand? Especially to people of
the umm opposite sex. Sit your
ass down darling prince, this damsel will take care of her own distress. Thank
you very much.
Now I know I have my flaws as a person but one thing I am
really proud of is my ability to listen. Just listen. Make the other person
comfortable and let them just vent out. You would not believe how good the
other person feels when you simply just give them an attentive ear. What helps
more is that I never forget anything. All useless trivia like your ex-boyfriend,
the ice-crème flavour you ate 4 years back, the name of the guy who hit on you
when you were in college, your latest bumble match, the name of your
brother-in-law’s cousin you had a crush on, name of your neighbours’ pet, your favourite
cousin, the name of your best friend growing up. This and a lot more. So, while
the person is speaking, I keep dropping these titbits of information which further
pleases the person that they have undivided attention (and interest) of their
audience. Well, if I am being honest a few of them are a little freaked out as
well, but impressed, nonetheless.
I know this post has taken quite a comical turn but my
original intent for it was to be a serious one. I mean the examples I have given
are very tame compared to the monstrosity I have witnessed people commit. I
would say it is still okay to butt in for minor day to day stuff, but people
really need to be taught how to behave in sensitive situations. Situations like
death and condolences. When you talk to a bereaved family or a person, you do
not give examples of how the same or worse happened with you and how you cope
up with it. You do not make it about yourself. Give them love, give them
strength. If you cannot do that just shut your mouth and just be there. Trust
me, people however doomed they maybe in grief remember who came, who called and
who was silently just present. And for the love of God, don’t go about asking
the age of the person who passed away. I mean how does that matter? A loss is a
loss irrespective of the time, age or any other factors. Don’t go on being a jerk.
What baffles me the most is that people committing these faux
pas aren’t some underaged kids but grown-ups. I have personally seen people
decades older than me behaving like complete social misfits. Incidents like these
solidify my belief that apart from algebra and organic chemistry, we need to be
teaching empathy and values in school. And a refresher course of using social
media. On how just because you sit behind a screen doesn’t give you a right to
pass mean comments and judgements on people.
Well, that’s all. My rant for the day is done. I hope my
miniscule audience here reads, agrees and implements atleast a part of what I
have written about.
Until next time.
Love:
Sepo
