The Future? Our family and children?
Unpredictability?
Anxiety? A disturbed mind?
Danger to oneself and family?
Fear of stepping out and living peacefully?
Fear of practicing your religion?
Fear of wearing the clothes, jewellery or makeup that highlight your identity?
Sudden blackouts and loudspeakers from mosques blaring, asking you to convert or flee?
Witnessing killings of prominent members from your community?
Threatening posters stuck outside your homes?
Asking you to leave but keep your women behind?
Rapes of women, infants being killed?
Is this enough to instill fear? Or was/is more needed.
What option would a sane person be left with? Stay? Or leave? Maybe come back once things normalize (only its been more than 30 years, and things on the ground level remain the same).
Belonging to a community that has time and again been branded as cowards, who ran away - I have many times thought about possible solutions or workarounds we had as a minority group in Kashmir. The exodus of 90s was not a sudden affair. As I hear from my parents and relatives, the air in Kashmir was very different months from the dark night of Jan 1990. There was something in the atmosphere, you could not exactly pin point to but feel. There was apprehension and fear. Dapan keh chu gasan wol. Everyone came home early, doors were carefully locked, utmost caution was taken but yet no-one in their wildest dream could have envisioned that they are actually spending their last few months as inhabitants of this land they so dearly loved.
Soon it started, 14 September 1989 Tika Lal Thaploo - a prominent kashmiri pandit was killed.
Soon after Neekanth Ganjoo, a high courst judge was killed.
Early January 1990, local newspapers carried a message which threatened all Hindu's to leave Kashmir.
Almost in every neighborhood posters were stuck, with threats and names of people on the Hit List.
19th January, the black day in history - in the middle of the night loudspeakers from the mosques called for killings of Hindu's. Asking pandit men to go from kashmir but leave their women behind. Chaliv. Raliv ya Galiv for the motto and one of the slogan. Leave, Convert or Die. Like Sophie's Choice for us.
In Feb 1990, Satish Tikoo a social worker was shot dead.
Soon, Lassa Kaul Director of Srinagar Doordarshan was killed.
In April, Sarwanand Kaul Premi, a poet was murdered.
In June, Girija Tickoo, a teacher was raped and tortured. Her abdomen was ripped and using a saw machine her body was cut in two. Can you imagine the situation being reversed and in this time and era - the kind of wrath it would invoke? I can already see film stars holding placards for the photo ops.
The above mentioned killings are just a few prominent ones, there were many many such incidents of killing, looting and rapes. In a time where there were no telephones or means of communications - my parents tell me they had sleepless nights. Praying fervently that all near and dear ones had made it through the night. After a lot of thought and discussions, many families including mine decided to leave. And no, Governor Jag Mohan or "Indian Agencies" did not ask us to leave as is very conveniently put by the people of Kashmir.
What else were we supposed to do? How do you argue or face a religious maniac with a gun? There can only be one voice - the sound of the bullet killing you. In the late eighties many of the young Kashmiri Muslims had crossed over to Pakistan to receive training and AK-47s. Young, fueled with religious fanaticism, given guns - they were blood thirsty. Kashmir Pandits were their targets. Yasin Malik, Bitta Karate have confessed on record to killing Kashmiri pandits. Even boasted that they never missed their targets. Needless to say, they received a lot of support from the locals. Treated to lunches and dinners. And so as not to offend them and hence have their wrath on them - the locals never openly condemned the killings of Kashmiri Pandits. But I don't need to tell you all this. The entire world saw what happened in Kashmir in 2006 when Burhan Wani was killed.
Even after the mayhem of 1990 some Hindu families stayed back. But they were given timely reminders that Hindu's are not to stay in Kashmir. Wandhama and Nadimarg massacres in year 1998 and 2003 were an example of this. Kashmir Hindu's were lined up and killed. Even little kids and women were not spared. The youngest casualty was a 2 year old boy. Let that sink in.
ML Bindroo, a chemist who had a very popular medical shop in Kashmir was shot while at work on October 5 2021. This was to be the 5th of the total 7 targeted killings across Kashmir. Even teachers (including a woman) were not spared. People working for the majority on ground level for the betterment of people in Kashmir - ironies of all ironies. How is killing a human being still tolerated? Why are educated people silent about it. At this point I am not even talking about religious angle, is a Human life not worth anything if it doesn't benefit one politically?
The selective silence of the very active "Kashmir Bleeds" brigade is deafening. The people who make hue and cry about human rights violation, internet shutdown and the general "azadi" hullabaloo have zipped their lips and pens. I know, because I have been stalking them obsessively.
The recent killing could not have come at a worst time. I was reeling under a Kashmir hangover. While I was born there, we left when I was 1 year old. I had visited once in 2000 when my father was posted there. But when I went again just last month, it personally felt like a homecoming. I was drowned in the exquisite beauty of untouched places and felt an unexplainable joy of calling this beauty my motherland. I literally felt at home amongst the ethos of the city. The food, the language, the jokes, the idioms everything was a part of me. I clicked thousands of pictures with traditional outfits.
I came back with memories, lot of happiness, resolutions and the sweet sound of Lidder flowing in my ears.
Only to be jostled with the disheartening news. The pictures, smiles, the Pherans - everything looks like a sham now. The once beautiful memories have now left a sour taste in my mouth. The actions have made it very clear that we can enjoy and experience Kashmir as long as we have a return ticket booked.
Can you feel the pain of visiting your motherland - the land of your deities and ancestors as a tourist?
Love:
Sepo
