Okay, if I hear another #MeToo news/article I will scream. Oh I will scream so bad. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of empathy for all the women out there who have had to bear the brunt of disrespect and harassment. But of late it’s getting a bit much.
Pick up the newspaper and it’s splattered all over. Browse through Instagram and you will see Rakhi Sawant doing god knows what wearing something that doesn’t make any sense and speaking, well I have no patience to hear what she says. If this is not enough, very recently there was this girl who stripped down to resist getting arrested/escorted by the police. I don’t know about others but I get really affected by all this negativity. Call it living in a bubble but I like to believe the best in people. Not all people are good I know, that but we always have the option of staying away from them.
Just because there is bad in the world doesn’t mean there is no good. The fact that few men choose to use their power and position for dishonorable deeds doesn’t mean all do so. All men cannot and must not face the brunt of a few lascivious men. And most importantly no women should exploit her position, her gender, the laws and the trending topic to her advantage or for personal vendetta. Doing this dissolves the good intension behind every movement. People start to react to every story henceforth with a pinch of salt and mostly it just shoves back genuine cases back to where they came from.
There is now a lot of dis-credibility associated with anything that a woman reports. And why shouldn’t it be, after all there have been so many fake cases. Irony is that hundreds of genuine cases may not shake people, but one fake case and everyone will become a cynic. I feel as women it is our responsibility to report responsibly. Not indulge in unnecessary male bashing for petty issues and for heaven’s sake stop calling everything and anything to be a feminist. People have given such a bad name to being a feminist, it breaks my heart when I see and hear people calling derogatory terms like Feminazis. Le Sigh. I wish people would understand that feminism is about EQUAL rights, not about special treatment.
After reading all these disturbing stories, I thought about my personal instances of MeToo. And of course there were many. I am sure every girl out there has encountered these situations in different forms and times. I am however also sure that many girls would have something positive, heart-warming or good memory associated with a member of opposite sex. Because come-on not all men are sexual predators. By the means of this post, I decided to think of these memories or instances where I felt SAFE or touched emotionally in the company of the XY chromosome holders.
Year 2005. The Silent Protector
I was in 11th standard and used to go for tuitions and commute in local buses. It was autumn, the days were getting shorter and it used to be very dark by the time we were free from our classes. It was a popular center so a lot of guys used to sit outside on their bikes and chitter chatter loudly. Some amount of teasing, shouting and whistling was also indulged. So when I used to cross the road and wait for my bus, it was a slightly uncomfortable feat even though the banter from the boys may not have been necessarily directed towards me. There was this one boy who I began to notice used to stand with me till I boarded the
bus. I happened to know where he lived and hence noticed that he missed many of the buses going to his route. I expected to receive a fraanship offer from him very soon. But no such thing happened, soon the tuition classes got over and that was that. It was years later I came to know that he felt he should wait for me to board the bus and then leave as it was dark and I was alone. What a sweet gesture, no?
Year 2016. The fundraiser
This was right after demonetization. I had Rs 60 left in my wallet. Banks were overcrowded, ATMs were out of cash and friends were all under the cash crunch. So I had taken to book cab rides for my 4km journey from office to PG instead of the usual auto-rickshaw. Now this was pre Google pay and PayTM too was just starting to get popular. I was entirely relying on the Ola money for my transportation. One fateful night the cabs started to play me by cancelling the rides, not picking up the calls etcetera etcetera. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown when finally one arrived. We got to talking as he was curious why I was booking cabs for such short distance. I explained him my financial crunch and then he said something that I will never forget. He said how I was like his daughter and I can borrow Rs 500 from him. It was a really big gesture, as cash was like really scarce and there was this huge fixation with the new notes. Remember how everybody back then was taking selfie’s with 2000 and 500 notes? I declined the offer politely but not before thanking him profusely.
Year 2006. The Designer
Ask any engineering student and they will share how they were petrified of a subject called Mechanics. Not me though. It was Engineering Drawing that gave me the heebie jeebies. The drafter, chart holder, HB pencils, scale, compass and what not! I had all the accessories but knew very little on how to use them properly. The teacher, though very good taught in a manner that I just could not connect to. And call it bad luck but whenever we had the lab session for drawing wherein you can practice on drawing boards I met with some or the mishap. Once I fainted because we had to keep standing for long periods of time and the fan above was moving at a snails speed. Another time I had freaking bad cramps. Some other time we decided to bunk and sit outside in our special dhabha and eat stuffed naan and rajma with imli and mulli ki chutney. Omg my mouth just filled with whole lotta saliva! Anyhow coming back to the topic as is evident by now I had minuscule knowledge about the subject. Now we were supposed to submit two assignments before final assessment and I had already missed the deadline for the first one and the second one was due a day after. In despair I started to panic. One of my friend (very good at the subject) made both the assignments for me. Omg. I was on cloud 9 literally! Now before to jump to any conclusions he had a huge crush on some other girl from our class, so this was just a simple good deed done for a stupid lazy girl. Now the final assessment was very adventures too, but that’s a different story for a different time.
So yea. That’s all I could remember in this short span of time I dedicated in penning down this post. Do update in comments if you have a similar story to share. Would love to hear.
Lots of love:
Sepo
Pick up the newspaper and it’s splattered all over. Browse through Instagram and you will see Rakhi Sawant doing god knows what wearing something that doesn’t make any sense and speaking, well I have no patience to hear what she says. If this is not enough, very recently there was this girl who stripped down to resist getting arrested/escorted by the police. I don’t know about others but I get really affected by all this negativity. Call it living in a bubble but I like to believe the best in people. Not all people are good I know, that but we always have the option of staying away from them.
Just because there is bad in the world doesn’t mean there is no good. The fact that few men choose to use their power and position for dishonorable deeds doesn’t mean all do so. All men cannot and must not face the brunt of a few lascivious men. And most importantly no women should exploit her position, her gender, the laws and the trending topic to her advantage or for personal vendetta. Doing this dissolves the good intension behind every movement. People start to react to every story henceforth with a pinch of salt and mostly it just shoves back genuine cases back to where they came from.
There is now a lot of dis-credibility associated with anything that a woman reports. And why shouldn’t it be, after all there have been so many fake cases. Irony is that hundreds of genuine cases may not shake people, but one fake case and everyone will become a cynic. I feel as women it is our responsibility to report responsibly. Not indulge in unnecessary male bashing for petty issues and for heaven’s sake stop calling everything and anything to be a feminist. People have given such a bad name to being a feminist, it breaks my heart when I see and hear people calling derogatory terms like Feminazis. Le Sigh. I wish people would understand that feminism is about EQUAL rights, not about special treatment.
After reading all these disturbing stories, I thought about my personal instances of MeToo. And of course there were many. I am sure every girl out there has encountered these situations in different forms and times. I am however also sure that many girls would have something positive, heart-warming or good memory associated with a member of opposite sex. Because come-on not all men are sexual predators. By the means of this post, I decided to think of these memories or instances where I felt SAFE or touched emotionally in the company of the XY chromosome holders.
Year 2005. The Silent Protector
I was in 11th standard and used to go for tuitions and commute in local buses. It was autumn, the days were getting shorter and it used to be very dark by the time we were free from our classes. It was a popular center so a lot of guys used to sit outside on their bikes and chitter chatter loudly. Some amount of teasing, shouting and whistling was also indulged. So when I used to cross the road and wait for my bus, it was a slightly uncomfortable feat even though the banter from the boys may not have been necessarily directed towards me. There was this one boy who I began to notice used to stand with me till I boarded the
bus. I happened to know where he lived and hence noticed that he missed many of the buses going to his route. I expected to receive a fraanship offer from him very soon. But no such thing happened, soon the tuition classes got over and that was that. It was years later I came to know that he felt he should wait for me to board the bus and then leave as it was dark and I was alone. What a sweet gesture, no?
Year 2016. The fundraiser
This was right after demonetization. I had Rs 60 left in my wallet. Banks were overcrowded, ATMs were out of cash and friends were all under the cash crunch. So I had taken to book cab rides for my 4km journey from office to PG instead of the usual auto-rickshaw. Now this was pre Google pay and PayTM too was just starting to get popular. I was entirely relying on the Ola money for my transportation. One fateful night the cabs started to play me by cancelling the rides, not picking up the calls etcetera etcetera. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown when finally one arrived. We got to talking as he was curious why I was booking cabs for such short distance. I explained him my financial crunch and then he said something that I will never forget. He said how I was like his daughter and I can borrow Rs 500 from him. It was a really big gesture, as cash was like really scarce and there was this huge fixation with the new notes. Remember how everybody back then was taking selfie’s with 2000 and 500 notes? I declined the offer politely but not before thanking him profusely.
Year 2006. The Designer
Ask any engineering student and they will share how they were petrified of a subject called Mechanics. Not me though. It was Engineering Drawing that gave me the heebie jeebies. The drafter, chart holder, HB pencils, scale, compass and what not! I had all the accessories but knew very little on how to use them properly. The teacher, though very good taught in a manner that I just could not connect to. And call it bad luck but whenever we had the lab session for drawing wherein you can practice on drawing boards I met with some or the mishap. Once I fainted because we had to keep standing for long periods of time and the fan above was moving at a snails speed. Another time I had freaking bad cramps. Some other time we decided to bunk and sit outside in our special dhabha and eat stuffed naan and rajma with imli and mulli ki chutney. Omg my mouth just filled with whole lotta saliva! Anyhow coming back to the topic as is evident by now I had minuscule knowledge about the subject. Now we were supposed to submit two assignments before final assessment and I had already missed the deadline for the first one and the second one was due a day after. In despair I started to panic. One of my friend (very good at the subject) made both the assignments for me. Omg. I was on cloud 9 literally! Now before to jump to any conclusions he had a huge crush on some other girl from our class, so this was just a simple good deed done for a stupid lazy girl. Now the final assessment was very adventures too, but that’s a different story for a different time.
So yea. That’s all I could remember in this short span of time I dedicated in penning down this post. Do update in comments if you have a similar story to share. Would love to hear.
Lots of love:
Sepo
Totally agree with you... Such movements lose their essence because if fake stories...
ReplyDeleteAnyways I am more interested to know who was the college guy.. Though I have little clue 😉