"Every girl wants a bad boy, who will be good just for her and every boy wants a good girl who will be bad just for him."
This quote got me to thinking about the ever ranging war between the good guys and the bad guys. It is a well known fact that since ages, girls have been attracted to bad boys. The one with bikes and money, leather jackets and an attitude, anger and aggression, brawls and fights. She just can't help fantasizing about the bad boy while friend-zoning the good guy heads over heels in love with her. There are a lot of theories floating about this very strange attraction:
1. The bad boy is not easily attainable, hence the challenge to pursue him is unmatched
The bad guy is not someone who can be tied into being in a relation with a same girl. Changing girlfriends (breaking their hearts on the way) is the part of the game the bad boy so excels in. Tying him down hence is a challenging task to say the least. Thus a girl takes the responsibility of taming this wild child into a more homely creature. While many succeed in doing so others are then seen crying in the arms of the friend-zoned guy.
2. The bad boy is rough and not all girls out there like chivalry
Not all girls want to be treated lady-like. Some want the casual stuff and that is exactly what drives them to the bad guy. Because the bad guy is not a gentleman, knows no chivalry. He won't open the doors nor pull any chairs for you. Thats precisely the reason why the prim proper girls stay away from him. And the bad guy is out hunting for them (as they are out-of-league). It is a vicious circle really!
3. The pain associated with heart-break involved in a relationship with the bad boy is addictive
We all know, being with the bad boy is not easy. He will be emotionally unavailable, prone to anger spurts, maybe two timing or just uninterested. The stress caused by being with someone like this is addictive. It makes it feel like love. When things are easy and we have a guy who is totally into us, does not cheat or insult. Things seem too good to be true and that freaks us out. Love has been made synonymous with pain by the books, movies and other marketing gimmicks. So when things are smooth in our love -life (like with a good guy) it all seems very un-love like to us. Believe it or not we dig drama in our lives.
4. Challenge to turn the bad guy into the good guy
The ultimate challenge of dating a bad guy is to change him into good. Make him into somebody you can introduce your parents to. Change the way he cuts his hair and dresses up. Erase various profanities from his vocabulary. There are a lot of tasks involved in transition from bad to good. None of these deter the girl involved in bringing about these changes. Whether or not all the hard-work will bear fruits depends on the destiny and the kind of mark the girl has left on the bad boy's heart.
5. The excitement of experiencing the bad guys world
Bad guy has a different way of life. If the good guy is daal chawal, bad guy is the biryani. If good guy is Bata, bad guy is the Charles Keith. If good guy is the desi Chinese served at Indian outlets, bad guy is the authentic Chinese served at Mainland china. His style is unmatched. He only shops from branded shops. He guzzles beer more than water. He smokes up stuff. He can tell his wines from each other. 80% of girls have had their first share of alcohol or smoke in the company of a bad guy. His pub hopping and loud music playing definitely attracts a fair share of girls to him.
In-spite of the above mentioned points it is baffling as to why any girl would subject her to such atrocities. At the end of the day every girl deserves to be with a guy who appreciates and adores her. It is very important to make right decision and move towards the right guy. While the bad guy may give you a temporary high, it is the good guy who will guarantee that you get your deserved share of permanent happiness.
Love:
SEPO
This quote got me to thinking about the ever ranging war between the good guys and the bad guys. It is a well known fact that since ages, girls have been attracted to bad boys. The one with bikes and money, leather jackets and an attitude, anger and aggression, brawls and fights. She just can't help fantasizing about the bad boy while friend-zoning the good guy heads over heels in love with her. There are a lot of theories floating about this very strange attraction:
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The bad guy is not someone who can be tied into being in a relation with a same girl. Changing girlfriends (breaking their hearts on the way) is the part of the game the bad boy so excels in. Tying him down hence is a challenging task to say the least. Thus a girl takes the responsibility of taming this wild child into a more homely creature. While many succeed in doing so others are then seen crying in the arms of the friend-zoned guy.
2. The bad boy is rough and not all girls out there like chivalry
Not all girls want to be treated lady-like. Some want the casual stuff and that is exactly what drives them to the bad guy. Because the bad guy is not a gentleman, knows no chivalry. He won't open the doors nor pull any chairs for you. Thats precisely the reason why the prim proper girls stay away from him. And the bad guy is out hunting for them (as they are out-of-league). It is a vicious circle really!
3. The pain associated with heart-break involved in a relationship with the bad boy is addictive
We all know, being with the bad boy is not easy. He will be emotionally unavailable, prone to anger spurts, maybe two timing or just uninterested. The stress caused by being with someone like this is addictive. It makes it feel like love. When things are easy and we have a guy who is totally into us, does not cheat or insult. Things seem too good to be true and that freaks us out. Love has been made synonymous with pain by the books, movies and other marketing gimmicks. So when things are smooth in our love -life (like with a good guy) it all seems very un-love like to us. Believe it or not we dig drama in our lives.
4. Challenge to turn the bad guy into the good guy
The ultimate challenge of dating a bad guy is to change him into good. Make him into somebody you can introduce your parents to. Change the way he cuts his hair and dresses up. Erase various profanities from his vocabulary. There are a lot of tasks involved in transition from bad to good. None of these deter the girl involved in bringing about these changes. Whether or not all the hard-work will bear fruits depends on the destiny and the kind of mark the girl has left on the bad boy's heart.
5. The excitement of experiencing the bad guys world
Bad guy has a different way of life. If the good guy is daal chawal, bad guy is the biryani. If good guy is Bata, bad guy is the Charles Keith. If good guy is the desi Chinese served at Indian outlets, bad guy is the authentic Chinese served at Mainland china. His style is unmatched. He only shops from branded shops. He guzzles beer more than water. He smokes up stuff. He can tell his wines from each other. 80% of girls have had their first share of alcohol or smoke in the company of a bad guy. His pub hopping and loud music playing definitely attracts a fair share of girls to him.
In-spite of the above mentioned points it is baffling as to why any girl would subject her to such atrocities. At the end of the day every girl deserves to be with a guy who appreciates and adores her. It is very important to make right decision and move towards the right guy. While the bad guy may give you a temporary high, it is the good guy who will guarantee that you get your deserved share of permanent happiness.
Love:
SEPO
That's an interesting perspective depicting the guys that girls fall for. Just trust yourself and find someone who will respect you, your beliefs and who you are as a person.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post Sneha!
ReplyDeleteRead this post, then had my dinner and now back to leisurely share my opinion, cause I didn't wanted to rush and write just a line or two.You are well aware of my proficiency on topics of love, romance and relationship, so let me share my thoughts.
I disagree with everything about this post except the last/concluding paragraph. Not every girl fits into the stereotype of, "Every girl wants a bad boy". If this quote had any truth, all the self-proclaimed nice guys would end up taking the quote as an excuse to turn into complete douchebags.
Girls have individual preferences, they all vary depending on what feature/quality they find most attractive in guys.
Girls get attracted to confidence. In my life, I've received compliments from girls every time I showed confidence, so this point comes straight from my personal experience. Girls love that trait in guys.
Girls get attracted to guys who excite them, challenge them and at the same time make them feel special. Guys who are kind, caring and respectful.
Girls get attracted to genuine guys who are mature enough to understand the practicalities of life and not fake guys.
Well, there are two types of nice guys:
ReplyDelete1. Confident nice guy (secure and genuinely nice)
2. Doormat nice guy (insecure and weak)
A Confident nice guy is someone who has self esteem and individuality. He is extremely sweet, he can come across as overly-nice, cares and respects people around him but at the end of the day, he is strong and exciting as well - he'll still have his boundaries clearly defined. This guy will challenge his girl, seduces her, empowers her and at the same time will love, honour and value her.
A doormat is the guy who is always walked all over cause he is a people pleaser. He is boring and weak cause he is afraid of making enemies and wants to play safe always. He is useless cause he spends all his life smiling and nodding to everything he is asked/told to do.
The reason why I can tell the difference between these two categories is because I have confidence in myself and I am secure and comfortable being myself. I stand strong for what I believe in. When people try to rub their thoughts on me, I tell them straight to their face to "f*** right off / kiss my a** " - they feel like they've just received a tight slap from me and realize that they can't use me, I am a man of self-respect and individuality and I do only what I feel like doing and nobody can walk over me. As long as someone is nice to me, I am the nicest guy they'd have ever met on this planet. The moment they treat me wrong, I'll tell them to f*** off and won't give a s**t anymore. Probably none of my blogger friends got a chance to see this side of me cause nobody has ever argued with me / forced their thoughts on me or tried to make me say or do something that I dislike.
I know the same will happen in future with my partner. Whenever necessary, I will challenge her and will intellectually argue with her to prove a point. Cause it's pointless if someone simply nods and agrees to everything that is said to them.
My definition of bad guys is they are arrogant cocky pricks also popularly known as selfish manipulative bas***ds who mask their insecurities with over-confidence and come across as jerks.
I think the reason girls like arrogant guys is cause of their in-built sexual fantasies: they crave to be dominated, someone who controls her, ties her up, whips her. They'll want that rebellious attitude and wildness to satisfy their desires. But girls who meet confident nice guys will eventually realize that a true man only gives the best to his girl in bed - variety is the spice of life - so it is all about role play - he can be wild like an animal or gentle and sweet - a gentleman is an expert in seductive games. And the so called bad guys are morons who wouldn't have a f*****g clue how to handle her by touching her at the right place at the right time and in the right way is important cause bad guys are violent and the girl might get exposed to domestic violence.
Normally attention seeking girls fall for bad guys. They suffer cause bad guys are not committed. And I believe every girl although have a fantasy of being with a bad guy will eventually choose a confident nice guy cause she can trust his loyalty.
OMG! I'm just wondering now if my comment turned out longer than the actual blog post!! I better conclude this here :)
I recommend every girl to find a guy who is confident, kind-hearted, forgiving, dependable, committed and is a great listener (cause girls love to talk - so it is important he listens and understands).
To sum it all up in short. Girls you gotta find a guy who after every argument has the balls to put his ego aside, walks up to you, will look straight into your eyes and will say, "Darling, I'm sorry. It's all my fault."
And you know why he does that - not because he is always wrong but because he puts the relationship always ahead of his ego.
All the Best,
Sai :)